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Forget the sprint. We’re starting the year steady, grounded, and honest about capacity. Instead of chasing a dazzling future self, we look at what’s here now- what worked, what didn’t, and how to build change that outlasts a January dopamine hit. In this episode I share why integrity beats motivation, how to regulate your nervous system in real life, and what it means to show up in the messy middle with devotion and mercy rather than perfection.

This is also your invitation to join Steady January, halfway through the month- a free broadcast channel with short love notes, somatic practices, and thoughtful prompts designed to fit into the margins of motherhood and work. No feed to keep up with, no pressure to share- just simple guidance that respects your time and energy. If you’re tired of quick fixes, you’ll hear how tiny, consistent micro-shifts compound into durable habits and a calmer baseline you can actually feel.

I'm also opening the doors to deeper support: one-on-one coaching for women who want a focused, fit-first space to metabolize stress, set aligned goals, and expand capacity without the urgency spiral. Then we dive into our spring retreat-why co-regulation is a force multiplier for healing, how workshops translate into daily life, and the joy of being well-fed, well-rested, and well-held in a room where growth is contagious. You’ll leave with tools you can use at home and a felt sense of ease that doesn’t evaporate on the tarmac.

If this resonates, join Steady January, explore coaching, or apply for the retreat while early-bird spots last. And if the podcast supports you, follow and leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify—it helps more women find a steadier way forward.

Join Steady January Here: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/steadyjanuary

Want to sneak peak the Spring Retreat: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/steadyretreat

Book an interest call here: https://calendly.com/themotherhoodmentor/exploration-call

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.

🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.

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What if survival mode saved your life, and then quietly held you back once you were safe? That's the tension we unpack with coach, veteran, and mother of five Chonda Costin, whose journey from domestic violence recovery to military service to purpose-driven coaching reveals the hidden cost of operating in crisis long after the crisis ends.

The story is raw and generous: leaving an abusive marriage, joining the military at 25 with three little girls, twin beds and hand-me-down furniture, nursing through boot camp, and the sobering calculus of choosing safety for your children while learning, much later, to choose yourself too. This is trauma healing for mothers who built everything from nothing-and now face the harder question: who am I when I'm finally safe?

We dig into how survival patterns morph into professional habits for the high-functioning woman: constant firefighting, over-functioning, perfectionism recovery that never quite lands, and defining success by boxes checked instead of a life felt. Chonda breaks down the difference between reactive living and proactive design, using the same rigor she brought to program management—risk mitigation, clear milestones, and systems that actually fit a human nervous system. This is career reinvention meets emotional capacity building.

We talk about burnout masked by accolades, the limits of strategy without somatic awareness, and why blueprints fail without the inner work to implement them. Then we go deeper: self-permission as a daily practice, community as a stabilizer for the over-functioning mom, and honest feedback as the fastest route to self-awareness when you've spent decades performing strength.

Motherhood and identity crisis run through every chapter-early years defined by survival and post-traumatic growth, parenting teens that demand new leadership, and the often ignored earthquake of empty nest syndrome.

We share practical ways to redefine success through life transitions, from evolving boundaries with your kids to business models that respect your healing journey. This is for the military mom transitioning home, the veteran mother finding purpose beyond service, and any woman navigating midlife pivot after years of putting everyone else first.

Expect a mix of hard-won wisdom and pragmatic steps for leaving corporate, reinventing yourself, and mothering through seasons: questions to spot whether work still feeds you, a simple framework to exit survival mode, and ways to align goals with values so your time feels as good as it looks on the calendar. This is raising teenagers, parenting adult children, and finding yourself again—all at once.

If you're ready to move from reactive to proactive, from crisis to clarity, this conversation offers the messy map that only you can make. This is healing from abuse that doesn't erase your strength—it redirects it.

About Chanda:

Chanda Coston is a Business Strategist, Navy Veteran, and devoted mom of five who helps women move from chaos to clarity in life and business. As the founder of Chanda Co., she guides high-capacity women, especially those in midlife transitions, t

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.

🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.

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Our bodies have unconscious patterns of responding to perceived threats that happen without conscious control, ranging from simple to complex defensive reactions.

• Fight response involves mobilizing energy against a threat with aggressive outbursts, criticism, or controlling behaviors

• Flight response means moving away from threats through anxiety, overthinking, or intellectual distancing

• Freeze response feels like "one foot on gas, one on brake" – internal activation with external immobilization

• Functional freeze allows you to operate normally while feeling detached from yourself and others

• Shutdown/collapse response creates complete disconnection, numbness, and loss of muscle tone

• Fawning response involves pleasing others while disconnecting from your authentic needs and feelings

• These responses aren't defects but natural protections that can become problematic when chronically activated

• Healing involves metabolizing these energies rather than eliminating them

• The goal is creating a nervous system that's both strong and flexible in its responses

• Understanding your default patterns helps you respond more authentically in relationships

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.

🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.