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The upcoach podcast

Written by: Todd Herman
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  • Summary

  • Every great coach needs to grow their coaching skills and their business, but very few have the time or patience to sift through bad content. Join award-winning coach, Todd Herman, as he introduces you to ideas, methods, and people to help you succeed in the modern coaching world. And you’ll get it all in 20 minutes or less! One idea before your coffee is done. At upcoach.com we’re building a modern transformation platform for coaches to simplify their business, and wow their clients. So this podcast is our way to help even more great people like you, make a positive impact in the world.
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Episodes
  • 22. The Charisma Quotient Unleashed: Unveiling Confidence with Kimmy Seltzer

    22. The Charisma Quotient Unleashed: Unveiling Confidence with Kimmy Seltzer
    Mar 11 2024
    Confidence is just one word: experience.In this engaging episode of the upcoach podcast, host Todd Herman welcomes Kimmy Seltzer, a renowned confidence and dating coach, and an ex-therapist turned into a transformative guide for those venturing back into the dating scene. Kimmy, with her rich background in therapy and a unique outside-in approach to confidence and dating, shares her profound insights and heartwarming success stories that not only entertain but also inspire.Kimmy delves into the importance of appearance and body language as the quickest gateway to internal confidence. She introduces listeners to her Charisma Quotient formula, emphasizing "style intelligence" as a foundational step towards building confidence. This innovative approach advocates for a symbiotic relationship between one's outer presentation and inner self-esteem, challenging traditional therapy methods by prioritizing action and experiential learning over analysis.The episode illuminates Kimmy's personal journey from a therapist to a coach, highlighting her transformative moment with a simple red dress that sparked her mission to help others find confidence and love from the outside in. She shares captivating stories from her coaching experiences, including powerful transformations achieved through wardrobe changes, flirt workshops, and the strategic gamification of dating skills.Kimmy's work stands out for its focus on practical, tactical advice and the creation of real-world experiences that lead to genuine self-discovery and growth. She champions the idea that confidence is a skill that can be developed through practice and experience, offering hope and actionable strategies to those feeling lost in the dating world. Explore the possibilities that open up when you begin to align your external presence with your internal desires.Episode Quotes:What is confidence?I define confidence differently than a lot of people. In my workshop, I'll say, "Well, how do you define confidence?" And I have a list of all these things that people embody and say, "Oh, as someone who stands straight and someone who walks tall," or whatever it is. But at the end of the day, confidence is just one word and that's “experience”. End of story. It is. Like, I don't believe there's one person out there that's not confident. It's just that they, A, haven't had positive exposure to it, right? Or they haven't had experience around it at all. And so how do you get it? You do it. And I mean, I make it sound so simple, but in all my programs, I'm gamifying all my skills constantly. Like instead of saying, "Oh, just go out and flirt." It's like, well, let's just start with making eye contact with three guys a day for two weeks. It's like the gym, right? Like just go do it and repeat. And then once you get more confidence than that, then add a smile. Kimmy's coaching approach focused on the outside inWhen I started realizing how we look on the outside also affects the inside and there's a symbiotic relationship between the outer and inner when it comes to confidence. And so now I actually teach people how to gain confidence from the outside in order to attract love. And I start with what I call “style intelligence”, meaning we move through life, how we market ourselves through our wardrobe, our presentation, our first impressions, our body language, that is like the quickest gateway into someone's internal confidence. And so then I work on the inside and I work on emotional intelligence. And then the third pillar is social intelligence, which is interpersonal communication. And yes, that includes flirting. The critical role of non-attachment to outcomes in flirtingWe all get attracted to playfulness. I always in my workshop define what flirting is. It's fascinating. It's to behave as though you are attracted to someone without the serious intention of an outcome. That last part, not getting attached to the outcome, is huge because everyone doesn't flirt because they're worried about what's next rather than what is. And it's my job to help people really be present and just worry about what is. And once they do that, once they release that, the world opens up. Show Links:Official WebsiteKimmy Seltzer on LinkedinKimmy Seltzer on TwitterKimmy Seltzer on InstagramKimmy Seltzer on Facebook
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    25 mins
  • 21. Beyond Platitudes: Coaching for Real Transformation with Alisa Cohn

    21. Beyond Platitudes: Coaching for Real Transformation with Alisa Cohn
    Dec 19 2023
    Should you have more of a delicate touch when you're working with high performers and top achievers while you're coaching and mentoring them? And do platitudes have any place in our coaching and mentoring work that we do with clients? In this insightful episode of the upcoach podcast, host Todd Herman delves into the nuances of coaching high performers with the acclaimed executive coach, Alisa Cohn. Named the world's top startup coach, Alisa brings her extensive experience working with leaders from successful startups like Venmo and Etsy, as well as giants like Google and Microsoft. The conversation covers the delicate balance required when guiding top achievers, the role of platitudes in coaching, and the transformative power of mantras in initial client interactions.Alisa, also a celebrated author of "From Start-up to Grown-up," winner of the 2022 Independent Press Award and the 2023 Best Book Award for Entrepreneurship, shares her journey from the corporate world to becoming a globally recognized coach. She discusses her approach to addressing complex people issues and her mantra of adding value in just 20 minutes. With insights from her work with diverse leaders, including the first female minister of Afghanistan and the former Chief Justice of Sri Lanka, Alisa's wisdom is invaluable for anyone in the coaching or leadership field. This episode is a must-listen for coaches, entrepreneurs, and anyone interested in the art of effective leadership and coaching.Episode Quotes:The importance of avoiding platitudes in coaching and mentoringSo to me, so many coaches and people who do what we do express themselves in platitudes like, “Oh, my wise thing I'm going to say, “You've got to plan the work so you can work the plan or whatever.” And the problem with that is it just completely negates what it actually takes. The nuanced, difficult step by step work of change that it actually takes for the people I work with, startup founders and other senior executives. And I would just say they've already done the easy things. They've already done the medium things, the hard things really take that inner delicate inner work of understanding what's in the way and using tactics and frameworks to get there, not just overarching platitudes that I think some people write about and talk to their clients about.The delicate work of coachingI think that you need to have a delicate touch often to be effective with people. So when I'm interacting with my clients what you might see is an arrogant startup founder. What I see in the sanctity of the coaching room is someone who has topics that we both care a lot about imposter syndrome or somebody who has a confusion about what to do. And if you push them too hard, they shut down or they overcorrect. So the delicacy has to do with, first of all, my relationship with them, my interpersonal skills with them. And second of all, how can they sort of calibrate their style without losing who they are? And that is the delicate work of coaching.The role of financial background in entrepreneurial space I would say understanding the finances, but also understanding what it takes to run a business. So young entrepreneurs, when I first meet them, I'm like, “Well, how's the business doing?” “Oh, it's great. It's up and to the right.”  Okay. But how do you know it shouldn't be more up and more to the right? What goals and benchmarks? What did you predict was going to happen? How are you kind of finessing or continuing to perfect your system and be able to forecast what's going to happen? What experiments are you running? How are you scoring those experiments? So, you know, the analytics and the metrics, whether or not they're financial, I think that's where I think my expertise comes into play as well to help people understand how they need to structure themselves as they're building something which is kind of careening out of control.The power of a mantra: Add value in 20 minutesThe one thing I want to share is that I created my mantra, which is “Add value in 20 minutes.” And when I'm meeting with a prospect, also with clients, with anybody, I always have it in my head. I'm here to add value. How can I add value to this person in 20 minutes? And that shows up in a lot of ways. Sometimes it's asking questions that nobody else has asked them. Sometimes it's listening and really hearing the undertones of what they're saying and then mirroring that back to them. Sometimes it's actually sharing a practical tool that they find very helpful. One way or the other, I've been successful, but I've also served my clients by having this idea in my head about how I can add value in 20 minutes.Show Links:Official WebsiteAlisa’s book From Start-Up to Grown-UpAlisa’s 5 Scripts for Delicate ConversationsAlisa Cohn on LinkedinAlisa Cohn on Twitter
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    30 mins
  • 20. Embracing Coaching Authenticity: The Journey to Owning Your Unique Style with Anne Sugar

    20. Embracing Coaching Authenticity: The Journey to Owning Your Unique Style with Anne Sugar
    Dec 13 2023

    Welcome to the upcoach podcast, where insightful conversations with industry leaders and experts shape the landscape of personal and professional growth. In this episode, we sit down with Anne Sugar, a distinguished executive coach and speaker, renowned for her transformative work with top leaders in companies such as TripAdvisor, Sanofi Genzyme, and Havas.


    Anne's journey is a testament to the dynamic and non-linear nature of career paths. Having previously served as the Senior Vice President of Media at Digitas, overseeing a team of 75 employees and managing media planning for Fortune 500 clients, she brings a wealth of experience to her role as an executive coach. With a BA in Communications from Boston College and coaching certification from iPEC Coaching, Anne seamlessly combines her extensive management background with in-depth coaching methodology.


    In this episode, Anne shares valuable insights on the concept of the straight line versus the latticework path in one's career. She challenges the common perception of a linear trajectory and emphasizes the importance of embracing serendipity, patience, and continuous learning to become a substantive leader.


    Anne also delves into the topic of coaching authenticity, encouraging coaches to embrace their unique styles. Drawing from her own experience, she highlights the significance of owning who you are as a coach, breaking away from conventional methods, and fostering authenticity to create meaningful connections with clients.


    Join us as Anne Sugar shares her wisdom on navigating career trajectories, embracing authenticity in coaching, and refining the art of active listening. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking valuable insights into leadership, coaching, and personal development. Tune in and elevate your understanding of what it takes to be a substantive leader in today's dynamic professional landscape.


    Episode Quotes:


    Straight line vs. Latticework path


    So I think we all think that our careers are going to just go up the mountain like this, right? In this straight trajectory. But it's really not the case. It's a little bit of serendipity. And I ask a lot of people that I coach, “Well, how did you get from here to there?” And people say to me, “Oh, it's just a conversation I had, I wanted to learn something new. I was talking to a friend of mine, somebody reached out to me on LinkedIn and I wanted to kind of take this new role.”


    So it kind of is a bit circular, right? In terms of how we kind of bob and weave and a lot of consultants talk about it from a lattice perspective. So I think if we really get to the underpinnings of it, it's really about patience and learning. It's not just this kind of straight rocket ship up, but how do we allow for the patience and the learning. And that's how you become much more of a substantive leader.


    Embracing coaching authenticity


    It's really just owning who you are as a coach. What does that mean? When I went through coaching school, you had to learn how to ask a question. You went through this very linear process. My brain doesn't work that way. My brain goes to the shiny object. And sometimes it might come across as, you know, kind of swirly. And so I'd always try to live in this linear process of asking a question. But I finally decided, you know what? I'm just gonna own how my brain works. So I think part of it is just as a coach, really just owning your style. And it doesn't matter how everybody else “does” it, just own it.


    A coach's perspective on active listening and watching


    There are three things that I really look for when I'm listening. And the first one is I try really hard not to formulate my next question or a thought in my head. I try really hard to live in the moment. And I also try really hard to look at people's body language, too, just because body language never lies. 


    But now I'm going to contradict myself because I kind of love doing that. Sometimes I like to say a frown is just a frown. You as a coach. You're looking for these signals, right? And these you could have a frown that's just like a millisecond on your client's face and you think, “Oh, I just asked the wrong question or maybe I poked too hard on this.”


    Show Links:


    • Official Website
    • Anne Sugar on Linkedin
    • Anne Sugar on Twitter
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    24 mins
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