You weren't born nice. You were trained.

By mothers who were trained.

By systems that still benefit from your silence.

In this episode, you'll hear a casual girlfriend chat with Lesa Koski where we unearth the origins of our people-pleasing, the masks we wear to feel safe, and the slow-burning bravery it takes to start telling the truth.

Lesa and I unmask our Good Girls, and give you practical strategies so you can do it too.

Because underneath the mask of the Good Girl is a Queen ready to rise.

Lesa Koski is a wife, mother, grandmother, mediator, coach, and host of the Saddle Up Live podcast. Her journey has been anything but ordinary, but every twist and turn has brought her to a place where she now helps others live their best lives.

Connect with Lesa here

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Think you've outgrown your good girl programming? Think again. These 10 subtle habits might be sabotaging your power - and keeping you small without even realizing it.

You might not be saying 'yes' when you mean 'no' anymore - but the good girl still has her sticky little fingers in you. In this packed episode, I'm revealing 10 sneaky ways the good girl still shows up in your everyday life, and what to do instead.

From overexplaining to emotional shapeshifting, I'll break down the behaviours that seem harmless, but are actually keeping you stuck silenced, and small. If you're ready to step into your full, selfish, sovereign self, this one's for you.

Resources/Links:

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FREE: Guide to Decentering Men & Taking Your Throne

Too many women think that taking the high road makes them strong, wise, or 'the bigger person.' But what if that road is actually keeping you stuck in self-abandonment, silence, and disappointment?

In this episode, I break down why the high road can be a trap, what to do instead, and how decentering men frees you to finally choose yourself.

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This is the one I've been waiting to record.

In this final episode before The Selfish Year enters the world, I'm sharing the five lessons that truly saved me when I started over - from divorce, from the pain, from the life that looked good but felt empty.

These aren't tips. They're confessions. I wrote this book in blood, and I'm telling you the truth behind every chapter.

If you've ever felt stuck, invisible, or like you're pretending to live a life that isn't yours, this episode is your invitation to stop waiting.

It's not too late to choose yourself.

But it is the last week to pre-order The Selfish Year and support the book that starts a movement!

CLICK HERE to pre-order The Selfish Year and get your gift: The Selfish Woman Starter Kit (includes a Manifesto, the 7 Sacred Laws of the Selfish Woman, and a curated playlist I made to accompany the book)

Tag me with your book! IG: @thevaleriejones

You're not meant to survive your life. You're meant to own it.

Love you. Mean it.

Val

In this week's episode, I'm joined by Martine Cohen - author, speaker, and transformative coach - who brings a powerful blend of intellect and intuition to the conversation around healing, identity, and reclaiming your power from the inside out.

After a traumatic car accident and concussion changed the trajectory of her life, Martine began a deep journey into her own psyche, peeling back the subconscious layers that were blocking her light. What she discovered led her to write a book: No More Layers: Discover You Inner Power and Reclaim True Freedom from the Inside Out - a guide to navigating fear, breaking free from old beliefs, and returning home to who you truly are.

Martine's work is all about alignment, not performance. In this conversation, we talk about:

• Why true transformation isn't about adding more, but shedding what's not yours
• The tension between intellect and intuition
• How a breakdown can become the most sacred doorway to freedom
• The sneaky ways 'success' can become a mask
• What it really means to live from the inside out

This one's for every woman who's tired of the masks, ready to reclaim her wholeness, and willing to meet herself beneath the layers.

Martine's Website

Feedspot Top 80 Badass Female Podcast List

Sometimes, the truth doesn't arrive with fireworks. It shows up quietly...in the middle of the night...on your sofa.

In this episode, I read an excerpt from my new book, The Selfish Year - the moment I realized I couldn't stay in my marriage one second longer. The pain of staying had finally outweighed the fear of leaving.

We all have a 'sofa moment' - that still, undeniable instant when the life we've built no longer fits. Are you ignoring yours? Minimizing it? Or are you ready to hear it, and let it move you into action?

This is your invitation to stop pretending you don't know.

Pre-order The Selfish Year now, and step into the life that's waiting for you.

PRE-ORDER HERE

Let's be real: how many hours have you spent replaying that moment, that choice, that mistake, wondering if you'd just ruined everything? Cringing in guilt and shame, and feeling like a failure?

This episode is your permission slip to let yourself off the hook.

In this raw and powerful conversation with bestselling author Jennifer Pastiloff, we dive inthe the shame stories women carry around motherhood, art, body image, relationships, and success. Jen shares her journey through grief, loss, and the beautiful mess of rebuilding. She reminds us that not only did we not fuck it up, but maybe...we can't.

Jen and I talk about her new book, Proof of Life: Let go, let love, and stop looking for permission to live your life.

• We share the hilarious/mortifying/magical way we connected with each other and our mutual journey from shame into love.
• Shame Loss: how to let go of the "I'm bad" belief.
• The life hack Jen uses to stop saying 'sorry' all the time.
• The magic of staying open, even when you want to hide.

Jen brings humor, vulnerability, deep compassion and bold truth in this episode, and I know you'll come away with a renewed belief in your life, and a permission slip to live it.

Get your copy of Proof of Life

Preorder The Selfish Year

We've been told our whole lives not to want too much, need too much, or ask for more.

So we don't. We shrink, we wait, and we hope someone notices and gives it to us anyway.

And then we wonder why we're so tired, resentful, and invisible.

This episode is your wake-up call.

I'm pulling back the curtain on the hardest thing I've done lately: Asking for what I want, for what I deserve. I share the origin story of my book, The Selfish Year - the miserable woman I used to be, and the moment I stopped waiting for someone to save me.

You'll hear:

• Why asking feels so wrong, and why that's a lie.
• How we betray ourselves when we don't ask.
• What selfish actually means for women who are ready to save themselves.
• Why The Selfish Year isn't just a book...it's a rebellion.

If you've ever wanted more, but felt guilty for even saying it, this is for you.

And yes, I'm asking too: Please pre-order The Selfish Year!

Pre-order here and get The Selfish Woman Starter Kit as a big thank you from moi.