Showing results by publisher "Blackstone Audio, Inc." in Humour

Coke and Pepsi McDonald didn’t want to jump off a cliff. They didn't want to get hit by poisoned darts from blowguns either. And they certainly don't want to get locked in their burning school, thrown into a pit at the top of a sand dune, or drowned in a vat of liquefied Spam. But what are you supposed to do when you’re being chased across the country by your insane health teacher and two guys in bowler hats who are trying to kill you? One thing's for sure, it'll be a snap for Coke and Pep to write their essays on "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

Miles and Niles find themselves marooned for the summer at Camp Good Times, which is all about peace and good vibes. (Can you say boring?) With no clear prank-ortunities, the Terrible Two fail to see what about all of this is so good. But when kids from the nearby Yawnee Valley Yelling and Push-Ups Camp raid Good Times' super-secret candy stash, the campers look to Miles and Niles for help.

It's Miles' and Niles' final year at Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy, and the Terrible Two have one goal: an epic prank. Something big, something brilliant, something that will leave a lasting legacy at their school. It should be easy-peasy for these experts, especially now that their principal has gone from archnemesis to pranking protege. But their smooth sailing gets downright bumpy when they find out that the new superintendent is none other than Bertrand Barkin, their principal's father...and their sworn enemy.

The wackiest road trip in history continues in book four of the New York Times best-selling Genius Files series, following twins Coke and Pepsi as they dodge villains and visit weird-but-true landmarks from Texas all the way to Roswell, New Mexico. With the real-kid humor that has earned him millions of fans around the world, and featuring all-new weird-but-true locations around America, From Texas with Love is absolutely batty!

Miles Murphy had it made. He lived in a great town near the ocean, he had two best friends, and most importantly, he had a reputation for being his town's best prankster. All of which explains why he's not happy to bemoving to Yawnee Valley, a sleepy town that's famous for one thing and one thing only: cows. Worse than that, Miles quickly discovers that Yawnee Valley already has a prankster - and a great one. If Miles is going to take the title from this mystery kid, he'll have to raise his game.

On their own, pranksters Miles and Niles were pretty devious. Now that they've formed a pranking duo, they're terrible! But their powers will be tested when their favorite nemesis, Principal Barkin, is replaced by his stern and cunning father, former Principal Barkin. Now Miles and Niles will do just about anything to get their old antagonist back - including pranking alongside him.

Coke and Pepsi McDonald never asked to be geniuses. They never asked to get lowered into a basket of boiling french fries, either. And they certainly never asked to be frozen in soft-serve ice cream, stampeded in a wild stadium riot, or kidnapped on a high-speed roller coaster. But that's what happens when a red-haired villain named Archie Clone is chasing you across America. This just might be the most dangerous road trip in history - and the most awesome!

Fourteen-year-old Ozzy lives near Portland, Oregon, and is desperate for help. His scientist parents have been kidnapped after discovering a formula that enables mind control. Their work was so top secret that Ozzy is afraid to go to the police, but without help, he fears he'll never find his parents. Then he stumbles across a classified ad in the local newspaper that says "Wizard for Hire. Call 555-SPEL." Ozzy has read about wizards in books like Harry Potter, but wizards couldn't exist today, could they? After Ozzy meets the wizard Labyrinth - a.k.a. Rin - he's even more skeptical.

When the Tooting family finds an old engine and fits it to their camper van, they have no idea what kind of adventure lies ahead. The engine used to belong to an extraordinary car, and it wants its bodywork back! But as the Tootings hurtle across the world rebuilding the original Chitty, a sinister baddie is on their trail - one who will stop at nothing to get the magnificent car for himself.

Just when they think they are safe, theMcDonald twins are chased by an evil Elvis impersonator, trapped in a pool of flesh-eating soda pop, nearly pulverized in a giant shredder, and crushed in a turbo-charged carnival ride. Worst of all, no one believes them! Will they make it out alive? Will they ever find out who's really after them? All bets are off in this explosive third book in the Genius Files series.

The Tootings are stuck in 1966! Somebody has stolen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and left them behind - but that's not their biggest problem. Their biggest problem is that Little Harry has been kidnapped by whoever stole their magical car. There's only one solution: the Tootings must find the Potts - the family that originally built Chitty.

Nim lives on an island in the middle of the wide blue sea, shared by only her father, Jack, a marine iguana called Fred, a sea lion called Selkie, a turtle called Chica, and a satellite dish for her e-mail. No one else in the world lives quite like Nim, and she wouldn't swap places with anyone.

When the Tootings return to Zobrowski Terrace at the end of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Flies Again, they find that home is looking a lot like Jurassic Park. But this is no theme park - a very real and very hungry Tyrannosaurus rex is charging them! Thanks to Dad inadvertently yanking Chitty's "Chronojuster" lever, the spirited car has flown them back to prehistoric times, where the family - and especially Baby Harry - has a narrow escape.

When Milton and Marlo Fauster die in a marshmallow-bear explosion, they get sent straight to Heck, an otherworldly reform school. Milton can understand why his kleptomaniac sister is here, but Milton is—or was—a model citizen. Has a mistake been made? Not according to Bea “Elsa” Bubb, the Principal of Darkness....

In The Tempest, long considered one of Shakespeare’s most lyrical plays, Prospero, a sorcerer, and his daughter, Miranda, have been stranded on an enchanted island for 12 years. When a shipwreck—caused by the eponymous tempest—brings enemies to the island, the stage is set for comedy, romance, and reconciliation.

Inspired by Disney Animation Studios' latest film, Moana, this middle grade novel features characters and adventures based on the rich culture of Oceania. It includes original content in the form of mini folktales interspersed throughout the story of the film.

What do you do when it seems like everyone in your family has done something magnificent, everyone, that is, except you? That's Andy's problem. He just wants to do something special.

When a crotchety, down-on-his-luck old man turns up as a temporary employee in Lindsie's father's bookshop, she and her friend Evan feel sorry for him. But after they follow him to his makeshift home, Mr. S. Kronos (aka Father Time) drags them on a wild ride through 5,000 years of hilarious history, insisting they meet the calendar's creators. Lindsie and Evan will never take the calendar for granted again.

In 1890s South Dakota, Amy and Joshua escape from their mean aunt Vootch. They plan to find their grandparents in New York and manage to team up with a traveling magician, Mortimer Wintergreen, who is also New York bound. Mortimer owns a truly magic hat with a temperamental, mischievous mind of its own. Adventures abound as their way is blocked by outlaws, runaway hot-air balloons, geese, and the persistent Aunt Vootch - but the hat is always ready for action.

The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth. He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory. His name is Tom Parking. With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom’s fate is sealed: he’s been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.