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The Gardener and the Carpenter

What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

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The Gardener and the Carpenter

Written by: Alison Gopnik
Narrated by: Erin Bennett
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About this listen

Caring deeply about our children is part of what makes us human. Yet the thing we call "parenting" is a surprisingly new invention. In the past 30 years, the concept of parenting and the multibillion-dollar industry surrounding it have transformed child care into obsessive, controlling, and goal-oriented labor intended to create a particular kind of child and therefore a particular kind of adult.

In The Gardener and the Carpenter, pioneering developmental psychologist and philosopher Alison Gopnik argues that the familiar 21st-century picture of parents and children is profoundly wrong - it's not just based on bad science, it's bad for kids and parents, too. Drawing on the study of human evolution and her own cutting-edge scientific research into how children learn, Gopnik shows that although caring for children is profoundly important, it is not a matter of shaping them to turn out a particular way. Children are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful and imaginative, and very different both from their parents and from each other. The variability and flexibility of childhood lets them innovate, create, and survive in an unpredictable world. "Parenting" won't make children learn - but caring parents let children learn by creating secure, loving environments.

©2016 Alison Gopnik (P)2016 Audible, Inc. Parenting & Families Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Child Development

What the critics say

"Narrator Erin Bennett commendably presents this unique audiobook on raising children. Alison Gopnik, an expert on children's development, lambasts the current style of parenting, which she calls the 'carpenter method' because it relies on an established blueprint (as in making a chair) to produce a successful but predictable child who also excels at test taking. Gopnik prefers the 'gardener approach,' which gives the child love, encouragement, and freedom to play and imagine, which she says results in a more creativity. Bennett's delivery of Gopnik's passionate argument is appealing and easy to understand. She also captures Gopnik's subtle humor and supporting quotes from experts. The moving conclusion comes full circle as it discusses end-of-life commitments that adult children have to their elderly parents." ( AudioFile Magazine)
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Most relevant  
An sensitive and insightful account of what it means, and how to be, a parent and grandparent.

Both informative and poetic!

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This is by far one the best reads in my life
It is a window on humanity, this is not a guide on how to raise children but rather a window on why we raise children and what does that mean anyway
Not to say this understanding doesn't help but to say this book is about understanding and letting you decide what to do
The early chapter on parenthood was great but the chapters on diagnosing ADHD and children ability to focus was a life saver for me, then finally comes the chapter on digital devices, I literally wanted to stand up, applaud and find the author to give her a thank you hug. Finally I realized and with good reasoning this time that I was not very wrong after all. And no..it is not what you expect bug I won't spoil it.
I honestly think if you are not a parent this book will still give you a lot of value.
Finally the narrator was so good at one point I was almost convinced she was the author! And that is the best thing I can say to any audio book. Bravo

Much more than hild psychology

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agreed wiTh Aysha. lots of research not many link back on how to parenting instead. the theme of the book is parenting is not a model so no suggestions on any specific. my take away is parenting through being there with the children and for children, provide lots of opportunities to explore and experience new things with children together

academic report type of book

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Not what I expected at all, Mostly this book was just giving you the research. I kept waiting for it to share insights about the relationships between parents and children, the whole but what does it all mean? Left with my question then answers and a somewhat better understanding of the author identifying as a free love hippy then of how raising my child a certain way affects their development or not. However lots of the research mentioned was interesting and has me thinking about the state of child rearing currently in fashion.

still waiting for the punch line

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