Épisodes

  • Two Therapists in Bed Talk: Can Men Say No to Casual Sex? (And Other Big Questions We Avoid)
    Sep 3 2025
    From sex myths to second chances, safe choices to stuck seasons - John and Vanessa answer real listener questions from bed. You’ll hear why gendered scripts about sex don’t serve us, what really matters before getting back with an ex, how to choose the “risky” path without regret, and why feeling unmotivated can be a necessary pause - not a personal failure. What you’ll learn Can men say no to casual sex? (and why the answer matters) Exes & ego: new tracks vs. old dynamics Ditch “right vs. wrong” decisions; choose what’s honest now Motivation is overrated; integration time builds strength Links & mentions Vanessa’s book: The Motherhood Myth HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    26 min
  • Why Your World Feels Small (and How to Redefine Life Before It’s Too Late)
    Sep 1 2025
    Sometimes life forces you to hit reset. For me, it was losing my house. For you, it might be a breakup, a career shift, or just that nagging feeling that life is smaller than it should be. In this walk-and-talk episode from Costa Rica, I share how I’ve been redefining everything: happiness, relationships, play, even what “success” means. The truth is - growth doesn’t come from routines. It comes from curiosity, from being willing to reimagine your definitions. You’ll hear stories of: My second rebirth at 52 How living abroad reshaped my creativity and sense of play Why redefining doesn’t require moving countries—it can start with friendships, hobbies, or daily joy The hidden power of changing your environment My challenge for you: What’s one thing you can redefine this week? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    14 min
  • Sh*t You Wouldn’t Ask Your Therapist | Heartbreak Hurts Here's Why
    Aug 28 2025
    In today’s episode, John Kim takes on your raw, unfiltered questions about love — from the heartbreak of seeing an ex with someone new, to the chaos of dating in your 40s, to navigating loneliness, trauma, and self-worth. It’s the real talk you’ve been craving: messy, honest, and maybe the perspective you need to keep moving forward. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    23 min
  • When You Shut the Door on Miracles
    Aug 27 2025
    What if it’s not the big traumas that hold us back, but the tiny cracks in how we think each day? In this episode, John Kim and Vanessa unpack how we unconsciously block miracles - through catastrophizing, over-stimulation, and self-protection - and how small shifts in mindset can open the door to flow, joy, and unexpected magic. If this helped, hit subscribe for practical, no-fluff relationship tools. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    21 min
  • Still Stuck on Your Ex | This is Why
    Aug 25 2025
    Closure isn’t a door you wait to have slammed shut - it’s a bridge you build. In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim breaks the biggest “closure” myths and shows you how to move forward without an apology, a perfect explanation, or one last text. If you’ve felt stuck in relationship residue, this is your map. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why “waiting for closure” keeps you stuck Acceptance over answers (and why that heals faster) How to generate closure without contact Turning an expired relationship into a stronger self Realism > idealism: healing as a process, not an event Community & service as fuel for resilience If this helped, follow the show on Spotify and share it with someone who needs it today. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    16 min
  • Stop Guessing Their Love: Say What Lands
    Aug 20 2025
    A 30-second, playful moment sparked this episode - and a reminder: love isn’t generic. We break down how to speak love so it lands without abandoning yourself, especially when partners differ. What you’ll learn (10 takeaways): Love isn’t generic - different emotional blueprints How to avoid the “I’m giving everything, it’s still not enough” trap Building emotional safety so defenses drop Reducing resentment & energy burnout Deepening intimacy beyond the physical Faster conflict repair by making the nervous system feel safe Future-proofing with regular “What makes you feel most loved?” check-ins Co-regulation: why the right love calms insecure attachment Turning micro-moments into daily bonding rituals Why guessing breaks trust (love is a skill) Try this today: Ask your partner, “What lands for you this week?” Then do one unexpected gesture in their way of receiving love (a short note, a quick chore, five phone-free minutes together, a gentle touch, a tiny gift). If this helped, hit subscribe for practical, no-fluff relationship tools.Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    26 min
  • From Nauseous Nights to Perfect Mornings | Life in Costa Rica
    Aug 18 2025
    In this episode, licensed therapist John Kim takes you inside his personal journey of building a new life in Costa Rica - the highs, the lows, and the unexpected lessons about presence, clarity, and decision-making. From nausea-inducing dirt roads to perfect mornings surfing in Costa Rica, John unpacks how life-changing decisions aren’t made in one big moment… but in a collection of small ones. You’ll learn: Why clarity about life, love, and career comes from moments, not constant certainty How to notice and “bank” the moments that matter when deciding whether to move abroad, who to love, or what path to take The challenges of living in Costa Rica - from unpaved roads to missing city comforts and the surprising joys that outweigh them How being present is the only way to truly capture moments (and how most of us miss them) Why life’s “yes” often comes from an accumulation of tiny affirmations rather than a single sign Join the conversation! What moments have shaped your biggest life decisions? Have you noticed when your “piggy bank” of yeses finally tipped the scale? Share your story with us. Like this episode? Please LIKE & FOLLOW for more unfiltered conversations about expat life, self-discovery, and building a life that actually feels like yours. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    16 min
  • Sh*t You Wouldn’t Ask Your Therapist | The Truth About Breakups
    Aug 14 2025
    In today’s episode, John Kim answers raw, unfiltered listener questions on the theme of breakups and divorce — the things you’d never dare ask your therapist. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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    18 min