We all know what homophobia is but what exactly makes people homophobic. Yes, culture, religion, and media have historically perpetuated homophobic messages but not every person who received those messages become homophobic, and definitely not every one of those people engage in homophobic violence or actions. So what exactly makes people homophobic? That’s the question counseling psychologist and psychodynamic psychotherapist Dr. Julian-Pascal Saadi (he/him) has spent so much time exploring in his research and he’s here with us today to talk about it. Specifically, we’ll be exploring why men in particular are often perpetuators of homophobic violence, what’s happening here, and why as queer people it could be helpful for us to have this understanding. This was such a fascinating conversation for me to be in, I so appreciate Julian and his work, and for also sharing with us his own personal story which was also just so powerful.

About the guest:

Dr Julian-Pascal Saadi (he/him) is a Counselling Psychologist and Psychodynamic Psychotherapist working with the LGBTQIA+ community in Australia and the United Kingdom. He has an interest in the ways psychoanalysis can help us make sense of cultural issues and politics. His work focuses on the developmental origins of homophobia and internalised homophobia, and what this means for Queer people as they embark on their healing journeys. You can find him on Instagram at @drjulianpascalsaadi, or visit his website at www.juliansaadi.com.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

We are back after quite a pause! Our last episode was in June 2025, and host Adam James Cohen shares about the reason for the pause plus brief discussion about why we're returning now amidst everything going on in our world.

The bulk of today's episode is Adam guiding listeners who are interested in space to check-in on their queer healing journey. Adam created a FREE PDF reflection guide: "THIS QUEER YEAR: A New Year Reflection Guide for LGBTQ+ Adults Healing From Anti-Queerness" which you can download here. Today's episode is an audio companion to this guide, inviting listeners to reflect on the 6 key areas supportive of helping LGBTQ+ adults heal from the impacts of having grown up queer in an anti-queer world.

More episodes are coming soon. If you are interested in being a future guest on the show, guest submissions are currently open. Visit https://www.secondadolescencepod.com/beaguest to submit your interest!

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescence (IG)

On this week's episode we have Bella Crum (they/she). Bella is a queer and neurodivergent somatic practitioner specializing in supporting queer and neurodivergent folks. In this conversation, Bella lets us into their own journey of understanding her queerness and neurodivergence, what healing and support has been for them in this process, and what somatic work actually is and how it can help us unmask, heal, and actually feel like our most true and free selves. I SO loved learning from and connecting with Bella, and am sure you will too!

About the guest:

Bella Crum is a queer and neurodivergent somatic practitioner who helps people become friends with their past, present, and future selves and the bodies that carry them—without shame, pressure, or pretending to be someone they’re not. She blends nervous system science, identity exploration, and a handful of swear words to support folks in unmasking, healing, and actually feeling like themselves. Basically, if you’ve ever thought “Am I queer enough?” or “Why does being a person feel so hard?”—they’re your people.

Links: For free resources, coaching and to sign up for the Somatic Yes course, you can visit www.rainbowwillows.org

To find Bella on social media, search @SomethinAboutBella on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and YouTube or click directly to the links on RainbowWillows.org

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

On this week's episode we have Liz Rhea (she/her). Liz is a therapist who many folks may know on social media for her really helpful work of providing an affirming, validating, and helpful perspective about what it means to be a therapist and how folks who attend therapy can continue getting what they need out of it. So much of her therapy practice centers on support queer and trans people and people with religious trauma and that became a focus of today's conversation. Liz takes us into her own personal journey as a queer person who engaged in really meaningful deconstruction of beliefs that growing up in a conservative religious context left her with and kept her from existing fully as herself. Blending her own personal experience with her perspective and work as a therapist, Liz dropped so many nuggets of wisdom and affirmation throughout this chat!

About the guest:

Liz Rhea, MSW, LMSW is an associate licensed social worker and private practice owner in Atlanta, Georgia. Liz is a queer-identified therapist and specializes in supporting queer and trans folks, as well as folks navigating complex trauma, including religious trauma and purity culture recovery. Liz believes deeply in the utilization of reclaiming and healing within community in the therapeutic space. In addition to her work as therapist, Liz is a Founding Organizer for Let's Talk About It, a queer and trans-centered mental health training organization, and she creates content about being a chill therapist for both therapists and therapy-goers on instagram and tiktok!

Reclamation Collective: https://www.reclamationcollective.com

Let's Talk About It: https://www.letstalkaboutitcon.com

Liz's Website: https://www.lizrheatherapy.com

Tiktok: @lizrheatherapy

Insta: @lizrheatherapy

For more visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Today we have couples and relationship therapist, Tom Bruett, LMFT (he/him). Tom specializes in supporting gay men and is the author of The Go To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment (out now!). I was excited to have Tom on because I want to create more space to talk about the power and complexities of the romantic relationships we pursue in our Second Adolescence. In this conversation, we chat about a lot of the work Tom does with gay men, what couples and relationship therapy entails, how and why unaddressed trauma comes up in our relationships, how relationships can be containers for our own personal growth and healing, and so much more. I so loved getting to connect with Tom and am excited to invite you all into the chat!

About the guest:

Tom Bruett, LMFT is a therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, which provides therapy for queer folx and training for therapists who work with queer relationships. Tom has trained under Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson in the Developmental Model of Relationship Therapy, which he now trains other therapists in. His book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment will be published by Jessica Kingsley in March 2025. In his downtime, he loves theatre, travel, and collaborating with his partner to keep their rescue dog, Millie, from causing too much mischief.

Get Tom's book HERE.

You can follow Tom's work at @queerrelationshipinstitute and www.queerrelationshipinstitute.com.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

On today’s episode, we have Brandan Robertson (he/him). Brandan is known on the internet as the “TikTok Pastor,” with lots of folks tuning into his inclusive theological digital content across social media. I was curious to have Brandan come on to add to the conversation we’ve been having about queerness - I’ve gotten to speak with lots of folks whom as part of their healing have created distance between themselves and religion and God, but I’ve also heard from folks who are seeking ways to integrate their queerness with a faith as an adult. Brandan is a great resource here because he author of the forthcoming book “Queer & Christian: Reclaiming the Bible, Our Faith, and Our Place at the Table." The book and todays conversation are really about how queer folks can do just that - reclaim their faith. Even if you’re not seeking this for yourself, I found this conversation to be interesting and informative.

Pre-order Queer & Christian HERE

About the guest:

Rev. Brandan Robertson is a noted author, activist, and public theologian, dedicated to exploring the intersections of spirituality, sexuality, and social justice. He serves as the Pastor of Sunnyside Reformed Church in New York City and is the founder and Executive Director of The Devout Foundation. Known as the "TikTok Pastor," Robertson's inclusive theological content reaches over 250,000 followers and has garnered 6 million views. He has authored 23 books, including the INDIES Book of the Year finalist True Inclusion. His work has been featured in TIME Magazine, CNN, and The Washington Post. Robertson is a sought-after speaker who regularly presents at prestigious platforms like The White House and Oxford University, continuing to inspire and challenge audiences around the world. Robertson acquired a Bachelor of Arts in Pastoral Ministry and Biblical Studies from Moody Bible Institute, an Master of Theological Study from Iliff School of Theology, and an Master of Arts in Political Science and Public Administration from Eastern Illinois University. He's presently pursuing a PhD in Biblical Studies at Drew University. He currently resides in New York City.

Connect with Brandan on TikTok & Instagram

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Our guest on today’s episode is a man we’re going to call "David" - David is not his real name, he’s using a pseudonym.

We recorded this conversation about a year into his uncovering his bisexuality in his early 60s, something he started doing alongside grieving the passing of his wife of over 40 years. Prior to passing, his wife encouraged him to live a happy life when she's gone. Though she may not have been anticipating this turn, he is in a current chapter of stepping into his full self for the first time.

To ease the fear he held in pursuing gay experiences, David sought the support of male escorts as a way to ease into this world. The result has proven to be very powerful and healing, with escorts having acted as safe supports guiding him in unlocking his queerness and stepping into his Second Adolescence.

There’s definitely a nuanced conversation we all could and should have about sex work and the experience of sex workers, and that is so important, but this conversation is really about highlighting one man’s meaningful healing journey that has been aided by their support, and I am so grateful to David for offering this story to this collective work and am so honored to get to invite you all into it.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod (IG).

This week’s guest is Valerie Baker (she/they). In this episode, Valerie shares with us about her experience coming into her queerness in her 30s after growing up within a culture of religious fundamentalism. They share with us about childhood, and how due to the level of conservativeness within the fundamentalist religion she grew up within, she felt like she missed out on her first adolescence for multiple reasons. After getting married to a man and beginning to find their adult self, Valerie eventually felt the pull to pursue her interest in women and so much followed. This was such a lovely conversation, I feel SO grateful to Valerie for inviting us all into their story.

About the guest:

Valerie Baker (she/they) is a writer and creative based in North Carolina. On her Substack, Breadcrumbs, Valerie writes about being a late blooming queer woman, coming out of fundamentalist religion, and their experience finding hope and healing along that journey. You can find Valerie's Substack at valeriehart.substack.com and follow on IG @writerwithadayjob.

For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod (IG).