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Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

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If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Why is nothing working?” when your child is melting down, this episode is for you.

In today’s episode, Andi introduces the concept of Stress Animals—a powerful and accessible framework to help parents decode their child’s behavior in moments of emotional overwhelm.

You’ll learn how to spot the early signs of dysregulation, understand your child’s stress response, and most importantly, how to shift your own energy so you can help your child return to calm.

Key Takeaways:

• Every child has a unique stress response—and it’s not about bad behavior, it’s about nervous system overload.
• The Stress Animal framework (Dolphin, Shark, Turtle, Clownfish) helps parents identify how their child reacts to stress—and how to support them accordingly.
• Your own stress animal matters too. The way you react can either soothe or escalate your child’s stress state.
• You can’t connect through correction. Lasting change happens when you meet your child’s stress with the kind of connection they need.
• Regulation before resolution: Problem-solving comes after calming the nervous system—never during a meltdown.

Episode Highlights & Timestamps:

[00:00] Introduction – What to expect & why this matters

[02:00] Why traditional strategies fail with dysregulated kids

[05:00] The biology of stress – nervous system states explained

[06:45] Introducing the Stress Animals:

Dolphin – The regulated, connected state

Shark – Explosive, reactive energy

Turtle – Shut-down, withdrawn, retreating energy

Clownfish – Anxious, people-pleasing, over-worrying

[11:00] How your stress animal impacts your child’s response

[13:30] Why we don’t want to be in dolphin all the time

[14:00] Matching your response to your child’s stress animal

[15:00] Real-life examples: what worked, what didn’t, and why

[20:00] Supporting the nervous system through grounding tools

[21:00] One family’s story: shifting from Clownfish to quiet presence

[22:00] Final thoughts – Why this approach changes everything

✨ You’re not expected to get this right every time. But every step toward understanding helps build the connection your child needs to feel safe and supported.

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

Parenting isn’t just about raising our kids—it’s also about healing ourselves. In this powerful conversation, Jenn Abbatiello shares her journey from perfectionism and high achievement to learning how to parent with connection, grace, and calm. Together, we dive deep into how generational patterns shape our parenting styles, how to navigate grief and guilt in motherhood, and what it really takes to build a joyful, connected family—without losing yourself in the process.

Whether you're feeling burnt out, stuck in old ways, or unsure how to support your child without repeating the past, this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and ready for change.

Key Takeaways

• Parenting often brings us to our breaking point—but it’s also an opportunity for transformation.
• Grief is a natural part of parenting—especially when letting go of our “old life.”
• You can love your children and miss the life you had before. Both can be true.
• Punishment and disconnection aren't the only tools. Understanding leads to true change.
• Kids don’t need us to be perfect—they need us to be regulated and real.
• We can’t support our children in becoming their true selves if we haven’t done the work ourselves.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Meet Jenn Abbatiello: Her story of shifting from corporate success to parenting transformation

02:00 – What it feels like to lose joy in motherhood—and why it’s so common

04:30 – Mourning your old life and learning to live in the and

06:15 – The “stoic badge of honor” and how emotions come roaring in with motherhood

10:15 – Why gentle parenting gets misinterpreted—and how to define consequences with compassion

12:30 – A real-life example of consequences vs. punishment with Jenn’s child

14:00 – Andi’s story about her son, Pokémon, and helping him take ownership

16:00 – What schools miss: Executive functioning, stress, and the root cause of meltdowns

17:45 – What to do during a meltdown vs. after a meltdown

20:30 – Why your child’s behavior triggers you—and what that means for your healing

22:00 – Jenn’s story of colic, control, and generational expectations

25:30 – The parenting puzzle: So many pieces, and why healing yourself matters

27:00 – Letting your child be themself—and why that requires your own growth

30:00 – Living someone else's dream vs. letting your kids follow their own

34:00 – Childhood programming, identity, and subconscious stories

36:00 – Andi’s IFS story: How one childhood memory created a lifelong belief

39:00 – Why self-care isn’t selfish—and how to do it in your current season

42:00 – Jenn’s encouragement for parents feeling stuck or overwhelmed

Resources Mentioned

Jenn Abbatiello’s free email series:

• Name: 3 Critical Steps to...

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

If your child has ever been labeled as dramatic, difficult, or lazy… this episode is for you. Andi breaks down the most common behaviors reported by over 60 parents who filled out the Kids With Big Emotions Self-Assessment—and reveals what’s really going on underneath.

This isn’t just about behavior. It’s about root causes, hidden struggles, and executive functioning challenges that often get missed in schools and misunderstood at home.

Key Takeaways

• Behavior is the tip of the iceberg—executive functioning is often what’s underneath.
• Kids aren’t being difficult on purpose. They’re often overwhelmed, misunderstood, or unsupported in key areas of brain development.
• Sensitivities to sound, clothing, and transitions may be signs of deeper processing challenges or superpowers that need support to shine.
• Many kids labeled as lazy, disorganized, or disruptive actually have struggles with working memory, attention, or impulse control.
• Shifting from judgment to curiosity helps uncover patterns and truly support your child’s needs.
• The self-assessment form is a powerful first step to uncover what’s going on beneath the surface.

Episode Highlights & Timestamps

[00:00] Welcome & overview of the parent self-assessment results

[02:00] What 66 parents revealed—140 out of 180 average checkmarks

[03:00] Big emotions, meltdowns, impulse struggles—what the numbers say

[04:00] Why behavior-based discipline often misses the real problem

[05:00] Sensory sensitivity as a superpower—and why it needs support

[06:45] Trouble learning from mistakes? This might be why.

[08:00] Why schools often miss what’s really going on

[09:15] From behavior to brain: what to look for underneath

[10:30] Start tracking patterns—what triggers overwhelm or shutdowns

[12:00] Writing struggles, masking, and misunderstood learning differences

[13:30] Why executive functioning assessments matter

[14:30] What to say instead of “Why didn’t you do this?”

[15:15] Helping your child feel understood and supported

[16:00] Speaking the language of executive functioning in IEPs

[17:00] Concrete examples: working memory, impulsivity, perception

[18:00] Tools, links, and next steps for parents ready to dig deeper

Resources Mentioned

Kids With Big Emotions Self-Assessment: Click here to get the form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Executive Functioning Podcast Series

• Ep. 85 Perception: Emotional Regulation

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

In this heart-opening conversation, I’m joined by an early childhood expert, parent coach, and grandma Rose Couse. With over 40 years of experience supporting kids, educators, and families, Rose shares powerful insights on parenting through grief, the true meaning of self-care, and how to shift from judgment to compassion in your parenting journey.

We talk about the invisible load parents carry, the guilt that often surrounds taking time for ourselves, and how small, daily moments of awareness can help us better connect with our kids—and ourselves.

Key Takeaways

• Self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity for parenting with presence and compassion.
• Awareness of your internal experience is key to helping your child regulate theirs.
• Regulation is contagious—your nervous system affects your child’s.
• Grief, stress, and trauma show up in parenting in subtle and powerful ways.
• You’re doing better than you think. Shifting your inner dialogue can change how you show up.

Episode Highlights

00:00 – Welcome and guest intro

02:00 – Rose’s journey from early childhood educator to parent coach

04:00 – The biggest surprise of parenting: It’s not just about the kids

06:30 – Why parents need self-awareness to parent well

08:15 – Parenting through grief and the invisible fear of not doing “enough”

10:45 – Breaking generational patterns of putting yourself last

12:30 – Why we admire others’ strength but struggle to see our own

14:45 – The healing power of community and connection

17:30 – What real self-care looks like (hint: it’s not bubble baths)

20:15 – Understanding the “body budget” and parenting under stress

23:30 – Why breathing for 12 minutes a day changes your brain

27:15 – Simple grounding tools in the middle of chaos

30:00 – Modeling emotional awareness for your kids

32:30 – Joy as a parenting practice

36:00 – The importance of celebrating small wins

39:00 – Helping kids notice their own body signals and emotions

42:00 – Three questions to ground yourself in hard parenting moments

44:00 – Final thoughts and how to connect with Rose

Resources Mentioned

• Rose’s blog + parent coaching: http://www.rmcouse.ca/
• Robin Gobbel – trauma-informed parenting educator: robingobbel.com
• Amishi Jha’s work on attention and focus – including her breathing practice research
• Lisa Feldman Barrett’s “body budget” concept – from How Emotions Are Made
• Rick Hanson’s “Velcro vs. Teflon” idea – from Hardwiring Happiness

If this episode...

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

Self Assessment form: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

Sometimes the child who seems “fine” — quiet, cooperative, and academically strong — is actually the one silently struggling.

In this deeply personal episode, Andi shares what she recently discovered about her one son's hidden stress responses and executive functioning challenges, despite being the so-called “easy” kid of her two kids.

She walks through the emotional rollercoaster of guilt, the importance of slowing down, and how “doing well” on paper doesn't always mean everything is okay underneath.

Key Takeaways

• Just because a child is quiet, compliant, or “gifted” doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling emotionally or cognitively.
• The turtle stress response (shutdown, avoidance, compliance) can hide significant executive functioning challenges.
• It’s easy to skip foundational skills when we’re anxious to “fix” the problem — even when we know better.
• Support begins with understanding where your child is truly struggling, not just reacting to behavior.
• Academic success doesn’t automatically reflect emotional regulation or executive functioning strength.
• Slowing down and building skills step-by-step is the real shortcut to lasting change.

Episode Highlights

[00:01:00] – What it means when the “good kid” isn’t actually fine

[00:03:00] – The gifted child who won the “Silent but Deadly” award — and what it masked

[00:05:00] – Signs of executive functioning struggles hiding beneath compliance

[00:07:00] – When guilt kicks in: The parenting moment Andi didn’t expect

[00:09:00] – Why compassion and collaboration beats punishment

[00:10:00] – Learning ladders: Meeting kids where they’re actually at

[00:13:00] – Helping kids in school when executive functioning is the issue

[00:15:00] – Real-life changes that helped Andi’s son thrive

[00:17:00] – Reframing school as executive functioning training

[00:20:00] – A focus tool from Peak Mind by Amishi Jha that actually worked

[00:21:00] – Letting go of grades as the only measure of success

[00:23:00] – Why helping your child succeed means seeing what’s really going on

Resources Mentioned

Book: Peak Mind by Dr. Amishi Jha – A science-based guide to improving focus and attention: https://amishi.com/books/peak-mind

Self-Assessment Form – Understand hidden executive functioning and emotional struggles: Click here to access: https://subscribepage.io/big-emotions-self-assessment

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

Book a 30-Minute Call with Andi – Get your questions answered and explore next steps: Book here: https://tidycal.com/andi1/bookacall

When your child struggles with homework, meltdowns, or falling behind—especially when they’re bright—the issue may not be academic at all.

In this episode, Andi sits down with Allie Bourke, owner of Oxford Learning in Waterloo, Ontario, to talk about how executive functioning shapes everything from learning and memory to focus, flexibility, and frustration tolerance.

Allie shares insights from her 19+ years supporting kids through cognitive and academic assessments—and explains why understanding how your child learns is often more important than what they’re learning.

Key Takeaways:

• Why executive functioning struggles often show up as academic issues, behavior challenges, or emotional outbursts
• How standard report cards miss critical learning and cognitive skill gaps
• The difference between the school system and individual teachers—and how to build collaborative support
• How to help your child when they “know it” but can’t show it
• Why some kids shut down over homework even when the material is “easy”
• The role of flexibility, memory, inhibition, and self-monitoring in learning success
• How parents can advocate more effectively (and when to bring in outside support)

Episode Highlights:

[00:00] – Andi introduces Allie and her background in child psychology and education

[02:00] – Why so many kids struggle in school even when they’re bright

[05:00] – What executive functioning looks like in everyday classroom behavior

[07:30] – Real-life examples of cognitive inflexibility and how they impact learning

[10:00] – The homework meltdown: why it’s not just about the math

[12:00] – Executive functioning vs. academic level—when your child knows the answers but can’t get them on paper

[15:00] – How Oxford Learning uses both academic and cognitive assessments to get a full picture

[19:00] – Dysgraphia, working memory, and why testing format matters

[24:00] – Why some parents shouldn’t be their child’s teacher—and how to recognize when to step back

[30:00] – Talking to schools when expectations don’t match your child’s current ability

[35:00] – What to do if your child is always chasing “perfect marks” but losing confidence

[42:00] – Helping kids build self-awareness, pause before reacting, and choose recovery

[45:00] – Final thoughts from Allie: don’t wait if you suspect something’s off

Resources Mentioned:

FREE Dynamic Assessment (Reg. $275):

Oxford Learning Waterloo is offering a free academic + cognitive assessment to Kids With Big Emotions podcast listeners!

Offer expires May 31, 2025.

Available in-person only at the Waterloo, ON location.

👉 To book:

📧 Email: waterloo@oxfordlearning.com

📞 Call: 1-519-725-3577

📍 Mention you heard about it on the Kids With...

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

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What if your child’s “too muchness” is exactly what the world needs?

In this episode, Andi explores how children who are sensitive, intense, passionate, or deeply curious are often misunderstood, redirected, or told to tone it down—and how this can quietly create lasting emotional wounds. She breaks down the subtle, invisible forms of trauma kids experience when the world isn’t ready for their gifts and offers tools for helping your child celebrate who they are instead of shrinking to fit in.

Whether your child is being told they’re “too loud,” “too sensitive,” “too smart,” or “too intense,” this episode will help you reframe those messages and support them in developing confidence, connection, and self-awareness—without ever having to change who they are.

Key Takeaways

• Trauma isn’t just big events—it’s anything that feels like too much, too soon, too fast, or too long.
• Many neurodiverse kids internalize subtle redirections and dismissals as proof that something is “wrong” with them.
• Kids who are deeply curious or emotionally intense may feel misunderstood unless we celebrate their “too much” instead of trying to fix or mute it.
• Teaching kids how to use a “dial,” not a mute button, helps them adjust to different environments without losing their identity.
• Supporting kids through their sensitivities and passions builds resilience and helps them develop a strong sense of self.

[00:00] – Opening reflection: Why kids are told they’re too much—and what it does to them

[02:00] – Personal story: How a whiteboard and math at dinner challenged expectations

[03:00] – Trauma redefined: Not just big events, but how experiences shape nervous systems

[05:00] – The impact of being misunderstood or redirected as a child

[06:00] – How feeling others’ emotions can be overwhelming—and how to manage it

[07:00] – Breaking down trauma: too much, too soon, too fast, too long

[08:30] – Academic mismatch: When a child’s intellectual level doesn’t match emotional readiness

[10:00] – Sensory sensitivity: The real impact of smells, sounds, and environment

[12:00] – Practical examples: Why 20 questions on a test might trigger a meltdown

[14:00] – Personal school story: Being accelerated without emotional preparation

[16:00] – The hidden trauma of chronic stress, boredom, or masking

[18:00] – Supporting your child: Let them voice how they feel about being brushed off

[19:00] – Creating safe spaces where “too much” is celebrated

[21:00] – Teaching the concept of the emotional and behavioral “dial”

[22:00] – Self-awareness vs. self-rejection: Supporting authenticity with boundaries

[24:00] – Helping kids find their people and communities where they belong

[26:00] – Mourning what we thought parenting would look like—and leaning into who our child really...

Website: 🌐 www.andiclark.com

Support Circle Membership: https://andiclark.thrivecart.com/support-circle/

In this powerful episode, Andi sits down with Courtney Hobbs, the heart behind MotherTelling, to explore how the simple act of sharing our motherhood stories can be deeply healing—not just for ourselves, but for others too. From NICU beginnings to stage-worthy stories, Courtney shares how storytelling builds connection, creates understanding, and reminds us we’re never alone.

• Your silence isn’t protecting you—it's keeping you isolated. Sharing your story invites connection and support.
• You don’t have to have the same experience to relate. Emotional truths like doubt, fear, and hope are universal.
• Telling your story helps others understand your world—especially in settings like school advocacy for your child.
• Stories are more impactful when told from a scar, not an open wound. Healing creates space for meaningful connection.
• Daily moments matter. Tracking even the tiniest memories can lead to powerful stories down the road.

[00:00] Meet Courtney Hobbs and the origin of MotherTelling

[03:00] Why silence can make motherhood feel lonelier than it is

[05:30] How shared stories create deep understanding across different experiences

[07:00] The importance of using language others can relate to—especially when discussing neurodiversity

[09:00] Tips for identifying jargon in your story and rewording it to connect with more people

[11:00] Storytelling for advocacy: how to describe your child’s needs in a way schools can understand

[14:30] What behaviors might look like at school and how parents can offer insights to teachers

[18:00] Parents are the experts on their kids—don’t underestimate the knowledge you have

[21:30] The impact of screens and the shift in focus and attention in the classroom

[24:00] Helping kids use tech as a tool, not just a distraction

[27:00] Movement and creativity in the classroom—and why they matter so much

[28:30] Healing through storytelling: how the 10-week journey supports moms in finding their voice

[33:30] Sharing from a scar, not an open wound: why timing matters in storytelling

[40:00] The Daily Momment Challenge: capturing story-worthy “mom”ents from everyday life

[42:00] Why collecting small memories can shift your mindset and preserve your legacy

• 🌟 Courtney’s Daily Momment Challenge – A 7-day guided journey to help you capture meaningful moments in your motherhood story: https://mothertelling.myflodesk.com/dailymomentschallenge
• 📓 MotherTelling Journals (Coming soon on Amazon!) – Sentimental and funny guided journals to help you keep track of story-worthy moments
• Oh they are available now
• https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=courtney+hobbs&crid=39IDBAT0MRBZU&sprefix=courtney+hobbs%2Caps%2C93&ref=nb_sb_noss_1...