Humorous Fiction Family

In the sixth book of the Magykal series, Alther Mella has been banished, a Darke Domaine engulfs the Castle, and a Darke dragon is on the loose. Septimus Heap must use all of his skills to save the Castle and the Wizard Tower from destruction: He must enter the Darke. But he cannot do this alone....

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating", and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further. This carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odor.

Ramona's job is to be nice to fussy Mrs. Kemp, who watches her while her mother works. If Mrs. Quimby didn't work, Mr. Quimby couldn't return to college. On top of all that, third grade isn't turning out as Ramona expected, even though she enjoys her class's new reading program, D.E.A.R. Danny the Yard Ape teases her, and, on one horrible day, she throws up - at school. Being eight isn't easy, but it's never dull!

Paddington is in charge of the 'eyetinnery', and, as Mrs Bird mutters darkly, 'There's no knowing where we might end up.' But Paddington is planning some very good holiday 'doings' indeed for the Browns. And he even becomes the only bear ever to ride in the famous Tour de France bicycle race!

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't.

“Something good” is exactly what Tyya, Andrew and Julie want to put into their shopping cart. Tyya’s dad won’t buy anything good at the store—no ice cream, no candy, no cookies. But when the saleslady puts a price sticker on Tyya’s nose, Daddy is finally forced to buy something good.

Nobody in their right minds would listen to this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay at the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded on this program.

The second book in the classic Just William series, read by Martin Jarvis. It was on Christmas Day that the centipede appeared on Aunt Evangeline's plate, the library clock was found mysteriously dismantled, and the conjuring trick with the egg went disastrously wrong. But as William's Aunt Lucy told him, 'A Busy Day is a Happy Day' - and William is always eager to please adults. The terror of the Brown family is back, leaving a trail of havoc behind him - with the very best of intentions.

Lord Fredrick Ashton may not feel ready to be a father, but with a little Ashton on the way he's sure about one thing: The wolfish curse on his family must end soon, before the child is born. Penelope willingly takes on the challenge; when Lady Constance's doctor prescribes a seaside holiday, Penelope jumps at the chance to take the three Incorrigible children to Brighton, where she hopes to persuade the old sailor Pudge to reveal what he knows about the Ashton curse.

Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director. What’s more, my father is in town, working at a bar, which is obviously just a cover for our father-son crime-fighting partnership. And my dimwitted polar bear business partner, Total, wants to be reunited with his family.

Coke and Pepsi McDonald didn’t want to jump off a cliff. They didn't want to get hit by poisoned darts from blowguns either. And they certainly don't want to get locked in their burning school, thrown into a pit at the top of a sand dune, or drowned in a vat of liquefied Spam. But what are you supposed to do when you’re being chased across the country by your insane health teacher and two guys in bowler hats who are trying to kill you? One thing's for sure, it'll be a snap for Coke and Pep to write their essays on "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

In rural North Carolina, in 1951, despite parental reassurances, a typhoid shot hurt. It hurt even more when the children saw who would be administering the shot: Miss Winnie, a large, dictatorial nurse who had been "especially built by the nursing school so she would never blow away in a hard wind".

Speed and self-confidence, that’s Astrid’s motto. Nicknamed “the little thunderbolt,” she loves to spend her days racing down the hillside on her sled, singing loudly as she goes, and visiting Gunnvald, her grumpy, septuagenarian best friend and godfather, who makes hot chocolate from real chocolate bars. She just wishes there were other children to share her hair-raising adventures with. But Astrid’s world is about to be turned upside down by two startling arrivals to the village of Glimmerdal: first a new family, then a mysterious, towering woman who everyone seems to know.

Regardless of how they pass their time while at a hotel, the three siblings will be sure to take in all the interesting sights and sounds, and write them down, just in case this episode turns out to be the darkest yet in a series of unfortunate events.

If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and this one may be the worst of them all.

In this infectious rhyming book, Baby Llama turns bedtime into an all-out llama drama! Tucked into bed by his mama, Baby Llama immediately starts worrying when she goes downstairs, and his soft whimpers turn to hollers when she doesn't come right back. But just in time, Mama returns to set things right. Children will relate to Baby Llama's need for comfort, as much as parents will appreciate Mama Llama's reassuring message.

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle is back with a brand-new bundle of wonderfully magical cures for any bad habit - from watching too much TV, to picky eating to fear of trying new things. With a little help from her pets, Wag the dog, Lightfoot the cat, Lester the pig, and a trunk full of magnificent powders and potions, she can solve any problem big or small.

As the youngest in her family, Dory really wants attention; and more than anything, she wants her brother and sister to play with her. But she's too much of a baby for them, so she's left to her own devices - including her wild imagination and untiring energy. Her siblings may roll their eyes at her childish games, but Dory has lots of things to do: outsmarting the monsters all over the house, escaping from prison (aka time-out), and exacting revenge on her sister's favorite doll.