In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, we dive deep into the impact of the "silent father" archetype on men’s emotional and sexual health. We reflect on how having an emotionally distant or stoic father often shapes sons’ ability to understand and express their feelings, and we share some of our own experiences as well as what we’ve seen in our clients. We talk about the ways this dynamic can lead to struggles with emotional awareness, difficulties in relationships, and even compulsive behaviors later in life.

We also look at why these patterns repeat across generations and discuss the confusing family messages that so many of us received growing up about emotions and vulnerability. Throughout the episode, we emphasize the importance of starting small—just noticing your feelings—and being patient with yourself as you develop new emotional skills, even if it feels awkward at first. We even touch on how partners can support each other through this process.

This conversation is personal, honest, and packed with insights for anyone looking to better understand the effects of father-son dynamics and how to start healing and breaking those cycles.

Timestamps

00:00 Impact of the Silent Father

04:46 Silent Dads, Silent Emotions

08:01 Traditional Male Problem-Solving Methods

11:52 Reflecting on Masculine Emotional Resistance

14:06 Family Image and Secrecy

18:26 High School Sneak Out Drama

20:22 Impact of Upbringing on Adulthood

25:00 Emotional Suppression and Addiction Cycle

27:54 Emotional Disconnect in Relationships

29:57 Emotional Awareness Post-Crisis

33:45 Parental Emotional Disconnect

36:36 "Embrace Noticing and Trying"

40:21 Parenting and Emotional Growth Analogy

43:26 Podcast Disclaimer: Informational Use Only

LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Music from #Uppbeat free for Creators!):⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/new-life⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠License code: 0SWIN8YAF7EIY6YI

In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman dive into Step 4 of their eight-step recovery model: defining the real problem behind compulsive sexual behaviors like porn use. They emphasize that while porn might seem like the core issue, it’s actually a symptom of deeper emotional needs—such as a lack of affirmation, respect, or validation—that aren’t being met in healthy ways. The conversation explores how therapists help clients uncover these underlying issues by looking for themes in their personal histories and recurring emotional patterns. Jose and Dr. Hinman share insights on the challenges men face in identifying their “why,” including resistance to change, never having reflected on their motivations before, and societal habits of compartmentalizing problems. The episode ends with practical advice for those struggling to define their core issues, encouraging gentle self-reflection and curiosity to find healthier coping mechanisms rather than relying on porn or other destructive habits.

Eight Step Model viewable PDF⁠

https://shorturl.at/MDJUC

Timestamps:

00:00 "Defining the Problem: Step 4"

06:27 Identifying and Addressing Needs

07:08 Life's Bird's Eye View Insights

11:43 Resistance to Change

15:49 Identifying Roots of Conflict

18:35 Reflect on Past to Heal Future

22:34 "Understanding and Disassembling Coping Mechanisms"

24:57 Overcoming Negative Behaviors

27:09 Personalized Coping Mechanism Discovery

33:41 Introspective Coping Without Unhealthy Habits

36:04 "Be Your Own Detective"

LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Music from #Uppbeat free for Creators!):⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/new-life⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠License code: 0SWIN8YAF7EIY6YI

In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman break down what to expect during your first visit to a sex therapist. They discuss common anxieties and misconceptions—like embarrassment, fear of judgment, or not knowing what sex therapists actually do—and reassure listeners that sex therapy is professional, confidential, and supportive.

The conversation covers what typically happens in a first session (mostly talking, no physical exams!), the range of issues sex therapists help with (from desire differences and dysfunction to infidelity and sexual identity concerns), and practical tips on how to prepare. Above all, they encourage listeners to feel comfortable seeking help early and highlight the importance of honesty, openness, and humor in the therapeutic process.

Timestamps

00:00 First Sex Therapy Visit Guide

04:59 Lack of Sex Therapy Education

07:03 Talking Openly About Sex

12:41 Therapy Avoidance Phenomenon

15:07 Confidentiality and Honesty Encouraged

18:16 Problem Identification and Solutions Collaboration

20:32 Unique Challenges in Sex Therapy

25:08 Misconceptions About Sex Therapy

27:09 Define Therapy Goals

32:18 Restoring Lightness in Relationships

33:18 Lightening Awkward Conversations

38:06 Sex Therapy Insurance Coverage

42:07 Detached Perspective on Sex Therapy

43:20 "Wet Dreams Podcast Disclaimer"

⁠⁠LinkTree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Music from #Uppbeat free for Creators!):⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://uppbeat.io/t/moire/new-life⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠License code: 0SWIN8YAF7EIY6YI