Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Everyone, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.” Today on Radical Intimacy, Zoë and Andrew sit down to discuss the concept of ‘a banquet of consequences’ and how it applies to romantic relationships. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about why Andrew thinks life is like a kitchen, why you need to “cook” with consciousness, how your romantic relationships will be affected karmically by your choices, and what it looks like to be mindful, present, and intentional. We delve into the danger of defending yourself so fiercely with your partners before discussing the importance of checking on your relationship every day instead of having a ‘set it and forget it’ mindset. Listeners are even reminded that ‘all of you is welcome,’ good and bad! Finally, our hosts stress the importance of helping each other reframe the idea of failure. To hear all this and so much more, be sure to tune in now! And if you want to hear something specific on the show, be sure to email Zoë your suggestions and requests.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Why life is a kitchen and the importance of “cooking” with consciousness.

• How these karmic concepts apply to romantic relationships.

• The importance of being intentional, present, and mindful, and how to do that.

• Why we defend ourselves, and the danger of doing so in relationships.

• The power of removing your ego and focusing on intention vs. impact.

• Why you constantly need to check in with your relationship.

• A reminder that ‘all of you is welcome!’

• Why you need to help your partner reframe the idea of failure.

Quotes:

“Our day-to-day habits and how we interact with our partner become our recipe [and] our patterns become menus.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:07:55]

“Our relationships – are a tasting menu for the growth of our soul or the lack of growth.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:08:25]

“Sometimes, [you should] stop trying to ‘do the work’ and just celebrate. Just say, “I love you!” — Zoë Kors [0:36:32]

“All of you is welcome!” — Zoë Kors [0:37:42]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Robert Louis Stevenson

Andrew Rothmund on Instagram

Zoë Kors

Zoë Kors Email Address

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book

Zoë’s Program

Zoë’s Coaching

Zoë’s Retreat

What does it mean to truly connect in a world that’s always online? In this episode of the Radical Intimacy Podcast, Zoë and her husband, Andrew, reflect on a spontaneous moment of connection that they experienced while waiting for friends that reminded them of the power of “relating off-grid.” They explore how presence, free from devices and distractions, can reignite intimacy, reset nervous systems, and strengthen the emotional bond in relationships. From the neuroscience behind dopamine hits to mindful morning rituals, Zoë and Andrew unpack how technology can shape our relational habits and offer simple, practical ways to reclaim connection, including starting your day with your partner instead of your phone. For a candid, playful, and deeply insightful take on what it means to be present with yourself and with the ones you love, tune in today!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Relating off-grid: a spontaneous moment of deep connection.

• Why presence resets the emotional energy in relationships.

• Zoë’s take on technology, productivity, and disconnection.

• Dopamine hits and the illusion of urgency.

• Simple morning rituals for grounding and intimacy.

• The power of stopping at literal and emotional stop signs.

• How mindfulness and embodiment support intimacy and connection.

• Benefits of simply noticing how often you're distracted.

• An invitation to share a quiet moment with your partner.

Quotes:

“[It] is essential for any relationship – to connect with the moment, connect with the here and now, and bring it all back to the present moment.” — Andrew Rothmund [0:22:34]

“Let the world penetrate you through your five senses. – Every human being on the planet during these times would benefit from connecting with the world around us and how it lands somatically.” — Zoë Kors [0:26:25]

“You have to surrender to ‘here we are’: two beings in bodies sharing a moment together. It’s delicious.” — Zoë Kors[0:32:29]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book

Zoë’s Program

Zoë’s Coaching

Zoë’s Retreat

What does it mean to be free? More specifically, how does freedom manifest in love? Today’s conversation with Zoë and Andrew begins with Zoë expressing her impatience with her healing process after oral surgery and her praise for Andrew for taking care of her throughout. Then, we dive into the definition of freedom and why we’ve chosen it as today’s topic before examining what freedom in a relationship looks and feels like. We also learn how to seek understanding without judgment, why curiosity matters, why Zoë and Andrew are freer now than in any of their previous relationships, and how one’s upbringing influences one’s view of freedom in a relationship. To end, we unpack the importance of being open to receiving and accepting love, and we explore self-love as the best starting point and pathway to achieving relationship freedom.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Zoë’s current state after her recent oral surgery and praise for Andrew’s attentive care.

• Defining “freedom” and why we’ve chosen it as today’s topic.

• How freedom manifests in love: what freedom in a relationship looks and feels like.

• Seeking understanding without assigning blame, looking inward, and curiosity.

• How judgment kills relationships.

• Why Zoë and Andrew feel freer in their marriage compared to previous relationships.

• Lovemaps: how upbringing influences one’s understanding of freedom in a relationship.

• Why it’s vital to be open to receiving and accepting love.

• Exploring self-love as the best preparation for freedom in a relationship.

Quotes:

“I get to enjoy the gift of giving and it’s part of my love language – and I get to see you flourish.” — Andrew [0:01:41]

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” — Zoë Kors [0:02:54]

“One of the things that I really value – is curiosity. I value a partner or a friend or conversations in which somebody is curious.” — Zoë Kors [0:10:56]

“Freedom also requires a certain level of trust.” — Zoë Kors [0:20:53]

“Sometimes, [staying in abusive relationships] it’s because people don’t know what else there is out there. They don’t know how good it could be.” — Andrew [0:26:05]

“Being loved and receiving someone’s love doesn’t mean, necessarily, that they become a burden. You’re anything but a burden.” — Zoë Kors [0:32:09]

“If you don’t love yourself, how can you allow somebody to love you? If you don’t love yourself, it’s also harder to love the other person.” — Andrew [0:35:16]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book

Zoë’s Program

Zoë’s Coaching

Zoë’s Retreat

The road to partnership isn’t always linear, especially when one of you is fiercely independent and the other is ready to settle down. In this candid season opener, Radical Intimacy returns from a three-year hiatus with a deeply honest and often hilarious conversation between Zoë Kors and her husband Andrew, who joins as co-host for the first time. You’ll hear how they met, what made their three-hour first date over tea and firelight so memorable, and why Zoë almost ended things just as they were getting good. Along the way, they reflect on what it takes to move past fear, redefine independence, and build a partnership rooted in mutual respect, curiosity, and emotional growth. Join us as we relaunch the show and set the tone for a new season of radically real conversations!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Introducing Zoë’s husband, Andrew, co-host for season two.

• The unlikely story of how they met online and started dating.

• Zoë and Andrew’s first date and the factors that made it so special.

• The importance of mutual curiosity and conversation in early dating.

• How past dating patterns and power dynamics had shaped Zoë’s expectations.

• The different places Zoë and Andrew were in when they started dating.

• How a birthday almost became a breakup (and the moment that shifted everything).

• Navigating fear of commitment, independence, and self-protection.

• The moment Zoë finally chose to stay and what made Andrew almost walk away.

• How spiritual and emotional readiness created a strong foundation for their relationship.

• Redefining partnership as a conscious choice, not a loss of freedom.

Quotes:

“I [had] spent 12 years [being] intentionally single. I would date, but I wasn't dating to find a life partner. I had really just enjoyed people's company, and the whole thing was like a big laboratory.” — Zoë Kors [0:12:17]

“The conversation was so good, I felt like I should have had a cigarette afterwards.” — Andrew [0:13:56]

“I wasn't looking to fill a hole. I did that with my Zen training and my decades and decades of spiritual journey.” — Andrew [0:30:49]

“I'm always scared of losing freedom.” — Zoë Kors [0:31:30]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book

Zoë’s Program

Zoë’s Coaching

Zoë’s Retreat

In my first solo episode of The Radical Intimacy Podcast, I read the first Chapter of my upcoming book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve. In this first chapter, "More Than Sex," I share my perspective of intimacy by drawing two important distinctions: 1. That intimacy is much more complex and dimensional than just sex. Of course, sex is one part of intimacy, but there's more. 2. That our limited understanding of intimacy has the achievement of it dependent on someone or something outside of ourselves. In actuality, the nature of intimacy is vast and readily accessible to each and every one of us individually. I also talk about my own sexless ten year marriage in my 20s, and how that set me on a lifelong exploration and understanding of all kinds of intimacy on all levels. If you like what you hear in this episode, there are thirteen more chapters and a collection of exercises and practices which will help you create the deeply connected life you desire and deserve.

BUY THE BOOK HERE

Zoë Kors’ Links:

Zoë’s Website

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

Coral: Sexual Wellness App

Welcome to another episode of the Radical Intimacy podcast! Today we are joined by licensed psychotherapist, sexuality counselor, and best-selling author, Dr. Ian Kerner to talk about sex scripts. We find out what a sex script is, exactly, and how the structure of it makes room for spontaneity in the bedroom. Dr. Kerner shares his approach to encouraging couples to rewrite their sex scripts in therapy, and what his clients typically find challenging. We discuss the power of psychological arousal, open communication, and shared fantasy, as well as the important distinction between consensual and non-consensual objectification. Furthermore, Dr. Kerner shares his insight into the damaging repercussions of pornography, and the principal differences between mainstream and ethical porn. Tune in to find out how to rewrite your sex script!

Key Points From This Episode:

• What inspired Dr. Ian Kerner to write So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex and what the title signifies, in terms of his sex therapy approach.

• What a sex script is and why it’s important to structure your sex life.

• The power of psychological arousal.

• The benefits of sexual dialogue and shared fantasy.

• What it means to have safety in a sexual relationship.

• Face-to-face psychological arousal versus side-by-side experiences.

• The ethical erotica available to us!

• How people are yet to exercise and explore their erotic imagination.

• The difference between consensual objectification and non-consensual objectification.

• The damaging repercussions of pornography.

• The difference between mainstream porn and ethical porn.

• Sex as a resource for positivity in a relationship.

• The importance of communication with yourself and your partner.


Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Dr. Ian Kerner

Dr. Ian Kerner on Twitter

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex Our Love Lives

Ian Kerner TED Talk


Zoë Kors’ Links:

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

Coral: Sexual Wellness App

There are plenty of misconceptions out there about what constitutes a sexual transgression, but the truth is that your experience doesn’t need to be violent for it to be a violation. The term sexual trauma is deliberately broad and all-encompassing and includes any non-consensual act. Yet, for many survivors, it takes them years before they can recognize that their experiences were a violation. Today on the show, we get together with Dr. Holly Richmond to help us take a closer look at sexual trauma and unpack how our minds and bodies react to these experiences. Holly is a somatic psychotherapist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a certified sex therapist. She is also the author of Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life. In our conversation with Holly, we discuss her work as a therapist, why so many of her patients have taken years to recognize and seek help for their trauma, and the reasons behind why so much of sexual trauma is tied up with feelings of shame and low self-worth. We also dive into the dissonance between our mind and body after experiencing sexual trauma, and how survivors can begin to move from a state of surviving to thriving. Today’s conversation is both hugely informative and deeply empathic. It sheds valuable light on the experiences of so many individuals and ultimately shares an empowering message of self-actualization, sex positivity, and pleasure!

Key Points From This Episode:

● The definition of sexual trauma and the importance of having an all-encompassing term.

● Why sexual trauma isn’t necessarily violent, but always non-consensual and violating.

● The role that shame and low self-worth play in repeated instances of sexual trauma.

● Why it takes many survivors years before they recognize and seek help for sexual trauma.

● The dissonance between mind and body after a traumatic event.

● How society has conditioned us to ignore our trauma in order to stay productive.

● Some of the initial steps that survivors can take in addressing their trauma.

● The four types of trauma response: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

● A definition of the lesser-known response fawn, and why it’s described as 'freeze with a smile on your face'.

● The distinction between surviving and thriving, and the role that pleasure plays in thriving.

● The role of eroticism and sexual fantasy and how that can be nourishing and healthy.

● How Holly’s book addresses issues around sexual fantasy, trauma, and integration.

● Holly’s advice on how to find a sex-positive therapist.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Dr. Holly Richmond

Holly Richmond on LinkedIn

Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex-Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life

The American Association of Sexuality, Educators, Counselors, and Therapists

Zoë Kors’ Links:

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

Coral: Sexual Wellness App

When we are trauma-bonded, it's nearly impossible to see the truth. By design, isolation and self-doubt are an intrinsic part of a trauma bond, which is why it's so hard to extract ourselves from the patterns of toxicity and abuse. Today’s guest on the Radical Intimacy Podcast is Kate Anthony, host of the critically acclaimed New York Times-recommended podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, and creator of the groundbreaking online coaching program, Should I Stay or Should I Go? in which she helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. Kate empowers women to find their strength, passion, and confidence, even in the most disempowering of circumstances, helping them move forward with concrete plans and see that they can put their children at the center of their decisions, not in the middle. In this episode, we talk about trauma bonding, an emotional attachment formed by a cycle of abuse, devaluation, and positive reinforcement, and how to break free.

Key Points From This Episode:

· The physiological and emotional addictions inherent in trauma bonding.

· Some questions to ask yourself to determine if you’re in an abusive relationship.

· Understanding the difference between narcissists and abusers.

· Kate highlights the trauma bond in the story of Beauty and the Beast.

· What Kate believes the ‘men’s movement’ is missing: women’s voices and doing the work.

· How trauma bonds go both ways and the difference between ‘reaction abuse’ and trauma.

· How your childhood trauma informs your chances of ending up in an abusive relationship.

· Find out why Kate believes that abusers can’t change.

· The first step you can take to get out of an abusive relationship: educate yourself!

· The value of finding a therapist or coach who specializes in emotional abuse recovery.

· Kate’s advice for victims of abuse: remember how many times this has happened.

· What to do if you are the victim of physical violence and where you can get help.

· Tips for survivors of an abusive relationship: do the Self-recovery work.

· The importance of going where the energy feels good; where feels like home?

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kate Anthony

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Program

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Facebook Group

Kate Anthony on Twitter

Kate Anthony on instagram

Kate Anthony on TikTok

Why Does He Do That?

The Good Men Project

Am I the Abuser? with Rhian Lockard

Zoë Kors’ Links:

Zoë’s Website

Zoë’s Book: Radical Intimacy

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

Coral: Sexual Wellness App


Resources:

National Domestic Violence Hotline