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M.E.S.H.

Auteur(s): Dr. Pamela Brewer
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 Where your Mental, Emotion, and Social Health is always on the agenda!© 2025 Dr. Pamela Brewer Hygiène et mode de vie sain Psychologie Psychologie et santé mentale
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  • Understanding Chaos and Contempt: Dr. Justin Frank Unpacks America’s Emotional Climate

    Understanding Chaos and Contempt: Dr. Justin Frank Unpacks America’s Emotional Climate
    Sep 24 2025

    In this insightful episode of M.E.S.H., host Dr. Pamela Brewer welcomes esteemed psychoanalyst Dr. Justin A. Frank—author of “Trump on the Couch”—for a wide-ranging conversation delving into the psychological underpinnings of current political and social turbulence. The discussion explores the rise of anger and chaos in today’s climate, and how former President Donald Trump’s appeal taps into deep-seated frustrations and anxieties. Dr. Frank offers actionable advice for listeners feeling overwhelmed by ongoing stress, shares professional reflections on the complexities of collective mental health, and addresses the importance of focused engagement in times of uncertainty. The episode provides a thoughtful and compassionate lens on our emotional well being in a chaotic world.

    Topics Covered:

    • Why contempt and defensiveness pervade current public discourse
    • Dr. Frank’s psychoanalytic perspective on Donald Trump’s appeal and leadership style
    • The psychological roots of anger, chaos, and yearning for authority
    • Strategies for managing stress in an anxious political environment
    • The challenges of collective mental health under divisive leadership
    • How to stay grounded and mentally healthy amid constant news and upheaval


    Key Takeaways:

    • Chaos can leave individuals feeling anchorless and frightened, but focusing on a single topic or issue can help regain composure and clarity.
    • It’s important to separate the concepts of something being only one way (“only”) versus a genuinely held belief (“really”).
    • Collective mental health is under strain, and self-care strategies are crucial.


    Questions I Ask (Highlights):

    • “How is it that he [Trump] is a danger to society? Help us understand that.”
    • "Do you get concerned about our collective mental health?"
    • “Do you see the way that he is approaching our world as chaos?"
    • “Can you help us understand the numbers of people that seem to support him in that, that it seems to be okay to scare people?”
    • “Would you say that he and his followers actually believe at their core that what they are saying and doing and thinking is the way to go?”
    • “For people who experience this administration all day long as stressful…what do we need to think about?”


    Top Six Quotes:

    1. “Trying to read somebody else's mind or expecting somebody else to read your mind is never a good idea and it's always going to take you down a really unpleasant path.” – Pamela Brewer
    2. “People have contempt for other people who make them uncomfortable. And so it's a way of protecting yourself from thinking and also from vulnerability.” – Dr. Justin Frank
    3. “Anger…can also be a defense against thinking because if you're really angry about something, you're not allowing yourself to entertain different possibilities.” – Dr. Justin Frank
    4. “When you're feeling in a state of chaos, you're also frightened because you don't see land anywhere. You don't see a rock to hold onto.” – Dr. Justin Frank


    Connect with Dr. Justin Frank:

    • Email: jafrankmd@mail.com

    Resources List:

    • Book: Trump on the Couch by Dr. Justin Frank
    • Book: Bush on the Couch by Dr. Justin Frank
    • Book: Obama on the Couch by Dr. Justin Frank
    • M.E.S.H. Podcast: Tune in every Wednesday to FaceBook Live and You Tube for new episodes with Dr. Pamela Brewer
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    20 min
  • Empowerment Through Story: Helen Winslow Black Author, Seven Blackbirds

    Empowerment Through Story: Helen Winslow Black Author, Seven Blackbirds
    Sep 17 2025

    In this powerful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer welcomes Helen Winslow Black, author of novel Seven Blackbirds. Together, they dive into the complex realities of abusive relationships, the subtle and overt dynamics that keep people trapped, and the healing journey that follows. The conversation spans the emotional impact on survivors, the nuanced effects on children, societal expectations, and the importance of reclaiming one’s voice. Helen’s perspective, paired with Pamela’s experience as a psychotherapist, creates an insightful discussion filled with empathy and practical wisdom.

    Topics Covered

    • The trajectory of abusive relationships and recognizing warning signs
    • Emotional toll and obstacles to leaving an abuser
    • The myth of “allowing” abuse and the culture of blame/shame
    • Impact of domestic violence on children and the importance of honesty


    Key Takeaways

    • Abuse can be very subtle at the beginning; most abusers do not reveal themselves immediately.
    • No one is ever responsible for healing their abuser’s trauma; self-care is paramount.
    • Societal conditioning can trap survivors in cycles of blame and silence.
    • Children, regardless of age, are deeply affected by the atmosphere of abuse—even if not directly witnessing it.
    • Shame and guilt culture perpetuates silence and must be dismantled for genuine recovery.
    • Speaking out and reclaiming one’s narrative is a transformative step in healing.


    Six Best Quotes

    1. “You are not there to heal the other person’s trauma. You have to take care. You have to take care of yourself.” – Helen Winslow Black
    2. “An act of abuse is an affirmation that you are an object and you are a worthless object. And if you accept that, you’re giving away yourself.” – Helen Winslow Black
    3. “Children pick up on more than you think… you have to say to children, ‘This happened, I’m sorry it happened, and it was not okay.’” – Helen Winslow Black
    4. “Not your job to read someone else’s mind. Not their job to read yours. Don't assume, ask questions.” – Pamela Brewer

    Connect with Helen Winslow Black

    • Website: helenwinslowblack.com
    • Facebook Author Page: Helen Winslow Black, Author

    Resources List

    • Seven Blackbirds by Helen Winslow Black (releasing September 23; pre-order on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, independentbookstore.org)
    • Helen’s Website
    • Independentbookstore.org

    #MESHPodcast
    #DomesticViolenceAwareness
    #MentalHealthMatters
    #EmotionalHealth
    #BreakTheCycle
    #SurvivorStories
    #AbuseRecovery
    #SevenBlackbirds
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    20 min
  • Tackling Conflict, Disconnection, and Infidelity in Modern Relationships

    Tackling Conflict, Disconnection, and Infidelity in Modern Relationships
    Sep 10 2025
    Episode Summary:In this insightful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer sits down with licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and certified sex therapist Deborah Fox for a candid conversation about the realities of modern relationships. Together, they delve into topics like Imago Relationship Therapy, the myths and facts of sex therapy, maintaining connection after children, handling infidelity, and what to look for in a couples therapist. Deborah offers practical advice and reassurance to couples facing common challenges, highlighting connection, communication, and the value of seeking help as acts of self-care and growth.Topics Covered:What is Imago Relationship Therapy?The real work of clinical sex therapy versus myths and media portrayalsSigns it’s time to consider couples therapy: too soon or too late?The nature of conflict (or “conflict-free” claims) and connection in relationshipsChanges in sexual desire and ‘responsive’ vs. ‘intrinsic’ sexual styles in couplesNavigating sex when partners have mismatched drives or routinesThe impact of children (and step-parenting) on intimacy and partnershipRecovering from infidelity: Is the relationship over?What to expect in couples therapy sessions—including structure and therapist fitKey Takeaways:Effective couples and sex therapy is structured, active, and home-focused, not just talk.It’s never too early (or late) for couples to seek support—therapy can be a powerful gift at any stage.Disconnection often underlies relationship distress, whether or not couples argue openly.Sexual desire styles differ—understanding these differences is crucial for lasting intimacy.Prioritizing “coupleness,” even after children or in blended families, keeps relationships strong.Infidelity, while deeply painful, does not have to end a relationship—with help, trust can be rebuilt.The right therapist creates space for connection and guides, rather than judges or takes sides.Questions I Ask (Best Questions from Pamela Brewer):“What is it that a credible clinical sex therapist actually does?”“Is there ever a time it’s too soon [for couples therapy]? Is there ever a time it’s too late?”“What’s the value if any, or what’s the red flag if any, when you hear someone say, ‘Oh, we never had any conflict’?”“Their anticipation is that the magic is going to go… What do you say to those couples?”“When there is an instance of infidelity, does that mean the relationship is over?”“Is there a way to know that the therapist you’re working with is not a good fit for you?”The Six Best Quotes:“The best possible way to get yourself into relationship trouble is to assume someone else can read your mind and that you can read theirs.” — Pamela Brewer“What happens in my office is we have a conversation, we figure out what it is that’s getting in the way…but always what it’s going to come down to is what is that couple going to do at home…” — Deborah Fox“Conflict is a part of any relationship. The sooner you can learn how to approach, how you can talk about things that are your differences or tension points, you’re in a so much better position.” — Deborah Fox“They may not know the word disconnection, but when you say it, they go, yeah, that’s it. That’s what’s missing. We used to feel connected and now we’re not anymore.” — Deborah Fox“For this group of people [responsive desire], particularly, often desire comes after arousal, which is also something we don’t understand in our culture because our movies, which is our major source of sex education, they don’t talk about that part.” — Deborah Fox“We all get stuck, you know, and, and when we get stuck and we can’t really feel the way we want to feel, please get help. It’s available.” — Deborah FoxConnect with the Guest:Website: debfox.comBased in Northwest Washington, D.C.Additional articles on Medium (search “Deborah Fox”)Resources List:Deborah Fox’s website for therapy resources: debfox.comDeborah Fox on Medium for her articles (exact link not given; search her name on Medium)Imago Relationship Therapy (general info: imago-relationships.com, not directly mentioned in transcript but for further reading)No specific books, organizations, or courses were named in this episode.
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    22 min
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