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Something Shiny: ADHD!

Something Shiny: ADHD!

Auteur(s): David Kessler & Isabelle Richards
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À propos de cet audio

 How many times have you tried to understand ADHD...and were left feeling more misunderstood? We get it and we're here to help you build a shiny new relationship with ADHD. We are two therapists (David Kessler & Isabelle Richards) who not only work with people with ADHD, but we also have ADHD ourselves and have been where you are. Every other week on Something Shiny, you'll hear (real) vulnerable conversations, truth bombs from the world of psychology, and have WHOA moments that leave you feeling seen, understood, and...dare we say...knowing you are something shiny, just as you are.2021 Something Shiny Productions Développement personnel Hygiène et mode de vie sain Psychologie Psychologie et santé mentale Réussite
Épisodes
  • The Self-Esteem Reframe Every ADHD Brain Needs to Hear

    The Self-Esteem Reframe Every ADHD Brain Needs to Hear
    May 6 2026

    If you have ADHD, chances are "just believe in yourself" has never quite landed. Not because you're broken, but because traditional self-esteem advice wasn't built for a brain like yours.


    In this episode, David offers a reframe that actually makes sense for neurodivergent minds: self-esteem isn't about confidence or positivity. It's about something more fundamental — the belief that you will survive what happens next. That one shift changes how you start things, why waiting to feel ready keeps you stuck, and why you can feel completely competent in one area of your life and utterly lost in another.


    Isabelle works through it live — and it gets uncomfortably specific. The kind of specific that might stop you mid-listen and make you go: oh. that's me.


    In this episode:

    • Why "believe in yourself" feels abstract or impossible for ADHD and neurodivergent brains — and why that's not on you
    • The difference between self-esteem and self-efficacy, and which one actually gets you moving
    • Why your confidence can feel solid one day and completely gone by 4pm
    • How ADHD variability makes traditional self-esteem advice quietly set you up to fail
    • Why doing something imperfectly still builds more trust in yourself than waiting until you're ready
    • Why outsourcing might actually be a self-esteem strategy — and when it isn't

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    Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:

    Albert Bandura — The psychologist behind self-efficacy theory. Shifted the conversation from "feeling good about yourself" to something more specific: your belief that you can handle a particular situation. David respectfully disagrees with part of his model. In the best way.


    Self-efficacy — Your belief that you can act and influence an outcome. The key thing: it's built through experience, not feelings. You don't have to feel ready to start building it.


    Self-esteem (reframed) — Traditionally, how you feel about yourself. David's version: the belief that you'll survive the outcome — even when things go sideways. That shift makes it possible to act without needing confidence first.


    VAST (Variable Attentional Stimulation Seeking Trait) — From ADHD 2.0 by Hallowell & Ratey. A reframe of ADHD as variability of attention rather than a deficit. Your ability to focus, engage, and follow through shifts depending on context, stimulation, and internal state. Sound familiar?


    Norepinephrine — A neurotransmitter tied to attention and alertness. More involved in your moment-to-moment sense of I can do this than most people realize.


    Metacognition — Thinking about your own thinking. Useful for understanding your patterns. Also a reliable path to an overthinking spiral at 11pm. Both things are true.


    Self-perpetuating feedback loop — When thoughts, feelings, and behaviors keep reinforcing each other. Not acting builds doubt. Acting — even imperfectly — starts building something else instead.


    Neophobic — The very human tendency to resist new things. Especially loud when there's no precedent and the stakes feel like they have no bottom.

    -------


    💬 What's something you know you're good at — but still can't quite say out loud without adding a disclaimer? Tell us in the comments.

    🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.
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    44 min
  • What Happens When You Don’t Have to Mask So Hard?

    What Happens When You Don’t Have to Mask So Hard?
    Apr 22 2026
    This week, David and Isabelle continue their conversation with Avari Brocker — Neurodiversity Alliance student advocate and founder of LearningCurb.org. Avari talks about what it felt like to go from being on her own little island to being surrounded by other neurodivergent people, and realizing (maybe for the first time) that it was actually safe to be fully herself. The group also gets into the difference between being around people who tolerate you vs. being around people who just get it. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from constantly managing yourself around other people or if you’ve ever needed a reminder that belonging is not extra, it’s foundational… this one’s for you!Here's what's coming your way:Why being around like-minded neurodivergent people can feel like coming homeA clear breakdown of what high masking feels like from the insideWhy shared experience can make it easier to stop overexplaining and start relaxingHow community can help you stand up for yourself in ways you might not otherwiseThe story behind Learning Curb and why its whole mission is rooted in accessA reminder that the things you needed most can become the very things you build for someone else -------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance: An organization that supports neurodivergent young people through leadership, mentorship, and advocacy. In this conversation, it’s also the community space where David and Isabelle first connected with Avari. Learn more at TheNDAlliance.org. Dyslexia: A learning disability that affects reading, spelling, and language processing. In this conversation, Avari talks about how meaningful it was when other dyslexic people heard her speak not just about the hard parts, but the good parts too. Dysgraphia: A learning disability that affects writing. Here, it’s part of the group of neurodivergent experiences Avari has already been advocating around and building resources for. The “curb cut” effect: The idea behind Learning Curb’s name. Curb cuts were added to sidewalks after the Americans with Disabilities Act to support wheelchair users, but they ended up helping lots of other people too — parents with strollers, skateboarders, cyclists, and delivery workers. Avari uses that as a model for education: when you lower the barrier to access for the most vulnerable people, everybody benefits. High masking: Constantly adjusting your behavior, communication, or presentation so you seem more acceptable, understandable, or “normal” to other people. Avari describes doing this in neurotypical spaces and contrasts it with the relief of not needing to do it so much in neurodivergent community. Neurospicy: A playful community term some neurodivergent people use for themselves. Isabelle uses it here while talking about the way neurospicy conversations can go from breadcrumb-level sharing to a full French dip hoagie in about two seconds. Narrative Reasoning: Avari’s phrase for the way her brain explains things through story, analogy, and comparison that other people can understand. Neurotypical: People whose brains work in ways that are more socially expected or normalized. In this conversation, Avari contrasts neurotypical spaces with neurodivergent ones, especially in terms of masking, safety, and how much self-management is required. Love bombing: A phrase Avari uses jokingly while talking about how quickly people bonded at the Neurodiversity Alliance. In context, she’s naming the relief of being able to connect intensely without immediately worrying that it’s “too much.” “English is just three languages in a trench coat”: Avari’s explanation for why English spelling is chaos, and Isabelle immediately clocks it as the best saying ever!Night Witches: The nickname given by German soldiers during World War II to the Soviet Union’s all-female 588th Night Bomber Regiment, known for flying dangerous nighttime bombing missions against Nazi forces. Isabelle brings them up as an example of the kind of fully formed special-interest tangent that can come pouring out once someone takes the bait in a neurodivergent conversation. -------💬 Have you ever found a space where you realized you didn’t have to mask so hard? Drop your story in the comments on Spotify.🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.
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    23 min
  • When “You’re Fine” Feels Like the Worst Thing to Hear

    When “You’re Fine” Feels Like the Worst Thing to Hear
    Apr 8 2026

    This week, David and Isabelle sit down with Avari Brocker — Neurodiversity Alliance student advocate and founder of Learning Curb — for a conversation about something so many neurodivergent people carry quietly for years: knowing you’re different, only seeing your deficits, and not having language for why life feels so much harder than it seems to for everyone else.

    Avari shares what it was like to be diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia at 16 after struggling for most of her life, and why the worst thing she thought she might hear was that something wasn't actually wrong. David and Isabelle unpack why that fear lands so deeply, especially for high-achieving, high-masking kids who get told they’re just too anxious or “you'll be fine” while they’re privately drowning.


    Avari also shares how that late diagnosis lit a fire under LearningCurb.org, the resource hub she built so other neurodivergent kids and families don’t have to spend a year desperately searching for answers while they’re still in the middle of struggling.


    If you’ve ever thought, “I know something’s different, but I don’t know what”… if you’ve ever worried that a label would make things worse… or if you’ve ever needed someone to say there’s a reason this has felt this hard, this one’s for you.


    Here's what's coming your way:

    • Why the label you fear can sometimes be the thing that finally brings relief
    • A powerful breakdown of what it means to grow up seeing only your deficits and not your strengths
    • Why high-masking, high-achieving kids can get missed for years
    • How research, self-understanding, and advocacy can change the trajectory of someone’s life
    • What Avari built after diagnosis — and why it matters for neurodivergent kids and families now

    -------

    Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:


    Neurodiversity Alliance: An organization that supports neurodivergent young people through leadership, mentorship, and advocacy. In this conversation, it’s also the community space where David and Isabelle first connected with Avari. Learn more at TheNDAlliance.org.


    Dyslexia: A learning disability that affects reading, spelling, and language processing. In this episode, Avari talks about finally having language for why reading and spelling had felt so hard for so long.


    Dysgraphia: A learning disability that affects writing. It can show up in handwriting, spelling, and getting thoughts onto the page. Avari references how physically hard writing tasks could be for her.


    LearningCurb.org: Avari’s resource hub for neurodivergent kids and families. She created it to give people one place to find tools, support, and information for different neurodiverse needs.


    Interconnected Thinking: Avari’s phrase for the way her brain naturally links ideas, experiences, and patterns together. She talks about this as one of her neurodivergent strengths.


    Hyperfocus: A common ADHD experience where attention gets locked onto something intensely. Avari mentions that she used to assume everyone experienced hyperfocus the way she did.


    Eye Diagnosis for Slow Tracking: A diagnosis related to how the eyes track across a page or visual field. In Avari’s case, that diagnosis helped her access extra time on tests before she later received her ADHD and dyslexia diagnoses.


    Trauma Mastery: A phrase Isabelle uses to describe the way people sometimes make meaning out of painful experiences by using what they learned to protect or help others.

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    💬 Have you ever gotten an answer or label that finally made your life make more sense? Drop your story in the comments on Spotify.

    🎧 Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.
    Voir plus Voir moins
    24 min
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