Hello Friend.

We begin by practicing returning to the breath, repeating this process over and over again. It took a long time to become so skilled at dissociating, and it will take a lot of work to reconnect with our bodies. You may find it difficult and uncomfortable. The sensation is not the ultimate goal because it is always in flux. The work here is the relationship. What relationship would we like to foster with ourselves? What would that do to how we relate to the world? As we strengthen our relationship to our self, we will see the walls of what we thought was ‘other’, start to crumble. Then we are home.

Thank you to bell hooks for showing us the turkey today, and reminding us that to move with confidence that we belong is our birthright, too.

Appalachian Elegy 47 bell hooks red beard strut strut wild turkey congregate walk in peace deciduous woodland undercover walk to mate walk to feed strut strut iridescent plumage moving harem doing a slow dance strut strut

Strut, friends. Strut.

All In Love,

Michael

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Hello Friend.

We hear it all the time: you have to let it go. Tshirts. Stanley Cups. Bumper Stickers on Cybertrucks. I even have a poster in our bathroom at Journey Home with the Buddha instructing us to “Let that s**t go.” For a culture of consumption, we are hyper-focused on letting go. But what does it look like?

We touch on it a bit this morning. I would love to read your perspective and experiences with ‘letting go’. Comment here or send me a message. If you’d like, we can arrange a voice message or invite you to join the sit live to share with us all. Reach out!

We ended today being gifted such an amazing set of lines from the poet bell hooks. Just gorgeous, really.

Appalachian Elegy 46 bell hooks overlooking water I stand at the top of the hill looking out see swans on the lake grand plumage more elegant than peacocks their presence mysterious all secrecy how came they to choose Appalachia gracing us with their vision as we climb down to be close to such beauty that it may open our hearts show us such love as to offer no turning back

to be close to such beauty…that it may…open our hearts…show us such love…as to offer…no turning back

Thank you bell hooks! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

All In Love,

Michael

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Hello Friend.

Thank you for taking the time to be here today and to tend to your breath. Today I was listening to a talk by Brother Phap Huu of Plum Village. He was talking about how he found himself burning out in last year. A monk, burning out? Well, I was intrigued because here I am, often exhausted, faltering in practice, slipping into poor diet and health habits again, and all around feeling like I am functioning on a deficit. Of course, I was chalking it up to my own failures because that is the practice I have had for a long time; shame. But if a venerated monk and abbot of a monastery can suffer from burnout, I might not be an anomaly of failure!

And, of course, I am not.

The brother spoke of how he discovered his busy mind/busy body to be the vehicle that was taking him outside of himself in his practice. Yes! I do this too! Maybe you do as well?

It did not become clear for me until I had an encounter with an actual vehicle that my understanding of my busyness is the vehicle where my consciousness rides. I was driving to the meditation hall this morning, and moving at a slower pace than normal for me. I was quite enjoying this small rebellion against the gods of ‘not enough’ when I was passed by a fast-moving truck. That is it. No negative exchange. No honking or swerving. Just another person driving a truck on their way somewhere, moving faster than I am. I felt the ping of my training into machismo ding like Pavlov’s dinner bell. “What a maniac!” Just a moment, nothing that overtook my composure, but enough of a thought that I was invited to inspect what it means to have a busy mind/busy body. I was busy with concerns about that person. I was more present in their mindset, in their intention, in their purpose (of which I know none of these things and cannot) than I was in my own enjoyment of moving slowly. This is busy mind.

So I breathed. And I sensed the breath. And I knew I was breathing. And I was back in the slowness of my vehicle, both my body and my car. Thank you practice.

Appalachian Elegy 45 bell hooks barren broken hill once a place of possibility now only remnants old glory gone heritage sullied with hate ancestors indigenous and dark held captive by soldiers and greed by bloody conquest battlefields where the dead live unclaimed not mourned histories buried forgotten lost to a world of cover-ups ghosts return to these hills to grieve cry out lamentations mourning the desecration of earthbound bodies ghosts gather here make promises of resurrection and return

Oh, this poet! bell hooks reminds us time and again that there is not outside that is not inside. To be of a place and in a place is the same thing. Today she reminded me that I am full of ghosts. Thank you poet!

All In Love,

Michael

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Hello Friend.

This morning I had the rare occurrence of waking into a state of dread and panic. I was stricken with fear and nearly paralyzed in my ability to move through the feeling. It was a gift in disguise. Because of this, I was able to inspect some language and ways of seeing my panic that I had not before, and also found that even in the most difficult of challenges, coming to my breath as a way forward was possible. Check out the sit and let me know what moves for you.

We touched on two pieces from Appalachian Elegy in today’s sit. Yesterday we had audio issues, so I revisited the piece from then and opened into the new piece right after.

Appalachian Elegy 43 bell hooks when the dawn is still almost dark I rise restless watch the morning come sly slow movement into light from shadow play an unveiling inside this dark heart a yearning to live as nature lives surrendering all Appalachian Elegy 44. bell hooks fly high dreaming bird higher and higher on the wire of time no road blocks no stopping to think through why wings flap what makes the worthy soar only this pure heaven right now sky high

Thanks for being here today, and for tending to the part of you and the part of me that is open to be received.

All In Love,

Michael

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Hello Friend.

Thanks for being here today. This practice was from earlier in the week, and I am only now getting to upload it. I am not precisely recalling what was discussed in this sit, but I do know we read number 42 of Appalachian Elegy by bell hooks.

Appalachian Elegy 42. bell hooks heavy heart as fallen snow bringing behind wet damp darkness small dreams coming true green coming from seeds planted long ago draw from this winter death courage to go on in the face of white cold see past this all-surrounding whiteness that beyond there is hope that sorrow ends

All In Love,

Michael

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Hello Friend.

It is the way we practice today that will dictate the way we respond tomorrow. This is true in so many ways in our lives. We get better at what we practice. If we spend much of our day avoiding being present, we will strengthen our ability to run away from anything. If we build our capacity to be with what is, even that which is painful, that which is suffering, the more we will be able to hold. We need our practice to be our resting place, that place we can lean on when we need balance. Can you hold your pain in love? Can you suffer in kindness? Can you be gentle today? Try breathing gently and KNOW you are breathing gently. See how that shifts.

All In Love,

Michael

Hello Friend.

On my drive into Beside Meditation Hall this morning, I was struck with curiosity surrounding the teachings of “taking refuge”. What could it even look like for me to begin to find shelter in the midst of a storm of emotions and self-doubt? Lucky for me, there are many teachers who have illuminated the murky pathways of the dark for us. Thich Nhat Hanh is one who has taught so many the teachings of the first Buddha. I turn to him often to find my own footing in the teachings through his lens. bell hooks is another.

Today the synchronicity of number 41 in Appalachian Elegy with what we are contemplating in the sit is uncanny.

Appalachian Elegy 41 bell hooks fierce unyielding winds pressing pushing against window glass trees swaying branches falling chaos warning of danger she does not want to cut them down she does not want to fear those mighty oaks standing guard for more years than can be counted strong roots sustaining life holding back the rush of time let earth testify they have the right to fall when life comes to an end to move in harmony with fate

All In Love,

Michael

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After this session, take time to listen to Thay as he talks about where to find refuge.

Hello Friend.

Today I am thinking about many things. So many caverns carved into my consciousness by streams of thought. My mind can really run amok. Even as I move form my thoughts into my body, I find that my thoughts will still gather around the sensations of my body with their own, ofttimes well crafted, narrative.

Breath through it. Find the magic in your transformation.

bell hooks take sus there in her calling forth for a ritual in part 40 of Appalachian Elegy.

Appalachian Elegy 40 bell hooks on hallowed ground I cast the circle that there may be haven for the lost refuge and sanctuary turning to the hills I place feet on steady ground letting earth hold me in praise of air I lift my hands to the heavens call down grace for blessings for anointed being turning toward water I let go remembered sins cleanse and purify burning sage I bring fire to warm and illuminate all around this body light moves a communion of gathered spirits

All In Love,

Michael

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