In this episode, we sit down with the incredible Katherine Woodward Thomas, and honestly—you’re going to feel this one in your bones. We dive into why so many of us do all the insight-oriented healing work, understand our trauma inside and out… and still feel stuck repeating the same patterns. Katherine helps us name the missing piece: learning how to orient toward a future self that’s bigger than our past.

Together, we explore how identity, trauma, and self-beliefs quietly shape our choices, our relationships, and our sense of what’s possible. This conversation is rich, hopeful, and deeply practical—especially if you’ve ever thought, “I know why I’m like this… so why isn’t anything changing?” Press play if you’re ready to imagine (and move toward) a different future without bypassing the real work it takes to get there.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] – We set the stage: midlife, therapy, and why insight alone isn’t always enough
[2:00] – Katherine shares her personal healing journey and what therapy couldn’t fully change
[5:45] – The power of “positive possible selves” and why the future shapes us as much as the past
[9:40] – Naming self-limiting beliefs and how trauma freezes identity
[13:10] – Source Fracture Stories: the core narratives that quietly run our lives
[17:00] – Becoming the wise, compassionate adult you didn’t have growing up
[21:30] – Shifting from victimhood to choice and personal agency
[26:00] – Opposite action, growth mindset, and doing what feels terrifying—but transformative
[31:00] – Why this work changes lives faster than insight alone
[35:00] – Conscious Uncoupling, legacy, and turning pain into contribution

Resources:

• Katherine’s website: https://katherinewoodwardthomas.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katherinewoodwardthomas/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katherinewoodwardthomas/

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

In this episode, we sit down with dating and heartbreak recovery coach Cole Zesiger for a deeply honest conversation about what really happens after a breakup—and why healing is so much harder than people want to admit. We talk about why heartbreak can feel all-consuming, how our brains are wired for attachment, and why “just move on” is some of the least helpful advice out there.

Together, we explore what it actually takes to recover after loss, rebuild a meaningful life, and create healthier relationship patterns moving forward. Whether you’re newly single, stuck in an on-again/off-again cycle, or simply wanting to understand yourself better in relationships, this conversation is packed with insight, compassion, and practical guidance that meets you where you are—without shortcuts or shame.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] – Welcome to Insights from the Couch and why heartbreak deserves real conversation
[2:10] – Meeting Cole Zesiger and how his own divorce shaped his work
[6:45] – Why rebounds “work”… until they don’t
[9:30] – The evolutionary psychology of heartbreak and why it feels unbearable
[14:50] – No contact explained: why space is necessary for healing
[18:25] – Social media, blocking vs. muting, and why tiny “hits” keep you stuck
[23:45] – Why people stay frozen in grief for years
[26:55] – Colette shares her own hard-earned lesson about no contact
[31:10] – How people actually get back together in a healthy way
[36:00] – Rebuilding your life after heartbreak: the six key areas that matter
[41:50] – Attachment styles and why we repeat the same relationship patterns
[48:00] – Forgiveness, letting go, and reclaiming your energy
[55:10] – Why healthy relationships are worth the risk, according to long-term research

Links & Resources

· Cole Zesiger on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachcolezesiger

· X’s and Knows: The Breakup Advice You Don’t Want to Hear: https://www.amazon.com/Exs-Nos-Breakup-Advice-Dont/dp/1394324138

· Cole’s Website: https://coachcolezesiger.com

If today's discussion resonated with you or sparked curiosity, please rate, follow, and share "Insights from the Couch" with others. Your support helps us reach more people and continue providing valuable insights. Here’s to finding our purposes and living a life full of meaning and joy. Stay tuned for more!

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.

College admissions have changed dramatically since we were applying—and if you’re parenting a teen right now, you probably feel that in your bones. In this episode, we talk honestly about the new reality of college admissions, why even “perfect on paper” kids aren’t guaranteed a spot anymore, and how this process has become a major source of anxiety for both parents and teens. We share personal stories from our own families and what we’re seeing every day in our therapy offices.

More importantly, we dig into how not to let college admissions take over your identity, your household, or your relationship with your child. This conversation is about perspective, mental health, cost, and helping your kids find a path that actually fits who they are—not who the culture says they should be. If you’re navigating college decisions right now (or know it’s coming), this episode is meant to ground you, calm you, and remind you that there are many roads to a good life.

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] – We introduce the episode and why college admissions have become such an emotional minefield for families.
[0:56] – Laura shares why this topic is personal and how fast admissions standards have shifted—even in just a few years.
[1:57] – Why state schools like Florida State University and University of Florida feel nearly impossible to access now.
[3:44] – Laura walks through the very different college paths of her three kids.
[4:50] – We admit our former college “snobbery” and how our perspectives have radically changed.
[5:30] – Colette reflects on her own college choices and why fit matters more than prestige.
[9:30] – The real cost of college—and how skyrocketing tuition is shaping admissions pressure.
[11:27] – Why community college and schools like University of Central Florida deserve way more respect.
[14:49] – How parental fear and identity get tangled up in kids’ college outcomes.
[17:23] – Letting go of the “one right path” myth and expanding what success can look like.
[21:33] – Supporting instead of micromanaging: being air traffic control, not the pilot.
[24:22] – Why kids aren’t always developmentally ready for college—and why that’s okay.
[27:02] – Protecting your home (and your sanity) with financial and emotional boundaries.
[28:48] – Comparison culture, social media, and why they make this process so much harder.
[30:30] – Creative, nonlinear paths: gap years, transfers, CLEP exams, and thinking differently.
[31:54] – Our reminder that there are always choices—and this is not the end of the story.

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Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day. https://www.colettejanefehr.com/new-book

🎙️ Love the podcast? Come talk about episodes with us inside The Midlife Chat. It’s a free, private community just for women at midlife who want to keep these conversations going. We’ve created this space for real talk, fresh resources, and honest connection—where you can share ideas and resources, ask questions, and get support from women navigating the same season. Come join us—we’d love to have you!

👉 Join The Midlife Chat here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/795863256460970/

Pre-order The Cost of Quiet now! Colette’s new book, The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations that Create Secure, Lasting Love, launches February 3rd. Secure your copy today and get VIP bonuses available only before launch day.