Dave and Milt crank the amp to 11 and count down the greatest fake bands of all time. That’s right—no chart-toppers, no world tours, no actual existence. Just the fictional bands that somehow managed to rock harder than most real ones.

We open with a little School of Rock, because if Jack Black doesn’t make your fake band list, you’re doing life wrong. From there, it’s a nostalgic jam session through cinematic and small-screen legends like The Commitments, The Blues Brothers, The Wonders, and—of course—the loudest band in England that’s not actually from England: Spinal Tap.

Along the way, we unpack listener mail (someone really had feelings about Dr. Teeth), share stories of interns who may or may not be trapped in a basement recording kazoo solos, and ask the big questions—like how many blues brothers is too many? And is Stillwater the best band that never opened for The Allman Brothers?

You’ll hear music clips, trivia drops, obscure references (you’re welcome, Christopher Guest fans), and—brace yourselves—a tease for the new Spinal Tap movie. Yes, it's happening. No, we don’t fully understand it either.

So if you’ve ever air-guitared to That Thing You Do, quoted A Mighty Wind unprompted, or shouted "Shama-lama-ding-dong" in polite company… this one’s for you.

Timestamps (for those who prefer structure in their musical mayhem): 00:00 – Welcome to Past Tens: We’re faking it today 01:25 – Listener mail: Love, hate, and one impassioned defense of Jem and the Holograms 03:38 – The countdown begins (cue dramatic VH1 voiceover) 10:25 – #10: School of Rock – Let’s rock, let’s rock… today 18:42 – #9: The Folksmen – Three-part harmony, one-part folk satire 25:06 – #8: Stillwater – It’s all happening (and surprisingly soulful) 33:11 – #7: Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem – Muppets who shred 38:26 – #6: Otis Day & the Knights – Oh yes, we do mind if you dance with our dates 45:19 – #5: The Commitments – Soul power straight outta Dublin 48:19 – Intern tales & unlicensed musical ambition 49:08 – The Commitments, part deux – We really liked this one 52:15 – Flight of the Conchords – New Zealand’s 4th most popular parody folk duo 58:20 – The Wonders – That thing they did? Still slaps 01:06:59 – The Blues Brothers – Suited up and still cool 01:11:50 – Honorable mentions: yes, Jesse & the Rippers made the cut 01:26:13 – Spinal Tap – Stonehenge, baby. Always Stonehenge 01:35:13 – Closing thoughts and shameless plugs

Are you still reading these silly show notes? Honestly, bless your heart. You're a true Time Machiner. Or you’re just really bored at work.

Anyway, on this week's episode, Dave and Milt climb into the Time Machine and rocket back to June 21, 1975 — the land of lava lamps, fringe vests, and an absolutely bonkers Billboard Top 10 Albums chart. We’re talkin’ Elton, Earth, Wind & Fire, The Beach Boys, and even Alice Cooper giving us all the Welcome-to-My-Nightmare vibes (spoiler: it’s not a lullaby).

But wait — Milt’s back from Africa! That’s right, our Chartmeister went on a literal safari. Lions. Giraffes. Possibly cursed sand. He’s got stories, and Dave is mildly concerned for his health and sanity.

Oh, and intern Jack "The Fact Machine" Nathanson drops in to host a chaotic 80s music trivia quiz that somehow leads to Warrant, Mr. Roboto, David Lee Roth, and yes, Michael Bolton co-writing a KISS song. You can't make this stuff up.

The episode ends (because it has to) with the boys politely kicking some albums off the list and replacing them with stuff they actually like. Sorry, Chicago, but y’all were in your weird phase.

🕰️ Time-Stamps for the Attention-Deficit Among Us (Click if you’re one of those “just the hits” people)

• 00:00 – We’re back, baby

• 00:41 – Milt vs. The Jungle

• 01:15 – Yes, we had tech issues again

• 05:55 – Let’s actually talk about music

• 08:03 – Pele kicks a ball in America

• 13:00 – Tobey Maguire gets older, Jaws gets scarier

• 15:45 – The main event: Albums, baby!

• 16:09 – America’s greatest hits (no, literally)

• 24:47 – The Beach Boys sell out (but in a good way)

• 31:16 – Chicago tries weird stuff

• 36:41 – BTO does more than just takin’ care of biz

• 43:19 – Doobie Brothers before the McDonald era (prepare for harmonies)

• 48:30 – TRIVIA: It gets heated

• 50:27 – Warrant, Yes, Cinderella, Idol, Roth, Bolton(?!), Wolfgang Van Halen... it’s a TRIP

• 01:01:04 – Alice Cooper makes us question bedtime

• 01:12:15 – Tommy, can you hear me?

• 01:21:03 – Paul McCartney gets interplanetary with “Venus and Mars”

• 01:28:36 – And finally, Captain Fantastic sails in like only Elton can

Dave, recording from a writer's retreat in Papoose Pond, Maine, taps into the power of music to evoke memories and tell stories. Dave engages with fellow retreat participants and listeners from the ‘Machine Nation’ community to share meaningful songs and the personal stories behind them. The episode features a variety of musical tastes—from The Cars' 'Just What I Needed' and Jay-Z’s 'Song Cry,' to Jefferson Starship’s 'Jane' and Otis Redding’s 'Sitting on the Dock of the Bay.' Each guest narrates why their selected song holds special significance, creating a rich tapestry of music-inspired memories, ranging from first breakups and nostalgic summers to family bonding moments and poignant personal reflections. Special contributions from listeners include mentions of Tracy Chapman's 'Fast Car,' The B-52's 'Deadbeat Club,' and Simple Minds’ 'Don’t You (Forget About Me).' The episode concludes with reflections on the connections between music, memories, and personal growth.

Topics

01:10 Deirdre: The Cars - Just What I Needed

05:38 Phil: Jay-Z - Song Cry

08:57 Wren: Veruca Salt - The Gospel According to St. Me

11:48 Leslie: Don Henley - Boys of Summer

14:18 Buzz: Otis Redding: Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

16:03 Otis Redding's Tragic Story

17:27 Bev: Hold My Hand by Jess Glynne

19:02 Brendan: Jane by Jefferson Starship

23:38 Beth: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

24:45 Michael Patrick Lewis: The Deadbeat Club by The B-52's

25:27 Mikey O: Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds

27:39 Professor David Gallant: What Was I Made For - Billie Eilish

Milt is in Africa. Dave is at the beach, but just metaphorically as he counts down YOUR choices for the top 10 Beach Boys songs. RIP Brian Wilson.

In this radical episode of Past Tens: A Top 10 Time Machine, Dave and Milt hop in their DeLorean — flux capacitor fully operational — and set the date for June 16, 1984. They're not just cruising through the Billboard Top 10; they're living it like extras in Footloose.

The episode kicks off with a heartfelt and totally tubular tribute to Dave’s late father — think The Karate Kid's Mr. Miyagi, but with better dad jokes. From there, it's a parade of parachute pants, popped collars, and personal memories as they discuss the artists who ruled the airwaves: Madonna, Bruce Springsteen, Duran Duran, and Cyndi Lauper — basically the Justice League of 1984 pop.

Of course, it wouldn’t be Past Tens without a few twists. There's a Playdate Quiz that would stump even The NeverEnding Story's Atreyu, a musical mashup segment that’s more chaotic than Gremlins after midnight, and their signature song substitution game — think Indiana Jones swapping the idol for a bag of sand, but with Huey Lewis tracks.

Some highlights:

• 00:54: A heartfelt memorial for Dave’s father, complete with more heart than Kevin Bacon dancing alone in a warehouse.

• 08:33: Pop Culture Highlights: Ghostbusters hit theaters, Purple Rain was on the horizon, and nobody put Baby in a corner (yet — Dirty Dancing was still a few years away).

• 15:22: Countdown kicks off — Night Ranger’s “Sister Christian” taught us all what "motoring" really means (spoiler: it’s not what your dad thinks).

• 38:01: Musical Mashups — imagine Footloose meets Thriller but performed by the cast of Revenge of the Nerds.

• 39:22: Laura Branigan’s “Self Control” — the unofficial soundtrack to sneaking out past curfew in 1984.

• 44:54: Huey Lewis reminds everyone that the heart of rock and roll is still beating — even if it’s wearing leg warmers.

• 59:33: Steve Perry’s “Oh Sherrie,” a ballad so powerful it could get E.T. to phone home twice.

• 01:19:50: Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” — guaranteed to make even the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man misty-eyed.

• 01:23:15: Cyndi’s legendary ties to the wrestling world — she could literally have body-slammed a Goonie.

Milt also teases his upcoming trip to Africa, though we're unclear whether he’ll be traveling by Toto song or Temple of Doom bridge.

It’s a journey that’s equal parts nostalgia, musicology, and a John Hughes movie montage. Crank up your Walkman and join the ride — just don’t feed Milt after midnight.

Dave and his family count down the undisputed top 10 episodes of The Brady Bunch. Joined by his brother Adam, uncle John, and cousin Mikey, they discuss memorable appearances by guest stars like Vincent Price and Davy Jones, iconic moments such as Marcia's broken nose, and the cultural impact of the show.

Topics

00:38 Special Episode Announcement

00:58 Family Introductions

02:58 Tribute to Sol

04:50 Top 10 Brady Bunch Episodes Countdown Begins

10:50 Episode 10: A Fist Full of Reasons

16:29 Episode 9: Our Son, The Man

24:03 Episode 8: The Tiki Caves

31:31 Episode 7: Pass the Tabu

38:39 Bobby's Hero: A Disturbing Episode

41:47 The Cincinnati Kids: A Family Adventure

47:01 Marcia's Nose: A Classic Brady Moment

52:36 Time to Change: The Brady Kids Sing

59:04 Johnny Bravo: Greg's Rock Star Dream

01:06:51 Getting Davy Jones: Marsha's Idol

01:17:15 Final Thoughts and Favorite Moments

Dave and Milt explore the forgettable songs of their favorite artists, sometimes referred to as the 'worst of the best.' Joined by special guests, including Dave's brother Adam and intern Jack, the group dives into infamous tracks from icons like Billy Joel, Michael Jackson, Aerosmith, and more. Throughout the spirited discussion, they reveal personal anecdotes, defend their controversial choices, and cleanse the palate with some of each artist's more celebrated works. Topics

00:49 The Concert Mishap

04:14 Special Guests and Family Matters

06:57 Introducing the Intern

08:32 Tonight's Topic: The Worst of the Best

11:17 Dave's First Pick: Bryan Adams

17:34 Adam's First Pick: Michael Jackson

24:02 Milt's First Pick: The Beatles

29:49 Dave's Second Pick: Aerosmith

35:42 Adam's Second Pick: Billy Joel

41:28 Milt's Second Pick: Stevie Wonder

44:33 Sentimental Tacky Crap

45:02 Stevie Wonder's Musical Elements

46:29 Billy Joel's Modern Woman

50:51 Guns N' Roses' November Rain

56:42 Prince's Struggle with Rap

01:12:39 Fleetwood Mac's Little Lies

01:19:26 Queen's Misstep with Hot Space

01:29:42 Concluding Thoughts and Farewells

Milt and Dave revisit the billboard top 10 hits from May 19, 1990, a significant date marking their college graduation. The duo analyzes, critiques, and discusses the lasting impact of songs like 'Vogue' by Madonna, 'Nothing Compares 2 U' by Sinéad O'Connor, and 'Poison' by Bell Biv Devoe. They also humorously reminisce about their younger days and milestone moments while navigating the chart. Additionally, the episode includes special segments such as the 'Substitution' where each host replaces a chart song with another hit from the same period. Highlights include debates over which hits have truly stood the test of time and personal anecdotes from their college years. Don't miss this nostalgic deep dive into the music of 1990.

Topics

00:21 Cheesesteak Challenge and Jazz Fest Highlights

01:40 Public Pooping Debate

03:21 Donovan McNabb Bathroom Encounter

05:09 College Memories and Listener Shoutouts

07:04 Time Machine to 1990

16:02 Aerosmith's 'What It Takes'

23:46 Roxette's 'It Must Have Been Love'

30:09 Bell Biv DeVoe's 'Poison'

36:10 Beatles' Hidden Messages and Radio Show Scares

37:38 Bell Biv DeVoe and the 2023 Winter Classic

41:25 Calloway Brothers and Their Musical Journey

47:42 Janet Jackson's 'Alright' and Its Samples

57:04 The Worst Song We've Ever Covered

01:01:46 Wilson Phillips' Cheesy but Comforting Hit

01:07:03 Heart's Controversial Story Song

01:12:02 The Mystery of Jacob A.

01:12:32 Analyzing Iconic Lyrics

01:13:16 The Story Behind 'Nothing Compares 2 U'

01:19:39 SNL and Pop Culture Moments

01:21:41 Madonna's 'Vogue' and Its Impact

01:26:24 Top 10 Songs Recap

01:32:06 Musical Substitutions and Reflections

01:40:04 Final Thoughts and Farewell