#16 – Self-Acceptance and Self-Love

The Wendy M. Johnson Show

What self-acceptance and self-love is, why they are challenging for the survivor community and often overlooked, and how you can achieve them.

What is self-acceptance and self-love? It’s accepting all aspects of who you are and understanding your worth as a person.

Abuse creates a false narrative where you might feel flawed or that something is just inherently wrong with you. And this distorted self-view is a significant barrier to self-love and self-acceptance and reaching out for help to heal.

If you feel you are inherently flawed (and this is because of the abuse), then you believe you cannot change your circumstances and are stuck forever in this cycle of a distorted belief system. The reality is the only thing that is flawed – is your belief system because it is false.

Abuse is someone taking advantage of their power over another person not because their victim is flawed, it has to do with proximity and access to you as well as arrogance, power and manipulation.

So, if you are ready to embrace who you are without judgment, accept your imperfections, and experience a balanced and healthy regard for yourself, then this episode is for you.

That’s what today’s episode is all about. So, take some ‘me’ time, put your headphones on and listen in private to a message that can help you learn how you can experience self-acceptance and self-love.

Here’s a glance at this episode…

- [3:35] Self-acceptance is recognizing and ‘accepting’ all aspects of yourself, including your strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between.

- [6:48] Self-love can give you inner peace understanding your worth is not dependent on external validation or achievements.

- [9:57] The abuse creates a false narrative where you may feel you are to blame or are just inherently flawed… The reality is the only thing that is flawed – is your belief system because it is false.

- [20:43] Changing your mindset from self-rejection and self-hatred to self-acceptance and self-love takes work and practice.

Isn’t it time you learn how to love yourself?

Listen in, get ready to take some notes, and get ready for your next breakthrough with learning about what self-acceptance and self-love are, why they are challenging for survivors, and how you can experience them!

Click here to listen!

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#15 – Parents are Protectors for our Children

The Wendy M. Johnson Show

Parents are Protectors for our Children: Parents roles, past trauma risk factors and how to protect your children

Parents are our first line of defense to protect our children, yet their past trauma can be a risk factor in the way a person parents. Knowing what you can do to protect your children is crucial in stopping the cycle of sexual abuse.

Understanding the critical role of you as a parent in preventing abuse in your children’s life is such an important privilege.

The abusive “family belief system and environment where the abuse occurred has a role in the disruption of relationships of the adult survivor. Past trauma of sexual abuse along with other types of child maltreatment, neglect, and adversities create risk factors that disrupt a mother’s ability to comfort, nurture, care for, and protect her child…The risk factor includes understanding that sexual abuse can be passed forward into the next generation, as well as the belief system that sustains it.” (1)

As parent survivors, we are the number one defense to protecting our children. Do not let your own abuse cause the cycle to continue but let it be a catalyst to stopping it.

So, what can parents do to protect their children? Get the help you need for your own healing journey, get help to protect and prevent it from happening to your children and learn to communicate clearly with your children about what abuse is and how to report about it if it happens.

That’s what today’s episode is all about. So, take some ‘me’ time, put your headphones on and listen in private to a message that can help you learn what you can do to protect your children.

Here’s a glance at this episode…

- [4:00] Parents are our children’s number one protectors against abuse

- [5:56] When you are a survivor of sexual abuse your children can become a high risk for being abused.

- [12:32] One of the risk factors stemming from childhood sexual abuse is that re-victimization to women and their children, is likely to occur when mothers continue to have a relationship or contact with the perpetrator who sexually abused them

- [20:15] As a parent you need to be a communicator. A healthy communicator.

Take your healing seriously – the next generation is counting on it.

Listen in, get ready to take some notes, and get ready for your next breakthrough with learning your role as a survivor parent, overcome sexual abuse risk factors, and learn how to protect your children!

Click here to listen!

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Episode #14 - Roadblocks for Survivors: Stigmas, Backlash, and Judgement

The Wendy M. Johnson Show

Roadblocks for Survivors: Stigmas, Backlash, and Judgment

Stigmas, backlash, and judgment hold survivors’ captive from moving forward and overcoming their past.

Stigmas have been around since the beginning of time against a victim of sexual violence.

Globally, these attitudes and beliefs perpetuate victim-blaming narratives.

Does this sound familiar? ‘What were you wearing?’ ‘Were you drinking?’ ‘Why would you make up a lie like that?’ ‘I personally know this person; he would never do that.’

These questions or comments imply that the victim's behavior or choices somehow justify or invite the abuse, placing the blame on the survivor rather than the perpetrator.

The same response has been occurring for hundreds of years. When will society’s responses ever change? I believe, one healed survivor at a time.

Stigmas are a societal creation which means it can be changed. As more and more survivors do the work to heal and not stay bound to the effects of the abuse of their past we can change and demand the narrative to change.

Why would a person blame a child for their own abuse or TELL THEM they are lying? Why wouldn’t an adult investigate beyond asking the perpetrator if they did abuse the child – which of course the perpetrator will deny.

Society is ‘lazy’ and complicit when it comes to dealing with sexual abuse. They are so worried about ‘what other people will think if there is a perpetrator in their family’ then the effects it may have on the child brave enough to speak up!

Backlash is real. I was ostracized from my family after I refused a simple bribe from my mom to keep quiet and ‘make things go back to the way they were.’ When I refused, I was ostracized, as well as lies were told to my extended family and people my parents knew.

Judgment is a fear that can last a lifetime and stop a survivor from reaching out even to trained professionals or support networks.

So, what can you do about stigmas, backlash, and judgment? You need to be able to identify what they are and how they affect you and understand there are many ways you can tear down the societal walls that hold you back.

That’s what today’s episode is all about. So, as you are going for a walk, or working out, or just having some alone time, put your headphones on and listen in private to a message that can help you overcome these societal barriers.

Here’s a glance at this episode…

- [4:37] What is a Stigma? … “Stigma is a societal creation” that involves “stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination.”

- [10:00] Self-stigma is the interpretation and internalization of negative stereotypes, which may cause negative emotional reactions, such as low-self-worth, poor self-belief, and failure to seek help

- [19:52] Backlash can manifest in various forms, such as threats, intimidation, blackmail, physical harm, or social and professional repercussions. Survivors may fear that speaking out could lead to further harm, loss of relationships, job security, or damage to their reputation.

- [34:17] Fear of being judged creates barriers to survivors coming forward and seeking support.

Take your healing seriously. Don’t find yourself in the same exact spot you are in today, next year.

Listen in, get ready to take some notes, and get ready for your next breakthrough with learning how you can overcome stigmas, backlash, and judgment.

Click here to listen!

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Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. I’m uploading new bonus episodes to the feed and, if you’re not following, there’s a good chance you’ll miss out.

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