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The Gardener and the Carpenter
- What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
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The Gardener and the Carpenter
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Publisher's Summary
Caring deeply about our children is part of what makes us human. Yet the thing we call "parenting" is a surprisingly new invention. In the past 30 years, the concept of parenting and the multibillion-dollar industry surrounding it have transformed child care into obsessive, controlling, and goal-oriented labor intended to create a particular kind of child and therefore a particular kind of adult.
In The Gardener and the Carpenter, pioneering developmental psychologist and philosopher Alison Gopnik argues that the familiar 21st-century picture of parents and children is profoundly wrong - it's not just based on bad science, it's bad for kids and parents, too. Drawing on the study of human evolution and her own cutting-edge scientific research into how children learn, Gopnik shows that although caring for children is profoundly important, it is not a matter of shaping them to turn out a particular way. Children are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful and imaginative, and very different both from their parents and from each other. The variability and flexibility of childhood lets them innovate, create, and survive in an unpredictable world. "Parenting" won't make children learn - but caring parents let children learn by creating secure, loving environments.
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Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- KENT CONOVER
- 2023-08-10
Both informative and poetic!
An sensitive and insightful account of what it means, and how to be, a parent and grandparent.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Charlene123
- 2022-08-16
academic report type of book
agreed wiTh Aysha. lots of research not many link back on how to parenting instead. the theme of the book is parenting is not a model so no suggestions on any specific. my take away is parenting through being there with the children and for children, provide lots of opportunities to explore and experience new things with children together
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ahmed Khalifa
- 2018-08-07
Much more than hild psychology
This is by far one the best reads in my life
It is a window on humanity, this is not a guide on how to raise children but rather a window on why we raise children and what does that mean anyway
Not to say this understanding doesn't help but to say this book is about understanding and letting you decide what to do
The early chapter on parenthood was great but the chapters on diagnosing ADHD and children ability to focus was a life saver for me, then finally comes the chapter on digital devices, I literally wanted to stand up, applaud and find the author to give her a thank you hug. Finally I realized and with good reasoning this time that I was not very wrong after all. And no..it is not what you expect bug I won't spoil it.
I honestly think if you are not a parent this book will still give you a lot of value.
Finally the narrator was so good at one point I was almost convinced she was the author! And that is the best thing I can say to any audio book. Bravo
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Aysha Clark
- 2018-02-08
still waiting for the punch line
Not what I expected at all, Mostly this book was just giving you the research. I kept waiting for it to share insights about the relationships between parents and children, the whole but what does it all mean? Left with my question then answers and a somewhat better understanding of the author identifying as a free love hippy then of how raising my child a certain way affects their development or not. However lots of the research mentioned was interesting and has me thinking about the state of child rearing currently in fashion.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Brian
- 2019-03-11
Too much blathering
Bought this one for a road trip, needed something my wife and I could listen to while driving. It was less about raising kids and more about the social and evolutionary development of parents and families (lots of examples about primates). This was not what we were looking for. I don't care why crows care for their young longer than other birds, I want to know how to get my son to stop whacking his sister with toy cars. We probably will not finish this one.
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6 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- See Reverse
- 2017-01-18
Stop Parenting and Be a Parent
Would you listen to The Gardener and the Carpenter again? Why?
Yes - the book makes a strong case for being a parent to your children rather than parenting them toward your own specific end. It's definitely a message to hear and appreciate more than once.
Who was your favorite character and why?
The author talks about her experience as a grandmother throughout the book, which is a nice backdrop to the scientific understanding of the parent-child relationship.
What does Erin Bennett bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Erin conveys some of the coy remarks well - I'm not sure they would have stood out as clearly in the text.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I like this book in snippets - listening all in one sitting wouldn't do it justice.
Any additional comments?
Alison Gopnik is quoted so frequently in other books. It was nice to hear her voice directly - she has a wisdom about her work that other authors miss entirely.
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6 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Chris
- 2016-11-19
Great book about modern parenting misconceptions
Really great book that takes you through historical and traditional child rearing ideals to modern day misunderstandings. It was an enlightening read on how childrens' brains develop and how wrong our traditional ideas of this are. It's a very short book but touches on many examples and interesting view points. It had a good flow but not many action points to take away, except that I feel I need to read more about the subject!
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Thandi Lamprecht
- 2016-10-29
Fascinating
Best book in the genre I've "read". Fascinating and entertaining from start to finish. I highly rec
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- MoonOwl
- 2016-10-23
Equal parts science and wisdom
The best chapter is the last one, in which Alison Gopnik weaves together the science of child development with philosophy and policy making.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Wayne A. Hall
- 2017-05-11
An important work
Any additional comments?
This is the best book on child development I have seen. Much of what is practice today is based on faulty assumptions and this includes the experts who are working from disproved models that are 50 years old.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Juanita A. Smith
- 2019-10-16
Not a fan of this book.
I was required to read this book for work. While there are some thought provoking ideas in this book, I did not agree with a majority of the content (i.e. her stance on evolution) therefore her way at looking at the research provided was unfounded, for me, on that basis. To be frank, I would have stopped reading the book after the first few pages if I could have.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Mummus
- 2019-09-22
Not a practical read for implementing
I could not get through this book. There is very little practical takeaway information here. I kept waiting and nothing... Sadly, it was not for me.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- joseph
- 2017-03-26
A Scientific Explanation of the Love Between Parents and Children
This is probably the most useless book that I have ever read. If you can imagine an alien coming to earth and observing the intense love that parents have for their children and being completely unable to identify with that feeling. The alien then tries to prove scientifically that this love exist, and that caring for children is a valid endeavor (even though the alien cannot explain why). If the airline then tried to publish its findings it would be a lot like this book. If you ask me, an 8 hour audio book trying to scientifically prove that parents love children and caring for them is a valid endeavor is a foolish waste of time. I don't know who this book would interest.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- The Wicked Parson
- 2017-03-07
Always love Gopnik. This book was right up there.
At some level this book felt so much more personal. I have always loved the author's "reporting" on the latest discoveries. So, coming across a book where she opens up her soul, so to speak, was welcomed & refreshing! it was nice to hear that even a grandparent research scientist is ..... still a grandparent. This was a most enjoyable read.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Rod R
- 2021-08-27
Beautiful book
The book is amazing, very up to date insight on neurological development in relation to children.
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