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An uneven workload can create a troubled marriage. An uneven workload creates emotional distance, and a sense of imbalance in the partnership. When one partner consistently bears more responsibilities—whether in parenting, household tasks, or emotional labor—it can lead to feelings of being undervalued and overwhelmed. The other partner may become complacent or unaware of the imbalance, further deepening the disconnect. Over time, this dynamic erodes trust and intimacy, as the relationship feels less like a team effort and more like a burden for one person. Mutual respect and shared effort are essential for a healthy, lasting marriage built on equality and support. So, to improve your troubled marriage, balance out the workload!

#marriagehelp #saveyourmarriage #marriageadvice

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There are many tips to fight less with your partner. However, this is one you may not have heard of. It's called "sharing your tender underbelly." Anger is a secondary emotion. Therefore, what's underneath your anger is called the tender underbelly. Identifying what that is and sharing it instead of your anger can be a game changer. For starters, it's the core of what you're really feeling. Second, your partner is much more likely to respond with empathy when they hear it compared to when they feel your anger. Try it!

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Saving your marriage begins with open, honest communication. Take time to really listen to your partner without interrupting or judging. Rebuild trust by being consistent, keeping promises, and showing appreciation for each other daily. Address conflicts calmly and respectfully—focus on resolving issues, not assigning blame. Prioritize quality time together: date nights, shared hobbies, or even simple daily check-ins can reignite intimacy. Practice forgiveness and patience; every relationship faces challenges, but how you respond to them makes the difference. Reflect on what brought you together in the first place, and focus on nurturing that bond. With effort, vulnerability, and mutual commitment, it’s possible to rebuild and even strengthen your relationship. Saving a marriage takes work, but the rewards of love and partnership are worth it. In this new episode, I discuss the top three ways to save your marriage.

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🚨For my most comprehensive resource to resolve your resentments, join my ER Marriage Intensive here.

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Compatibility is often romanticized as the cornerstone of successful relationships, but it's frequently overrated. While having shared interests or similar personalities can make things easier, true connection thrives on effort, communication, and mutual growth—not just matching traits. Obsessing over compatibility can lead people to dismiss potentially great relationships just because someone doesn’t fit a checklist. In reality, no two people are perfectly aligned. Disagreements, differences, and challenges are inevitable. What matters more is how partners navigate those moments, not whether they see eye-to-eye on every issue. Growth often comes from contrast, not similarity. Compatibility might get people through the good times, but commitment, empathy, and adaptability carry them through the hard ones. Relying too heavily on the idea of compatibility can be a convenient way to avoid doing the work that real relationships demand. It’s not about finding the “right” person, but building something real with someone willing.

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🚨For my most comprehensive resource to resolve your resentments, join my ER Marriage Intensive here.

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Marriage, like any meaningful relationship, needs the right ingredients to truly thrive. At its core, successful marriage is built on a foundation of love, trust, and communication. Without trust, even the strongest love can falter under the weight of doubt and insecurity. Communication allows couples to navigate challenges, share goals, and express their feelings honestly. Respect, too, is essential—valuing each other as equals fosters a partnership where both people feel heard and appreciated. Patience and compromise help couples adapt to change and work through disagreements. Shared values and emotional support strengthen the bond, while laughter and joy keep the connection alive. Just as a great cocktail depends on the right ingredients, your marriage needs the right ingredients to thrive too. In this podcast, I give you an example from my marriage.

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Assuming negative intent in your partner can quickly erode trust and damage the foundation of a healthy relationship. When we automatically jump to conclusions or believe the worst about our partner’s words or actions, we shift from curiosity and understanding to defensiveness and blame. This mindset turns small miscommunications into larger conflicts and prevents genuine connection.

Most people act from a place of their own experiences, stress, or misunderstandings—not from a desire to hurt. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt encourages open, honest communication and fosters emotional safety. It shows respect for their intentions and reinforces that you're on the same team, not opposing sides.

Choosing to assume positive or neutral intent allows space for empathy. Instead of reacting, you can pause, ask questions, and gain clarity. This approach builds emotional resilience and deepens mutual respect. Even in moments of disagreement, you're more likely to find common ground and move forward together.

Ultimately, not assuming negative intent is an act of love, patience, and maturity. It keeps your relationship rooted in trust, allowing it to grow stronger—even through challenges. It’s not about ignoring problems but approaching them with grace rather than suspicion.

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🚨For my most comprehensive resource to resolve your resentments, join my ER Marriage Intensive here.

🛠️For my most cost effective resource to learn skills for a healthy marriage, join my TOOLS Marriage Course here.

Learning from someone with more experience is a smart decision because it accelerates personal and professional growth. Experienced individuals have already navigated challenges, made mistakes, and found solutions, allowing you to benefit from their wisdom without repeating the same errors. Their insights provide valuable shortcuts, helping you progress more efficiently.

Additionally, mentors can offer guidance tailored to real-world situations, bridging the gap between theory and practice. Learning from their successes and failures helps you develop a well-rounded perspective, improving your decision-making skills.

Their knowledge saves you time, effort, and unnecessary frustration, making your learning process more strategic and effective. By tapping into their expertise, you gain a competitive advantage and increase your chances of success in any field.

In the podcast today I interview Rhoda Sommer, who has been a couples therapist for 45 years and married for 52 years. Listen to her wisdom!

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Discerning whether your perception of your partner is true or false requires self-awareness, open communication, and a willingness to challenge assumptions. Emotions, past experiences, and personal biases can distort how you see them, leading to either idealization or unwarranted criticism. To gain clarity, observe their actions over time—consistent behavior is a stronger indicator of character than occasional words or gestures. Reflect on whether your expectations are realistic or shaped by personal fears, insecurities, or societal influences. Engaging in honest conversations about feelings, needs, and concerns can reveal whether your assumptions align with their true intentions. Seeking input from trusted friends or a counselor can also provide an objective perspective. In this episode, I cover the tendency for people to either project onto their partner things that are untrue or for the receiving partner to have blind spots about how they really are. Listen in as I discuss this tendency and what to do about it.

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