Épisodes

  • Game Day Love: Football, Relationships & Confessions | Blayne It On Us

    Game Day Love: Football, Relationships & Confessions | Blayne It On Us
    Sep 10 2025
    It’s football season, and in this episode of In Bed with Koaty & Sumner we talk about what the game means for our relationship. 🏈

    Koaty grew up surrounded by football—at home, at Penn State, and while living in Philadelphia—while Sumner wasn’t really exposed to it much at all. Over time, he’s become a fan through Koaty’s love for the sport. We share how trying the things your partner loves can actually bring you closer together.

    We also dive into our annual tradition of celebrating the Super Bowl at The Big Gay Super Bowl Party in LA, and play a hilarious game where Koaty quizzes Sumner on real vs. fake football terms.

    Finally, we close with our newest segment, Blayne It On Us!, where listeners send us anonymous confessions for advice.
    This week: • A guy discovers his dad is secretly gay. • A husband is using Grindr without his partner knowing.

    Grab a drink, crawl into bed with us, and let’s talk love, football, and confessions. 💋

    👉 Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more weekly episodes!📲
    Follow us everywhere: https://direct.me/koatysum
    Submit your confessions here: https://tally.so/r/mZro1o

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    39 min
  • Launching Our New Segment: “Blayne It On Us” | Queer Relationship, Sex & Friendship Advice

    Launching Our New Segment: “Blayne It On Us” | Queer Relationship, Sex & Friendship Advice
    Aug 13 2025
    Koaty and Sumner Blayne are taking In Bed With Koaty and Sumner overseas—podcasting from a bed in Japan while Koaty’s on a work trip. After a quick life update, we debut our brand-new segment, Blayne It On Us, where listeners send anonymous confessions and questions about relationships, sex, friendship, money, and other gay topics. We respond with unfiltered humor, raw honesty, and our trademark mix of comedy and vulnerability. The unqualified advice you asked for!

    Submit your anonymous question for a future episode here: https://tally.so/r/mZro1o

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    21 min
  • Beyond the Bedroom: How Sex Toys Deepened Our Relationship

    Beyond the Bedroom: How Sex Toys Deepened Our Relationship
    Jul 30 2025
    This week, we’re diving deep—literally and emotionally. Koaty and Sumner open up about how adult toys transformed our sex life and brought us closer as a couple. From our first unrealistic dildo to designing our very own double penetration mold with Mr. Hankey’s Toys, this episode is all about pleasure, trust, and play. We’re talking:
    • Why toys aren’t a last resort—they’re the gateway to emotional safety
    • How we use them to explore power dynamics and deepen communication
    • What it was really like getting our dicks molded in buckets of silicone
    • Our honest reviews of toys we’ve tried (yes, even the punching dildo machine)
    • Plus: tips for couples navigating their first toy experience
    We also share why we partnered with Mr. Hankey’s Toys—a brand that gets it. They don’t just make fantasy toys, they make real tools for connection. Our custom DP dildo is now live on their site, and it’s built with platinum-cured, medical-grade silicone—aka, the good stuff. Whether you're curious, kinky, or just ready to laugh at us oversharing (again), this episode has something for every couple looking to keep things hot, honest, and hella fun.

    👉 Check out our collab toy at https://www.mrhankeystoys.com/

    Search the KoatySum Dildo

    (P.S. Use water-based lube. Your toys will thank you.)

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    31 min
  • Why Gay Men Feel Disconnected—And How to Fix It (w/ Dr. Hector)

    Why Gay Men Feel Disconnected—And How to Fix It (w/ Dr. Hector)
    Jul 23 2025
    In this special “first-in-bed” episode, Koaty & Sumner welcome their first actual in-bed guest: psychiatrist, entrepreneur, and emotional edge-walker Dr. Hector.

    Together, they get real about why so many gay men struggle to feel emotionally connected—even in hyper-social, hyper-sexual spaces. From intimacy issues to trauma loops, hookup culture to healing, this episode peels back the layers with insight, humor, and zero shame.

    ⚡ Topics we cover:
    • Why high-functioning doesn’t mean emotionally fulfilled
    • Shame, identity, and sex: the invisible triangle
    • Rebuilding trust with yourself (before anyone else)
    • What gay men really want from connection—and how to get there

    This isn’t therapy, but it might feel like it.

    🦋 Guest: Dr. Hector
    Psychiatrist. Creative. Sacred outcast. Founder of The White Butterfly.
    @drhector.rodriguez | doctorhector.com


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    56 min
  • What is sex therapy with Dr. Chris Donaghue, author of Rebel Love

    What is sex therapy with Dr. Chris Donaghue, author of Rebel Love
    Jul 16 2025
    This week, we’re in bed with the one and only Dr. Chris Donaghue—sex therapist, author, and queer truth-teller behind the book Rebel Love. We dive deep into the messy beauty of queer intimacy, ethical sex, and rewriting every outdated rule we’ve been told about love and relationships.

    From emotional differentiation to kinky exploration, Dr. Chris helps us unpack how shame-free pleasure and radical honesty can actually heal our relationships. We also get personal about sex work, queer partnership, and what it means to reclaim love outside the heteronormative script. Oh—and we may have gotten a little too honest. But hey, that’s the point, right?

    💬 Let us know what part cracked you open the most.

    📚 Grab Rebel Love here: https://www.amazon.com/Rebel-Love-Break-Free-Relationships/dp/0593443025

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    47 min
  • Differentiation, Exploration, and Red Flags with Author Tom Bruett

    Differentiation, Exploration, and Red Flags with Author Tom Bruett
    Jul 2 2025
    We’re joined by therapist and author Tom Bruett, whose book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men has genuinely impacted our relationship. In this honest and vulnerable conversation, we dive deep into the two stages that rocked us the most: Differentiation and Exploration.

    We talk about what it really means to stay emotionally connected while becoming your own person, how to ask for what you want in bed (without shame), and why open relationships often bring up the deepest communication work. Tom shares what it was like writing his most personal chapter, and we open up about how the book has helped us become better partners.

    💬 Learning to set boundaries without shutting down
    🧠 The power of sex-positive, vulnerable conversations
    ❤️ Why differentiation can feel scary—but lead to deeper love

    And of course, we close it out with a classic Koaty and Sumner game: Red Flag or Growth Lag? We throw out spicy relationship scenarios, and Tom tells us whether it’s a dealbreaker—or just a couple stuck in one of the book’s core stages.

    This episode is heartfelt, hilarious, and deeply helpful for anyone in a queer relationship (or hoping to be in one).

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    54 min
  • Daddy Issues & Narcissist Parents: Knowing When to Cut Ties

    Daddy Issues & Narcissist Parents: Knowing When to Cut Ties
    Jun 25 2025
    In this vulnerable and validating episode, Koaty shares the emotional journey behind cutting off his father—and the years of narcissistic behavior, gaslighting, and betrayal that led up to it. We explore how hard it can be to draw boundaries with a parent, especially when manipulation is masked as love. From financial deception to emotional abuse, we break down the signs of a narcissistic parent, why it’s okay to walk away, and how chosen family can sometimes be the safest family. And of course, it wouldn’t be us without a little fun—Sumner closes the episode with a spicy quiz to find out once and for all: does Koaty have daddy issues? This episode is part healing, part chaos, and 100% real.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    41 min
  • Ex Mormon, Ex Engineer, Ex tra Gay

    Ex Mormon, Ex Engineer, Ex tra Gay
    Jun 11 2025
    From church pews to OnlyFans views. In this episode, Sumner opens up about growing up Mormon—from blessing sacrament trays as a teenager to being interrogated by bishops about masturbation (yep, really). Koaty plays Mormon Mythbusters and finds out just how weird—and wildly repressive—Sumner’s childhood really was.

    We get into sex shame, secret Mormon wife culture, sacred underwear, and how leaving the Church helped Sumner finally reclaim his sexuality.

    If you’ve ever grown up in purity culture, questioned religion, or just love messy spiritual trauma with a gay twist… this one’s for you.

    👼 Trauma dump meets temple tea. Tap in.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.
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    53 min