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Dr. Galena Rhoades, coauthor of Fighting For Your Marriage, returns to From the Green Notebook to talk with Joe about the strain that deployments, training, and time apart place on military marriages—and how couples can stay connected through it.

Drawing on years of research and her work helping couples strengthen relationships, Galena explains why separation creates unique challenges, how communication often falls into “just logistics,” and what it takes to keep connection alive across distance. Together, she and Joe unpack lessons that every military family can use—lessons Joe wishes he had known during the nearly five years he spent away from home over his career.

In this episode, Joe and Galena explore:

• How to keep communication from becoming only about schedules and logistics
• Why friendship talk, support talk, and even conflict talk are essential during separation
• The “alternate universe” of deployment, and how to bridge that gap with your partner at home
• The emotional boundaries that can erode if couples aren’t intentional about protecting them
• Why reintegration isn’t about picking up where you left off, but about building a new relationship on the same foundation

Whether you’re facing your first deployment or your fifth, these insights will help you and your partner navigate the hard parts of separation and come back together with greater strength and understanding.

Galena K. Rhoades, Ph.D., is a research professor and the director of the Institute for Relationship Science in the Department of Psychology at the University of Denver. Her research focuses on romantic relationship formation processes, such as dating and living together, and predictors of relationship success. She also conducts studies on the effectiveness of relationship interventions offered by community organizations across the United States. She has more than 140 publications in these areas.

Dr. Rhoades founded a nonprofit in Denver called Thriving Families. This organization offers MotherWise, a relationship education program for women during pregnancy and postpartum, as well as mental health services for families. Dr. Rhoades is also a practicing clinical psychologist. In her private practice, she primarily sees couples and families.

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In this special Notebook Notes episode, Joe sits down with Sergeant Major Urzua and Sergeant Major Brady to discuss the Army Directive 2025-18, with a guest appearance from Sergeant Major of the Army Michael Weimer.

• The intent behind the new Army directive and what it means for Soldiers and leaders
• Why appearance reflects discipline, professionalism, and Army values
• How commanders and NCOs are empowered to enforce standards
• Clarifications on what’s included—and not included—in this directive
• Timelines for implementation
• Broader leadership insights from SMA Weimer on professionalism, trust, and readiness
• Why SMA Weimer doesn't wear Army PT shorts (for now)

Click here to read AD 2025-18 so you can stay informed.

A Special Thanks to Our Sponsors!

Veteran-founded Adyton. Step into the next generation of equipment management with Log-E by Adyton. Whether you are doing monthly inventories or preparing for deployment, Log-E is your pocket property book, giving real-time visibility into equipment status and mission readiness. Learn more about how Log-E can revolutionize your property tracking process here!

Meet ROGER Bank—a modern, digital bank built for military members, by military members. With early payday, no fees, high-yield accounts, and real support, it’s banking that gets you. Funds are FDIC insured through Citizens Bank of Edmond, so you can bank with confidence and peace of mind.

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Author and researcher Dr. Colin Fisher joins Joe to unpack the invisible forces that shape teams—and why leaders ignore them at their own risk.

From his book The Collective Edge: Unlocking the Secret Power of Groups Dr. Fisher shows how group dynamics are always at play, whether in a locker room, a boardroom, or on the battlefield. Together, he and Joe explore why the myth of the lone genius persists, why synergy is real but rare, and how leaders can deliberately build trust, structure, and norms that drive high-performing teams.

In this episode, Joe and Colin explore:

• Why the Sorting Hat—not Voldemort—might be the real villain of Harry Potter
• How the “lone genius” narrative hides the reality of collaboration behind breakthroughs
• What synergy really means and why structure—not speeches—is the leader’s most powerful tool
• The difference between relational trust and task-based trust, and why the latter makes teams excel
• How group norms emerge, and why they can drive both excellence and dysfunction
• Why psychological safety is about the freedom to disagree, not surface-level harmony
• How power changes leaders’ relationships with others—and why who you surround yourself with matters

Whether you’re leading a squad, running a company, or just trying to understand the groups you’re part of, this episode will change how you see teamwork—and give you tools to lead with intention.

Since his days as a professional jazz trumpet player, Dr. Colin M. Fisher has been fascinated by group dynamics. As Associate Professor of Organizations and Innovation at University College London’s School of Management, Colin’s research has uncovered the hidden processes of helping groups and teams in situations requiring creativity, improvisation, and complex decision-making. He has written about group dynamics for both popular science and management audiences, and his work has been profiled in prominent media outlets such as BBC, Forbes, NPR, and The Times. Originally from Redmond, Washington, he now lives in North London with his wife and two children.

A Special Thanks to Our Sponsors!

Veteran-founded Adyton. Step into the next generation of equipment management with Log-E by Adyton. Whether you are doing monthly inventories or preparing for deployment, Log-E is your pocket property book, giving real-time visibility into equipment status and mission readiness. Learn more about how Log-E can revolutionize your property tracking process here!

Meet ROGER Bank—a modern, digital bank built for military members, by military members. With early payday, no fees, high-yield accounts, and real support, it’s banking that gets you. Funds are FDIC insured through Citizens Bank of Edmond, so you can bank with confidence and peace of mind.