In this episode, we're joined by one of our absolute favorite authors and experts, Dr. Meg Jay, PhD. She's a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of The Defining Decade and The 20-Something Treatment, and she dives deep with us into why our 20s are such a defining time—and how many of the same principles can also empower us in midlife.

We explore identity capital, weak ties, economic uncertainty, and how to better support our 20-something children as they navigate early adulthood. If you're in your 40s or 50s and parenting adult children, or just looking to reimagine your own next chapter, this conversation is packed with validation, insight, and incredibly practical advice. You do not want to miss this one!

Episode Highlights:

[0:40] - Welcoming Dr. Meg Jay and fangirling over The Defining Decade

[3:36] - Why your 20s are the most uncertain and anxiety-filled decade

[5:53] - The myth of the carefree 20s and how financial constraints factor in

[8:17] - The stress of unstructured life after college and the reality of job-hopping

[10:12] - Identity capital: what it is and why it matters

[14:57] - Learning from jobs you don't love (hello, Rolling Stone fashion closet!)

[16:20] - How perfectionism and enabling parenting can keep 20-somethings stuck

[20:05] - The "redefining decade": applying these principles to midlife

[21:22] - The power of weak ties and how to actually use them

[24:25] - Gen Z vs Gen X: similarities, differences, and the impact of social media

[26:21] - Economic challenges and the nuance of living with your parents

[30:06] - Launching vs enabling: helping adult children become independent

[33:20] - Teaching resilience: tolerating uncertainty without pathologizing it

[34:08] - From cooking to job skills: the basics that build real confidence

[36:18] - Helping young adults recognize and activate their own agency

[38:50] - Dating intentionally: choosing your partner is choosing your family

[42:09] - Avoiding emotional entanglement before compatibility is clear

[44:57] - Trial, error, and the wisdom of approaching dating like job searching

Links & Resources:

• Dr. Meg Jay’s Website: https://megjay.com/
• Dr. Meg Jay’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmegjay

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

In this episode of Insights From the Couch, we’re diving deep into what Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) really is—and what it’s not. Forget the casual "I'm so OCD" comment—this conversation is all about the real, often misunderstood experiences of those living with this challenging and complex disorder. We're joined by two of our favorite experts: Dr. Brady Bradshaw, a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist, and Dr. Robyn Cohen, a developmental neuropsychologist. Together, we explore the many faces of OCD, from harm OCD to contamination fears, and mental compulsions that happen entirely inside someone’s mind.

We’re also pulling back the curtain on the often-overlooked aspects of OCD like the shame, stigma, and difficulty getting an accurate diagnosis. Whether you’re someone navigating OCD, a therapist wanting to learn more, or a loved one trying to understand what’s going on—this episode offers education, empathy, and evidence-based strategies for healing. Plus, we talk treatment, including exposure and response prevention (ERP), medication, and what real recovery can look like.

Episode Highlights:

[0:26] - Welcome and overview of today’s topic: the real story behind OCD
[1:31] - Meet Dr. Bradshaw and Dr. Cohen: their roles and experiences with OCD
[3:02] - What OCD actually is vs. common misconceptions
[6:10] - Breaking down the subtypes: harm, contamination, symmetry, hoarding, and more
[8:10] - Mental compulsions explained with powerful real-life examples
[11:01] - Is OCD just intense anxiety? Exploring how it's neurologically distinct
[13:20] - The overlap of OCD with ADHD, autism, trichotillomania, and body-focused repetitive behaviors
[17:42] - The diagnostic challenge: why OCD is often missed or misdiagnosed
[21:43] - What’s going on in the brain during OCD—and how treatment changes the brain
[23:44] - Living with OCD: analogies, partner dynamics, and the emotional toll
[25:27] - The gold standard: treatment options like ERP and when meds are needed
[28:19] - The importance of working with experienced ERP-trained therapists
[32:53] - Pushing the limits with exposure—and why it works
[37:50] - Naming the OCD: why it helps and how it shifts control
[39:13] - The importance of trust and creativity in therapeutic interventions
[40:07] - Relationship OCD and health anxiety—subtypes or something else?
[43:03] - How to support a loved one with OCD (without enabling compulsions)
[46:35] - Final takeaways: treatment works, and there’s real freedom on the other side
[47:36] - Where to find Dr. Bradshaw and Dr. Cohen

Links and Resources:

· Dr. Brady Bradshaw: https://www.bradybradshawmd.com/

· Dr. Robyn Cohen: https://theneurocode.com/

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]

We are beyond excited to welcome the brilliant Tonya Lester to the couch this week! As a psychotherapist, writer, and author of the new book Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself, Tonya joins us for a raw and resonant conversation about how women lose their voices in relationships, how to reclaim them, and why it’s never too late to start showing up fully for yourself.

We dig into some of the most pressing issues we see with women in midlife—emotional labor, resentment, perfectionism, and the dreaded “burned out pursuer” dynamic. Tonya shares powerful truths about why many marriages break down long before anyone leaves, what holds women back from setting boundaries, and how we can all take emotional risks to wake up to the lives we want. This is an honest, compassionate, and deeply validating episode that will leave you feeling seen, fired up, and ready to push back in all the right ways.

Episode Highlights:

[0:26] – Welcoming Tonya Lester and her powerful new book
[2:04] – From acting to therapy: Tonya’s journey into couples work
[4:28] – The repeated story of women hitting their breaking point
[7:47] – What pushback really looks like in relationships
[10:04] – Burned out pursuers: when women have nothing left to give
[13:50] – Why powerful women lose their voice in marriage
[15:34] – The “bad deal” many women are stuck in
[16:03] – Are women outgrowing men?
[17:24] – The invisible labor of “man keeping”
[18:49] – How women are penalized for assertiveness at work
[22:55] – Perfectionism: it’s not about excellence, it’s about anxiety
[27:29] – Visibility, risk-taking, and the fear of not being good enough
[30:23] – Reclaiming your life force after years of disconnection
[31:58] – Weather vane emotions: resentment, jealousy, anger
[35:52] – The long, slow process of waking up to your needs
[38:36] – What if the outcome isn’t what you hoped for?
[40:58] – Modeling empowered living for the next generation
[42:05] – Tonya’s biggest hope for readers of Push Back

Links and Resources:

• Tonya Lester’s website: https://www.tonyalester.com/
• Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself — Available on Amazon, Bookshop, and Barnes & Noble
• Psychology Today Blog: Staying Sane Inside Insanity
• Follow Tonya on Instagram: @tonyalesterpsychotherapy

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 [Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/?rdid=QDc8ryzocgFpBrbm#]