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Secure Love

Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

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Create a lasting and loving attachment with this national bestseller, a “must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) from the expert couple’s therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?

The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment theory has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it’s also the closest science has come to making sense of our adult romantic connections.

In this book Julie Menanno, the expert behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, tackles:
-Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it’s called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
-“Instead of that, say this” suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in your relationship more effectively.
-The four attachment types, with exercises to understand you and your partner’s attachment style.
-How to improve communication, including staying connected during conflict by prioritizing vulnerability rather than protecting yourself.
-Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple’s sex life and how to ignite that sexual connection.

Secure Love is a crash course in understanding how you show up in a relationship and guides you on getting out of negative cycles to find safety in one another. In doing so, “you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship” (Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and bestselling author of Hold Me Tight) and establish a secure attachment with your partner to create the bond you’ve been longing for.
Love & Romance Marriage Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Romance Mental Health
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Highly recommend this book to improve communication and the quality of your connections! She provides very useful practical examples that could be easily applied to different situations.

Practical examples

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well written. this book is one everyone that has a relationship with anyone, romantic or not, should read. very healthy way of communicating and I can't recommend this book enough. this is a re-read book for sure

most helpful book i have read in years

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Thanks for providing one of the best couples therapy tools available today, beneficial even for secure couples. "Secure Love" serves as the perfect manual for EFT therapists and coaches, helping couples understand the deeper issues at play.

I find that it wonderfully complements the Gottman protocol. I now recommend this book to all my clients.

Bravo!
Marie-Claire Thauvette
Relationship Bliss

Best Book for all Couples

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I loved the examples of how to apply the principles without being prescriptive but rather descriptive

Very practical and applied

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When I started this book, I didn’t realize it was for couples. I initially just had an interest in attachment styles and learning about myself but boy am I glad I read this book.

When I started this book I had just entered a relationship with a wonderful person but I was bringing a lot of my emotional shame and insecurities into the relationship. After reading this book we’re not perfect but I can see myself getting better everyday and making better choices in my relationship. I’m able to self regulate better and co regulating with my partner is also getting easier.

This book has inspired me to continue reading and learning about how to understand myself and others in a non judgemental way.

Please read this book even if you don’t think you need to. Because it just might surprise you.

I feel more secure

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