Humorous Fiction Family

Now that Septimus, Jenna, and Beetle are 14 years old, they have assumed larger roles in their Magykal world. Beetle is the Chief Hermetic Scribe of the Manuscriptorium and Jenna will soon be Queen, but Septimus is still battling the remnants of the Darke Domaine, which will remain until the power of the evil Two-Faced Ring is destroyed forever. To accomplish that, the ancient Alchemie Fyre must be relit - a task that sends Septimus to the very origins of Magyk and Physik.

In this third Alcatraz adventure, Alcatraz Smedry has made it to the Free Kingdoms at last. Unfortunately, so have the evil Librarians—including his mother! Now Alcatraz has to find a traitor among the Knights of Crystallia, make up with his estranged father, and save one of the last bastions of the Free Kingdoms from the Evil Librarians.

In this fifth book in the Magykal series, Septimus ends up on a captivatingly beautiful island, one of seven set in a sparkling sea. He's stranded there with his badly injured dragon, Spit Fyre, along with Jenna and Beetle. There are some strange things about the island, including a Magykal girl named Syrah, a cat-shaped lighthouse that has lost its Light, and an eerie presence that sings to Septimus - can he escape the persistent call?

A story of prejudice and acceptance, funny lists and silly words, this new book has all the hallmarks of David’s previous best sellers. Our hero Ben is bored beyond belief after he is made to stay at his grandma’s house. She’s the boringest grandma ever: all she wants to do is to play Scrabble and eat cabbage soup. But there are two things Ben doesn’t know about his grandma.

Big sister Beezus Quimby tries to be patient with her four-year-old little sister, Ramona, but it isn't easy, not when Ramona powders her nose with marshmallows and invites her nursery school class to a party without telling her family. Sometimes Beezus doesn't like Ramona, but the girls are sisters and that means they will always love each other - just not every single minute.

National Book Awards Audiobook of the Year 2014. From number one bestselling author David Walliams comes another heartfelt but hilarious hoot of an adventure. Stella Saxby is the sole heir to Saxby Hall. But awful Aunt Alberta and her giant owl will stop at nothing to get it from her. Luckily Stella has a secret - and slightly spooky - weapon up her sleeve....

Eleven year-old Peter Lee has one goal in life: to become a paleontologist. Okay, maybe two: to get his genius kid sister, L.B., to leave him alone. But his summer falls apart when his real-life dinosaur expedition turns out to be a bust, and he watches his dreams go up in a cloud of asthma-inducing dust.

Find out just how odd things get in this hilarious story of time travel and breakfast cereal, expertly told by Newbery Medalist and best-selling author Neil Gaiman.

Ben is getting used to life without his beloved granny. She was a cabbage enthusiast, a Scrabble partner...and an international jewel thief known as the Black Cat. Now, only the memory of their extraordinary adventure to steal the Crown Jewels lives on. Then something inexplicable happens. World-famous treasures are stolen in the dead of night and the clues point to none other than...the Black Cat? Expect the unexpected in this adventure, which will have listeners on the edge of their seats as they join Ben on his quest to unravel the mystery of the return of the Black Cat.

The audio edition of the best-selling middle grade novel about a spunky girl born without arms and a boy with Tourette syndrome navigating the challenges of middle school, disability, and friendship - all while solving a mystery in a western theme park. Aven Green loves to tell people that she lost her arms in an alligator wrestling match, or a wildfire in Tanzania, but the truth is that she was born without them.

Of especially naughty children, it is sometimes said: “They must have been raised by wolves.” The Incorrigible children actually were. Discovered in the forests of Ashton Place, the Incorrigibles are no ordinary children: Alexander keeps his siblings in line with gentle nips; Cassiopeia has a bark that is (usually) worse than her bite; and Beowulf is alarmingly adept at chasing squirrels.

Sheldon convinces Lucy, Sam, April, and Amanda to join him at a weeklong sleepaway summer camp - Camp Paleo: Live Like a Caveman. Like cavemen, they're going to have to make do without air-conditioning or a heated pool. They'll learn archery and dig for fossils. And Grandma's coming, too; she's taking a job as lunch lady for the camp next door.

When Silas Heap unseals a forgotten room in the palace, he releases the ghost of a queen who lived 500 years earlier. Queen Etheldredda is as awful in death as she was in life, and she's still up to no good. Her diabolical plan to give herself everlasting life requires Jenna's compliance, Septimus' disappearance, and the talents of her son, Marcellus Pye, a famous alchemist and physician.

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put down this audio instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet.

You are presumably looking here for clues to the shocking conclusion of this terminal audiobook, or the ending of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope.

Growing up in an orphanage, Leila was bullied for being different. She turned her hardship into skill by becoming an escape artist - a valuable trait when belonging to a group of magical best friends. But when a famous psychic comes to town, Leila and her pals won't be able to escape the big mystery heading their way. Whether chasing mad monkeys or banishing ghosts from haunted hotels, these six friends will do their best to keep Mineral Wells safe - but can they still protect themselves in the process?

Ruth loves her super soft, cushy-wushy pink pajamas and wants to wear them to school. Her mom knows it's a bad idea, but Ruth doesn't listen. Ruth soon learns her lesson and realizes her mom was right all along.

In its heyday, The Golden Hotel was the crown jewel of the hotter-than-hot Catskills vacation scene. For more than sixty years, the Goldman and Weingold families - best friends and business partners - have presided over this glamorous resort which served as a second home for well-heeled guests and celebrities. But the Catskills are not what they used to be - and neither is the relationship between the Goldmans and the Weingolds.

Holy unanticipated occurrences! It begins, as the best superhero stories do, with a tragic accident that has unexpected consequences. The squirrel never saw the vacuum cleaner coming, but self-described cynic Flora Belle Buckman, who has read every issue of the comic book Terrible Things Can Happen to You!, is the just the right person to step in and save him. What neither can predict is that Ulysses (the squirrel) has been born anew, with powers of strength, flight, and misspelled poetry - and that Flora will be changed too.