In this insightful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer welcomes Tahara DeBarrows, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss alexithymia—a personality trait often described as "emotional blindness." Tahara DeBarrows explains what alexithymia is, how it impacts relationships and personal well-being, and offers practical advice on how individuals can develop emotional awareness. The conversation also touches on trauma, neurodivergence, and the importance of seeking help without stigma. Listeners will leave with a deeper understanding of emotional processing and actionable strategies to support themselves or loved ones.

Topics Covered:

• What alexithymia is and how it manifests
• Emotional awareness and emotional vocabulary
• Neurodivergence: autism, ADHD, and its relationship to alexithymia
• Impact of emotional blindness in relationships and parenting
• The role of trauma in developing alexithymia
• Gender and cultural aspects of emotional expression
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and emotional wheels
• Somatic therapies and mindfulness
• Trauma-informed approaches in therapy
• Practical steps for supporting someone with emotional blindness

Key Takeaways:

• Alexithymia is not a mental health disorder but a personality trait, often described as emotional blindness.
• Emotional blindness can develop as a survival strategy, particularly in traumatic or emotionally disconnected environments.
• Both neurodivergent individuals and those with trauma histories may be more likely to experience alexithymia.
• Emotional vocabulary can be strengthened; skills like identifying and naming emotions can be learned and mastered.
• CBT, emotional wheels, and somatic therapies are effective tools for building emotional awareness.
• Seeking therapy is not a sign of being "crazy"—it's a step towards better self-understanding and well-being.
• Grace, patience, and modeling emotional language can support loved ones struggling with emotional blindness.
• Trauma-informed care prioritizes the client’s needs and equips them with coping skills for triggers.

The Six Best Quotes:

1. "It's not a mental health disorder. It's really just an emotional processing kind of issue." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
2. "Identifying emotions could be a skill. Meaning that it can be taught, it can be learned, it can be mastered." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
3. "We go to medical doctors for physical symptoms... What's the difference with seeing a therapist for mental health issues?" –
   Tahara DeBarrows
4. "The reality of it, usually we feel worse before we feel better when we start to uncover those feelings because we were so avoidant before. But there's hope." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
5. "If you're the one in the relationship who knows how to identify their emotions, you can kind of model what you want that to look like." –
   Tahara DeBarrows
6. "Trauma-informed means I'm just putting the client first... with a lot of grace and a lot of care for these individuals who've gone through a lot and have developed things like alexithymia." –
   Tahara DeBarrows

Connect with the Guest:

• Website: ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
• Email: info@ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
• Blog: Men with Alexithymia (find under Blogs section on the website)

Resources List:

• A Journey to Healing Counseling –Tahara DeBarrows's practice (Connecticut & Florida)
• Blog: Men with Alexithymia
• CBT Worksheets: Available under Services and Professional Development on ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
• Emotional Wheel: Search "emotional wheel" on Google for printable charts
• Somatic therapies & mindfulness practices (referenced as body scanning and progressive muscle relaxation)
• For specific therapy and information, contact info@ajourneytohealingcounseling.com

In this insightful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer welcomes Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin, CEO of Parents Anonymous for a dynamic conversation on the mental, emotional, and social challenges facing families today. The pair dive into the realities of parenting in the digital age, specifically the complexities that social media introduces to family dynamics. Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin breaks down the ethos and offerings of Parents Anonymous, and arms listeners with practical strategies to navigate children’s screen time while maintaining open, nurturing relationships. The episode wraps with guidance on where families can seek help and highlights the vital importance of connection, limits, and ongoing support.

Topics Covered:

• What is clinical hypnotherapy (versus popular misconceptions)
• The holistic, multi-generational support model of Parents Anonymous
• The impact and dangers of social media on children and teens
• Signs your child may be overusing or misusing social media
• Setting healthy boundaries around technology use
• The links between family routines, chores, and long-term well-being

Key Takeaways:

• Clinical hypnotherapy is about gently accessing and addressing deep emotional triggers—not stage tricks.
• Parents Anonymous provides judgement-free, evidence-based support for all caregivers, not just biological parents.
• Children do best with clear, consistent limits—even if they resist them in the moment.
• Parents' own modeling and digital boundaries are just as important as rules they set for kids.

Quotes:

1. “If you don’t deal with what we call our basic underlying feelings, you’re really only moving on one level.” –
   Lisa Pion-Berlin
2. “It is important to set limits around social media and modeling it yourself as a parent—many parents are addicted themselves.” –
   Lisa Pion-Berlin
3. “If you’re on your phone, you’re not interacting with each other, you’re not interacting with your peers, you’re not interacting with your children, you’re disconnected.” –
   Lisa Pion-Berlin
4. “Children have reported over and over again when they have limits, they feel safer and more confident.” –
   Lisa Pion-Berlin
5. “You need to create these breaks so you can foster. I think kids today don’t even know how to interact with their peers, right?” –
   Lisa Pion-Berlin
6. “No blame, no shame—any issue you have about yourself or any of the children or people in your life—the helpline is there.” –
   Lisa Pion-Berlin

Connect with the Guest:

• Parents Anonymous Website: natlparentyouthhelpline.org
• National Parent & Youth Helpline (Call/Text): 855-427-2736
• Meditations and resources: Available on the website in English and Spanish
  • No specific social media handles or personal email were provided in the episode.

Resources Mentioned:

• Parents Anonymous: natlparentyouthhelpline.org
• National Parent & Youth Helpline: 855-427-2736 (call or text, 24/7, 240 languages)
• Family support, evidence-based programs, and leadership training information via Parents Anonymous website
• Meditations and age-specific parenting resources (English, Spanish, 10+ languages): Parents Anonymous Resources
• No books, other podcasts, specific courses, or YouTube channels were mentioned in this episode.

In this episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer sits down with Nicholas Schmitt, Senior Director of Conflict Resolution and Training at Community Mediation Services in Queens, NY, to discuss practical strategies for handling difficult conversations. Whether it’s political discourse at family gatherings or heated debates among neighbors, Nicholas Schmitt shares expert tips for setting boundaries, remaining connected, and fostering brave, productive dialogue. The episode covers ways to navigate emotional triggers, establish healthy guidelines, and utilize mediation—even outside formal settings. Pamela Brewer and Nicholas Schmitt unpack what it means to approach conflicts with empathy and mindfulness, empowering listeners to engage more constructively year-round.

Topics Covered

• Setting boundaries before gatherings
• Managing triggering topics during family or social events
• Exiting conversations respectfully and maintaining connection

Key Takeaways

• Most political and emotional disagreements stem from underlying shared values, but different reasoning.
• Setting boundaries and having prepared phrases help prevent conversations from going awry.
• Hosts can bring structure to gatherings by creating spaces for challenging discussions and reminding participants of guidelines.
• It’s okay to exit a stressful conversation and prioritize your wellbeing without blaming others.

Top Quotes

1. “We operate from a space of intuitive values, and then we search for reasons from there for why we have those values.” — Nicholas Schmitt
2. “Come up with maybe some boundary phrases, so you're not hit by surprise and your brain goes blank when that topic comes up.” — Nicholas Schmitt
3. “There's no better way to break connection with another person than to say, ‘You are the problem and you are the reason we're breaking connection.’” — Nicholas Schmitt

Connect with the Guest

• Website: mediatenyc.org
• Email: nschmitt@mediatenyc.org
• Phone: 718-523-6868

Resources List

• Community Mediation Services: mediatenyc.org
• Contact: nschmitt@mediatenyc.org, 718-523-6868
• Mediation referral information (for nationwide options): Reach out to Community Mediation Services or visit their website for help finding local organizations
• Training courses offered: Conflict resolution skills, positive communication, initial mediation training (inquire via website or contact info above)