Dave and Milt crank the amp to 11 and count down the greatest fake bands of all time. That’s right—no chart-toppers, no world tours, no actual existence. Just the fictional bands that somehow managed to rock harder than most real ones.

We open with a little School of Rock, because if Jack Black doesn’t make your fake band list, you’re doing life wrong. From there, it’s a nostalgic jam session through cinematic and small-screen legends like The Commitments, The Blues Brothers, The Wonders, and—of course—the loudest band in England that’s not actually from England: Spinal Tap.

Along the way, we unpack listener mail (someone really had feelings about Dr. Teeth), share stories of interns who may or may not be trapped in a basement recording kazoo solos, and ask the big questions—like how many blues brothers is too many? And is Stillwater the best band that never opened for The Allman Brothers?

You’ll hear music clips, trivia drops, obscure references (you’re welcome, Christopher Guest fans), and—brace yourselves—a tease for the new Spinal Tap movie. Yes, it's happening. No, we don’t fully understand it either.

So if you’ve ever air-guitared to That Thing You Do, quoted A Mighty Wind unprompted, or shouted "Shama-lama-ding-dong" in polite company… this one’s for you.

Timestamps (for those who prefer structure in their musical mayhem): 00:00 – Welcome to Past Tens: We’re faking it today 01:25 – Listener mail: Love, hate, and one impassioned defense of Jem and the Holograms 03:38 – The countdown begins (cue dramatic VH1 voiceover) 10:25 – #10: School of Rock – Let’s rock, let’s rock… today 18:42 – #9: The Folksmen – Three-part harmony, one-part folk satire 25:06 – #8: Stillwater – It’s all happening (and surprisingly soulful) 33:11 – #7: Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem – Muppets who shred 38:26 – #6: Otis Day & the Knights – Oh yes, we do mind if you dance with our dates 45:19 – #5: The Commitments – Soul power straight outta Dublin 48:19 – Intern tales & unlicensed musical ambition 49:08 – The Commitments, part deux – We really liked this one 52:15 – Flight of the Conchords – New Zealand’s 4th most popular parody folk duo 58:20 – The Wonders – That thing they did? Still slaps 01:06:59 – The Blues Brothers – Suited up and still cool 01:11:50 – Honorable mentions: yes, Jesse & the Rippers made the cut 01:26:13 – Spinal Tap – Stonehenge, baby. Always Stonehenge 01:35:13 – Closing thoughts and shameless plugs

Are you still reading these silly show notes? Honestly, bless your heart. You're a true Time Machiner. Or you’re just really bored at work.

Anyway, on this week's episode, Dave and Milt climb into the Time Machine and rocket back to June 21, 1975 — the land of lava lamps, fringe vests, and an absolutely bonkers Billboard Top 10 Albums chart. We’re talkin’ Elton, Earth, Wind & Fire, The Beach Boys, and even Alice Cooper giving us all the Welcome-to-My-Nightmare vibes (spoiler: it’s not a lullaby).

But wait — Milt’s back from Africa! That’s right, our Chartmeister went on a literal safari. Lions. Giraffes. Possibly cursed sand. He’s got stories, and Dave is mildly concerned for his health and sanity.

Oh, and intern Jack "The Fact Machine" Nathanson drops in to host a chaotic 80s music trivia quiz that somehow leads to Warrant, Mr. Roboto, David Lee Roth, and yes, Michael Bolton co-writing a KISS song. You can't make this stuff up.

The episode ends (because it has to) with the boys politely kicking some albums off the list and replacing them with stuff they actually like. Sorry, Chicago, but y’all were in your weird phase.

🕰️ Time-Stamps for the Attention-Deficit Among Us (Click if you’re one of those “just the hits” people)

• 00:00 – We’re back, baby

• 00:41 – Milt vs. The Jungle

• 01:15 – Yes, we had tech issues again

• 05:55 – Let’s actually talk about music

• 08:03 – Pele kicks a ball in America

• 13:00 – Tobey Maguire gets older, Jaws gets scarier

• 15:45 – The main event: Albums, baby!

• 16:09 – America’s greatest hits (no, literally)

• 24:47 – The Beach Boys sell out (but in a good way)

• 31:16 – Chicago tries weird stuff

• 36:41 – BTO does more than just takin’ care of biz

• 43:19 – Doobie Brothers before the McDonald era (prepare for harmonies)

• 48:30 – TRIVIA: It gets heated

• 50:27 – Warrant, Yes, Cinderella, Idol, Roth, Bolton(?!), Wolfgang Van Halen... it’s a TRIP

• 01:01:04 – Alice Cooper makes us question bedtime

• 01:12:15 – Tommy, can you hear me?

• 01:21:03 – Paul McCartney gets interplanetary with “Venus and Mars”

• 01:28:36 – And finally, Captain Fantastic sails in like only Elton can

Dave, recording from a writer's retreat in Papoose Pond, Maine, taps into the power of music to evoke memories and tell stories. Dave engages with fellow retreat participants and listeners from the ‘Machine Nation’ community to share meaningful songs and the personal stories behind them. The episode features a variety of musical tastes—from The Cars' 'Just What I Needed' and Jay-Z’s 'Song Cry,' to Jefferson Starship’s 'Jane' and Otis Redding’s 'Sitting on the Dock of the Bay.' Each guest narrates why their selected song holds special significance, creating a rich tapestry of music-inspired memories, ranging from first breakups and nostalgic summers to family bonding moments and poignant personal reflections. Special contributions from listeners include mentions of Tracy Chapman's 'Fast Car,' The B-52's 'Deadbeat Club,' and Simple Minds’ 'Don’t You (Forget About Me).' The episode concludes with reflections on the connections between music, memories, and personal growth.

Topics

01:10 Deirdre: The Cars - Just What I Needed

05:38 Phil: Jay-Z - Song Cry

08:57 Wren: Veruca Salt - The Gospel According to St. Me

11:48 Leslie: Don Henley - Boys of Summer

14:18 Buzz: Otis Redding: Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

16:03 Otis Redding's Tragic Story

17:27 Bev: Hold My Hand by Jess Glynne

19:02 Brendan: Jane by Jefferson Starship

23:38 Beth: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

24:45 Michael Patrick Lewis: The Deadbeat Club by The B-52's

25:27 Mikey O: Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds

27:39 Professor David Gallant: What Was I Made For - Billie Eilish