Episodes

  • Footballland Trailer
    Oct 19 2020

    Come help us build the world's first football theme park, Footballland!


    Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given 1 Billion US Dollars by the state of Qatar, to build the world's first football theme park in Qatar, to be ready in time for World Cup 2022. Unfortunately, Anthony has never built a theme park before, so he's enlisted the help of his friend and colleague Mark Davison. Unfortunately, Mark Davison has no experience of building theme parks either, but by this point it's too late to give the money back, as they've spent some of it on a new laptop and a really nice pen.


    Every week Anthony and Mark will plan out their football theme park and take ideas and ride designs from special guests including comedians, footballers, musicans and journalists, none of whom have any experience building theme parks.


    Come join us at Footballland! "Our Goal Is Your Dreams!" "Where Dreams Are Kicked About!" "Come In And Kick The Magic!" "The Beautiful Game (Park)!" "Come Score Some Pleasure!"

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    2 mins
  • S01 E01 | Jimmy Conrad's Conrad3000 | Footballland
    Oct 27 2020

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

    Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


    FOOTBALLLAND EP 1 - Featuring Special Guest Jimmy Conrad!


    RIDES DESIGNED - The Conrad3000, The Leicester City Fairytale Ride, The Tunnel Of Vagner/Donald Love.


    After Anthony accidentally receives $1 Billion from Qatar to build the world's first football theme park in time for the World Cup in 2022, he names himself CEO, gives Mark Davison the title Chief Ride Engineer and rents an office somewhere in Winchester.


    The boys have a very short time window to design this park but thankfully they've enlisted the help of former USA defender Jimmy Conrad, who's from California and therefore has an extensive knowledge of theme park culture. Sadly, the discussion with Jimmy doesn't go to plan.


    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    31 mins
  • S01 E02 | Marek Larwood's Football Hunger Games | Footballland
    Nov 3 2020

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

    Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


    FOOTBALLLAND EP 2 - Featuring Special Guest Marek Larwood.


    RIDES DESIGNED - The Football Hunger Games, Steve 'Mechanical' Bull


    After Anthony accidentally receives $1 Billion from Qatar to build the world's first football theme park in time for the World Cup in 2022, he names himself CEO, gives Mark Davison the title Chief Ride Engineer and rents an office somewhere in Winchester.


    In today's meeting Mark proposes four separate Footballland theme tunes, Anthony introduces his ride Steve 'Mechanical' Bull and comedian Marek Larwood pitches his exhibit 'The Football Hunger Games', in which a selection of former 'hard-men' footballers fight to the death for the park visitors' amusement.

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    32 mins
  • S01 E03 | Giggsy's Garden and Sir Alex Ferguson's Mindgames | Footballland
    Nov 10 2020

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

    Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


    FOOTBALLLAND EP 3 - Featuring Special Guest Nim Odedra


    RIDES DESIGNED - The 'Betrayal Monorail' with Giggsy's Garden, plus The Sir Alex Ferguson Mindgames Experience


    After Anthony accidentally receives $1 Billion from Qatar to build the world's first football theme park in time for the World Cup in 2022, he names himself CEO, gives Mark Davison the title Chief Ride Engineer and rents an office somewhere in Winchester.


    This week Mark dreams up a giant Sir Alex Ferguson shaped head in which park guests are psychologically tortured, plus special guest Nim Odedra brings us an important piece of infrastructure - the monorail. However, like all rides at Footballland, this has a weird twist.

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    27 mins
  • S01 E04 | Asscoffiation Noshball - Footballland's Exciting New Restaurant | Footballland
    Nov 17 2020

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

    Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


    Footballland Episode 4 - Introducing Footballland's premier dining experience: Asscoffiation Noshball!


    That is a play on words of 'Association Football.' It's nothing to do with 'scoffing ass' or 'noshing off balls.'


    This restaurant features a multi-course tasting menu which leads football fans on a culinary adventure from the invention of the game in the 19th century to the present day! Eat the foods footballers would have eaten, from full meat roasts in the 1880s, to fish and chips, bitter, then lager, then another lager, then healthy carbohydrates in the 90s all the way to a Skittles Vodka aperitif! Are those rumbling stomachs we can hear?




    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    33 mins
  • S01 E05 | Eggsy's School Sports Simulator | Footballland
    Nov 24 2020

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

    https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


    FOOTBALLLAND Ep 5 - Feat Eggsy From Goldie Lookin' Chain


    Eggsy popped into Footballand HQ this week to pitch his Westworld-style ride idea - The School Sports Football Simulator. Relive your schooldays on Footballland's state-of-the-art muddy football pitch, complete with overbearing PE teacher and gigantic 'bigger boys,' all while the weather simulator chucks down sleeting rain and freezes your nuts off. Paying to have a terrible time? It's the British way!


    Plus Anthony and Mark bring us the Steve Kabba-ret, the Premier League dinner entertainment show! It features the Dele Dancers, Ian Rush's remote controlled moustache, and Bryan Robson's Escape The Drop. Careful he doesn't get his hair in your soup!



    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    35 mins
  • S01 E06 | Paul Dummett's Meat & Potato Funfair | Footballland
    Dec 1 2020

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

    https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


    FOOTBALLLAND Ep 6 - Feat Pete Donaldson


    Roll Up! Roll Up! Come join Pete Donaldson as he pitches a brand new carnival sideshow at Footballland - Paul Dummett's Meat & Potato Funfair! The fair includes Gazza's Hook a Duck, The Drink Driving Dodgems and Steve McClaren whispering accents in your ear from around the world!


    This week is also our first Public Consultation Special. Due to the terms of our Patreon, we're contractually obliged to discuss ride ideas from our backers, and discuss them we do! Proposals include Cristiano Ronaldo's Hall of Mirrors and Nigel De Jong's Clog Flume.


    Footballland is really starting to come on as a theme park, and we can't wait for you to get inside it.

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    29 mins
  • S01 E07 | Hasta La Vista Cantona! | Footballland
    Dec 8 2020

    Support our Show! https://supporter.acast.com/footballland

    Exclusive Car Park Naming Rights https://www.patreon.com/TheFootballland


    In another successful and productive meeting, we welcome two more rides to the world's first football themed theme park!


    This week Mark Davison brings us his vision of The Squeaky Bumtime Arena, Footballland's stadium, which is shaped like a bottom. Also we welcome comedians The Delightful Sausage, who bring to the park their Westworld-style experiential ride, Hasta La Vista Cantona. 

    And finally, may we introduce our newest employee at Footballland, Ryan Baxter (intern). Ryan's job is to iron out any logistical problems that might arise with the new development. His first job is to agree a deal with Leicester Cathedral for the bones of King Richard III.


    Footballland Explained:


    Anthony Richardson has accidentally been given $1 billion dollars by Qatar to build a football-themed theme park in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup. He and Mark Davison (Chief Ride Engineer) are in a race against the clock to design and commission the most exciting football theme park rides in the history of amusements.

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/footballland.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Show more Show less
    26 mins