In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, we dive deep into the impact of the "silent father" archetype on men’s emotional and sexual health. We reflect on how having an emotionally distant or stoic father often shapes sons’ ability to understand and express their feelings, and we share some of our own experiences as well as what we’ve seen in our clients. We talk about the ways this dynamic can lead to struggles with emotional awareness, difficulties in relationships, and even compulsive behaviors later in life.

We also look at why these patterns repeat across generations and discuss the confusing family messages that so many of us received growing up about emotions and vulnerability. Throughout the episode, we emphasize the importance of starting small—just noticing your feelings—and being patient with yourself as you develop new emotional skills, even if it feels awkward at first. We even touch on how partners can support each other through this process.

This conversation is personal, honest, and packed with insights for anyone looking to better understand the effects of father-son dynamics and how to start healing and breaking those cycles.

Timestamps

00:00 Impact of the Silent Father

04:46 Silent Dads, Silent Emotions

08:01 Traditional Male Problem-Solving Methods

11:52 Reflecting on Masculine Emotional Resistance

14:06 Family Image and Secrecy

18:26 High School Sneak Out Drama

20:22 Impact of Upbringing on Adulthood

25:00 Emotional Suppression and Addiction Cycle

27:54 Emotional Disconnect in Relationships

29:57 Emotional Awareness Post-Crisis

33:45 Parental Emotional Disconnect

36:36 "Embrace Noticing and Trying"

40:21 Parenting and Emotional Growth Analogy

43:26 Podcast Disclaimer: Informational Use Only

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman dive into Step 4 of their eight-step recovery model: defining the real problem behind compulsive sexual behaviors like porn use. They emphasize that while porn might seem like the core issue, it’s actually a symptom of deeper emotional needs—such as a lack of affirmation, respect, or validation—that aren’t being met in healthy ways. The conversation explores how therapists help clients uncover these underlying issues by looking for themes in their personal histories and recurring emotional patterns. Jose and Dr. Hinman share insights on the challenges men face in identifying their “why,” including resistance to change, never having reflected on their motivations before, and societal habits of compartmentalizing problems. The episode ends with practical advice for those struggling to define their core issues, encouraging gentle self-reflection and curiosity to find healthier coping mechanisms rather than relying on porn or other destructive habits.

Eight Step Model viewable PDF⁠

https://shorturl.at/MDJUC

Timestamps:

00:00 "Defining the Problem: Step 4"

06:27 Identifying and Addressing Needs

07:08 Life's Bird's Eye View Insights

11:43 Resistance to Change

15:49 Identifying Roots of Conflict

18:35 Reflect on Past to Heal Future

22:34 "Understanding and Disassembling Coping Mechanisms"

24:57 Overcoming Negative Behaviors

27:09 Personalized Coping Mechanism Discovery

33:41 Introspective Coping Without Unhealthy Habits

36:04 "Be Your Own Detective"

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman break down what to expect during your first visit to a sex therapist. They discuss common anxieties and misconceptions—like embarrassment, fear of judgment, or not knowing what sex therapists actually do—and reassure listeners that sex therapy is professional, confidential, and supportive.

The conversation covers what typically happens in a first session (mostly talking, no physical exams!), the range of issues sex therapists help with (from desire differences and dysfunction to infidelity and sexual identity concerns), and practical tips on how to prepare. Above all, they encourage listeners to feel comfortable seeking help early and highlight the importance of honesty, openness, and humor in the therapeutic process.

Timestamps

00:00 First Sex Therapy Visit Guide

04:59 Lack of Sex Therapy Education

07:03 Talking Openly About Sex

12:41 Therapy Avoidance Phenomenon

15:07 Confidentiality and Honesty Encouraged

18:16 Problem Identification and Solutions Collaboration

20:32 Unique Challenges in Sex Therapy

25:08 Misconceptions About Sex Therapy

27:09 Define Therapy Goals

32:18 Restoring Lightness in Relationships

33:18 Lightening Awkward Conversations

38:06 Sex Therapy Insurance Coverage

42:07 Detached Perspective on Sex Therapy

43:20 "Wet Dreams Podcast Disclaimer"

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, Jose and Brad get real about divorce—how messy, confusing, and emotionally tough it can be, especially for guys. They talk about everything from couples using divorce as a threat, to the weird “should we/shouldn’t we?” dynamic around sex during and after splitting up. The hosts dive into how divorce can seriously mess with a guy's sexual confidence, self-worth, and even lead to things like erectile dysfunction, especially when jumping into new relationships too soon.

They also tackle the myth of staying together “for the kids” (spoiler: the kids almost always know what's up), and remind listeners that it’s way more important to work on yourself, figure out what went wrong, and give yourself time before diving into something new. There’s a lot of honesty here—about heartbreak, confusion, and healing—and the big message is: don’t go it alone. Therapy, reflection, and reaching out for support can make a massive difference when you’re picking up the pieces after a divorce. If you’re in the thick of it or just coming out the other side, this episode is a comforting, no-judgment look at how to move forward with a little more clarity and self-compassion.

Timestamps

00:00 "Divorce and Sexual Health"

06:18 Sex During Imminent Divorce

07:44 Confusing Intimacy and Relationship Status

13:03 Divorce: Men's Sexual Self-Esteem

16:14 Sex, Relationships, and Emotional Confusion

18:40 Misconceptions After Relationships End

20:53 Fear of Vulnerability and Intimacy

23:40 "Double Heartbreak Reflection"

28:49 "Relationships Complicated by Kids"

32:40 Kids Sense Troubled Relationships

34:56 Triggers in New Relationships

37:30 Post-Divorce Therapy Guidance

40:21 Divorce and Sexual Health Strategies

43:42 Self-Reflection for Personal Growth

47:53 "Growth Through Divorce Challenges"

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman dive into the topic of men experiencing lower libido than their partners—an issue they note is more common than people might think. They discuss the emotional challenges men face, such as feelings of shame, fear of rejection, and worries about not living up to societal expectations regarding masculinity and sexual desire. The conversation covers various factors that can impact male libido, including stress, mental health, medications, sleep habits, and relationship dynamics.

Jose and Dr. Hinman also explore how comparison—whether through social media, friends, or unrealistic cultural narratives—can create added pressure and dissatisfaction. They tackle the misconception that men should always be ready for sex and highlight the importance of open communication between partners. The episode concludes with practical advice for men, emphasizing the value of emotional connection, taking personal responsibility for one’s sexual experiences, and seeking support when needed.

Whether you’ve found yourself questioning your own libido or are supporting a partner through this experience, this episode offers validation, insight, and actionable tips for navigating sexual desire and fostering healthier relationships.

Timestamps

00:00 Addressing Lower Male Libido

03:47 Male Compartmentalization Myth

07:33 "Stress, Sex, and Personal Relief"

11:17 Rejection Anxiety in Relationships

15:56 Newness vs. Monotony in Desire

19:08 Porn, Masturbation, and Sexual Desire

22:43 "Importance of Open Communication"

25:35 Enhancing Desire Through Connection

26:43 Owning Your Sexual Desire

31:51 Wet Dreams Podcast Disclaimer

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman discuss STEP 3 of their eight-step recovery model for addressing out-of-control sexual behavior—"Progression." Building on previous steps (creating distance from the behavior and examining sexual history), they dive into understanding the ups and downs of sexual behavior over time. They explore why it's crucial to identify periods of high and low use, examine what circumstances contributed to those patterns, and discuss the importance of recognizing escalation or tolerance in behavior. The conversation highlights the value of looking beyond surface-level triggers to understand the underlying reasons and needs driving the behavior, while also emphasizing the importance of focusing on healthy coping mechanisms and not falling into shame. The episode is practical, encouraging listeners to reflect deeply on their own patterns and to recognize hope and personal agency in their recovery process.

Eight Step Model viewable PDF⁠⁠

https://shorturl.at/MDJUC

Timestamps

00:00 Behavioral Reset and History Analysis

03:58 Addiction: Understanding Progression

08:20 "Internal vs. External Influences"

10:18 "Coping with Life's Challenges"

13:59 Empowering Control Over Life Choices

16:58 "Building Emotional Depth"

19:39 Reflect on Internet Usage Patterns

23:04 Extracurricular Sexual Activity's Impact

27:12 Escalation of Content Tolerance

29:19 Assessing Progression in Relationships

32:28 Cycle of Addiction Explained

35:54 Finding Lessons in Life's Challenges

39:22 Revisiting Past Efforts for Success

44:02 "Client Empowerment in Next Steps"

46:27 Wet Dreams Podcast Disclaimer

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In this insightful episode of the Wet Dreams Podcast, hosts Jose Gonzalez and Dr. Brad Hinman delve into the widespread issue of erectile dysfunction (ED), exploring its causes, effects, and potential solutions. The discussion highlights how ED is increasingly becoming a concern for younger men, not just older demographics. By examining both biological and psychological aspects, the hosts aim to shed light on why this condition is prevalent and its multifaceted impact on men’s lives.

Throughout the episode, Gonzalez and Hinman emphasize the complex interplay between mental health and sexual performance. They discuss various causes of erectile dysfunction, ranging from medical and physiological issues to emotional and relational stressors. By sharing experiences from their practice, they provide valuable insights into the importance of addressing both the physical and mental health dimensions of ED. Listeners are encouraged to consider holistic approaches to treatment, such as consulting with medical professionals and exploring therapy for underlying psychological issues. This episode is crucial for anyone seeking to understand or manage erectile dysfunction more effectively.

Timestamps

0:29 Understanding Erectile Dysfunction in Younger Men

8:38 Substance Effects on Sexual Performance and Mental Components

11:48 Understanding Erectile Dysfunction and Its Psychological Factors

19:44 Body Image and Its Impact on Male Erectile Dysfunction

25:12 The Impact of Sexual Trauma on Intimacy and Relationships

27:41 Complex Problem-Solving Requires Patience and Multiple Solutions

30:01 Exploring Erectile Dysfunction and Its Impact on Relationships

36:10 Applying Work Logic to Food and Life Decisions

37:00 Training Techniques for Improving Erection Quality

41:36 Mindfulness and Mental Health in Sexual Function

44:53 Discussing Erectile Dysfunction and Seeking Professional Advice

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, we talk openly about what dads really go through during pregnancy and those early months of fatherhood. We shared our personal stories, highlighting the excitement, anxiety, and even feelings of being left out that often come with the territory.

We discussed how easy it is for men to ignore their own emotions while focusing on providing for their family—something that can lead to isolation or unhealthy coping if left unchecked. Both of us emphasized the importance of communicating, not only with your partner but also with other dads who’ve been there, and having a plan to take care of your own mental health.

Ultimately, we encouraged expectant fathers to stay engaged, reach out for support, and not to bottle up what they’re feeling during this huge transition. If you have questions or want to share your own experiences, we’d love to hear from you!

Timestamps00:00 Preparing for Fatherhood Discussion

05:58 Fathers' Financial Concerns and Childcare

06:56 Task-Oriented vs. Emotional Support

12:51 Coping Through Withdrawal and Focus

14:04 Vulnerability to Acting Out

17:10 Planning for Success in Challenging Times

20:41 Unaddressed Attraction Issues Ruin Marriage

23:35 New Fatherhood: The Need for Mentorship

28:34 "Importance of Relationship Building"

32:58 Expressing Men's Hidden Emotions

34:22 Scary Birth Experience Concerns

40:03 Bonding Essentials for New Parents

41:27 Navigating Parenting Routines

44:46 The Importance of Support Systems

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