Epic Fantasy Humor

R. K. Billiau presents book three in the PrimeVerse series.

Self-proclaimed conqueror Auroro and his contracted guide, Rynissie, have hit the road. They have had a simple errand (read: most important task) entrusted to them and are heading to the cave-elf city of Cerulean-in-the-Mountain.... Or at least that was the plan. Auroro has decided to be efficient. They're going to do some jobs along the way and make some money! Sounds simple enough, right? Unfortunately, things are not normal in the forests of Viridia.

Milton Frederick was arguably the best player of Crowned Lieges of Destiny in the entire world. As the strategy coordinator for one of the top guilds, he was beginning to actually make a living from it. That was, until he was abducted by aliens. Severely damaged and confused about what happened to him, he woke up to find himself trapped inside a massive chicken egg on a strange, primitive world filled with curious - and deadly - creatures. Now, in order to survive, Milton has to rely on a snarky, foul-mouthed AI guide to show him what it means to be a Station Core.

Sharing a beer with Death - one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - really put a few things into perspective for this foul-mouthed, billionaire wizard. Like finally getting the stones to propose to his girlfriend. But the Brothers Grimm - legendary supernatural assassins - have escaped their prison, and the number one thing they want after their centuries-long incarceration is Nate Temple’s head. With the entire wedding party also on their hit list and the Temple family fortune in jeopardy, Nate realizes they can’t run and they can’t hide. So, time to do magic and stuff.

The ancient pact between mankind, heaven, and hell has been broken, and Nate Temple’s quest for vengeance may have just kicked off Armageddon. So, time to grab a stiff drink…or maybe four. Already plagued with night terrors that could qualify him as a card-carrying insomniac, Nate can barely even manage to put on his pants in the morning, let alone pick teams for the Apocalypse. But when he’s framed as a demon sympathizer, condemned by the Armies of Heaven, and hunted down by both his allies and the Four Horsemen, this wizard doesn’t think it can get any worse.

Nate is losing that last finger hold on his sanity: hallucinating and talking to creatures no one else can see. The demon inside of him is fighting for dominance, and only one of them can survive. But when Nate's extorted to rescue a chimera child from the Beast Master’s circus, his only option is to partner with his inner demon, risking his very soul. With allies turned enemies, the fae breathing down his neck, and a dangerous child’s life on the line, Nate must call upon new storybook legends to save his traitorous friends from becoming the Beast Master’s next victims.

Murland Kadabra has always dreamed of becoming a great wizard. However, at age 19, the young apprentice has yet to successfully cast a single spell. He has been reduced to grounds keeper of Abra Tower, and has become the laughing stock of the wizarding school. But when the Most High Wizard Kazimir chooses him to be one of the five Champions of the Dragon, Murland's life changes forever.

Pix just wants to hunt monsters, craft armor, and pay off her college loans. Her partner Jaz does too. She just wants to pet the monsters more. While wearing impractical hot pants armor. And wielding a sword so massive she needs magic gems to carry it.

Jaron and Bren are a pair of roguish adventurers only hoping for one big score. Unfortunately, things never work out that easy. Whether facing packs of hungry goblins, armies of marauding orcs, malevolent cults, or even the mythical Galackin, the odds always seem to be stacked against this intrepid duo. This is a collection of 10 fantasy flash fiction stories, each with a comedic bent. Fans of the Discworld will enjoy the situational humor, while lovers of traditional fantasy will enjoy seeing common fantasy tropes in a different light.

In the spirit of Flashman, and in the inimitable George MacDonald Fraser style, comes a rousing story of prize fighting in the 19th century. Reissued in a stunning new package, Black Ajax will attract a new generation of fans. When Captain Buck Flashman sees the black boxer catch a fly in midflight, he realizes that he is in the presence of speed such as the prize ring has never seen.

An evil wizard has a midlife crisis. Is trying to sacrifice your estranged wife to a bloodthirsty demon an irredeemable act of evil? This is the sort of question the Dread Wizard Darruk Darkbringer struggles with. After being called evil one too many times, Darruk sets off to find a new purpose in his life and become a beloved celebrity. Can a dark wizard come to terms with himself and prove to the world that a few atrocities don’t define who he is? You’ll feel guilty for laughing at his twisted tale of self-discovery.

Van Vanyushin doesn't see the point in ever leaving the beautiful digital world of the game he loves - and for good reason. In the industrial wasteland he calls home, it is often the only way people can experience life's simplest pleasures. But his allegiance to the game is tested when an ambitious CIA agent named Sang Ngo calls upon him to help as she goes undercover in the game to investigate Draco - the corporation responsible for creating the massively popular role-playing game Dragon Kings of the New World.

The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.

After serving with Keane to save Greenshade, the cowardly, illusion-making runecrafter Morholt leads a group of mercenaries on a mission to save the women from his past. His one rule: No killing. But after a terrible accident leaves one of Sarah’s oldest friends dead in the Sedrian jungle, the unstoppable Hill Fury pursues Morholt relentlessly across the Thirteen Kingdoms. Because the renewed Temple of the Sky is trying to murder all those with the sacrilegious runecrafting ability, Sarah requests their help. But soon Sarah must decide who her true enemies are.

With the blood of a Dragon on his hands, Anuka Sandbar and his friends flee from the horde of Dragons hunting them. Desperate for a weapon to use against the Dragons, Anuka assembles a band of professional thieves and thugs to infiltrate a secret dungeon.

Now that they have an employer - one who is a princess, no less - Mishap's Heroes can look forward to a nice, steady gig smack in the middle of the most civilized city in Southglen. No more running around, scrambling after petty villains. Or so they thought. Vola and the others barely make it to the city before they learn there's treason afoot, and as the Dagger Throne's new problem-solvers, Mishap's Heroes had better come up with a plan quick, before enemies of the Throne take a bite out of the princess's power. Unfortunately, it's not just traitors they have to worry about.

Sylvalla escapes Avondale castle and the life of a princess, in search of the adventure she’s always wanted. Once found, adventure bites back. Fortunately, she's not alone. Unfortunately, her new-found companions are less than heroic. A quirky and original fantasy, Quest has everything - heroes, monsters, chases, escapes, and a complete lack of true love. Become a student of magic today, and discover the true fighter, warrior, and most un-princess-like Princess Sylvalla, as she battles for her place as a hero!

Introducing the Wixy Witches, this tale of many tales is an allegory like Alice or Oz, lampooning fairytales, the fantasy genre, and status brands. Set in the early fifteenth century, the orphaned Wixy quintuplets evade Florence’s witch hunters, as alchemist Bolinbard Hargmond flees plague with his wife and son Rebicus, heading for Draxenland, an island kingdom in the North Sea.

Daniel's Anleitung zum vorzeitigen Ruhestand. Fange einen illegalen Geldtransfer vom Mafiaboss ab. Verstecke dich im super exklusiven Full Immersion Virtual Reality Spiel, bis die Jagd nachläßt. Würfle einen Barden. Maximiere Charisma. Lotterleben. Profitieren. Nachdem die ganze lästige Planung erledigt war, machte sich Daniel daran, seinen ultimativen Traum zu verwirklichen: Genug Geld zu verdienen, um eine tropische Insel zu kaufen und seine Tage mit Geige spielen und RPGs zu verbringen. Was könnte da schon schiefgehen?

Richard L. Pastore offers up a lighthearted rendition of the original tale of Perseus, complete with gods and gorgons. The story begins with Acrisius, king of Argos, discovering he will have a grandson who is predestined to kill him. That child, Perseus, reaches adulthood and with the aid of two gods embarks on a quest taking him to the edges of the ancient Hellenic world.