Épisodes

  • You’re Not Selfish: The Truth About Healing After Toxic Love

    You’re Not Selfish: The Truth About Healing After Toxic Love
    Sep 9 2025
    Have you ever been called selfish for leaving a toxic relationship… or for finally saying NO? You’re not alone — and you’re not selfish. In this empowering episode, Christy Jade unpacks why women are labeled selfish after walking away from toxic love, and how to reframe those accusations as proof you’re actually healing. You’ll learn: ✅ Why abusers (and even family) weaponize the word “selfish” ✅ The truth about protecting your peace after toxic love ✅ A simple script + somatic reset to stop the guilt spiral ✨ Special Listener Offer: Need the exact words to shut down drama and protect your peace? My brand-new Copy.Paste.Peace Scripts give you ready-to-use responses for co-parents, toxic exes, family, or anyone trying to guilt-trip you. No more freezing up or second-guessing — just calm, confident replies that stop the chaos before it starts. They’re normally $37, but as a podcast listener, you can grab them today for just $17 with code PEACE → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/copy-paste-peace-fast-37/?coupon=PEACE 💖 Join the Community: Connect with other women healing from narcissistic abuse inside my free private Facebook group → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 👑 Work With Me 1:1: Ready to go deeper? Book a Reclaiming You coaching session and get personalized support to heal, rise, and rebuild → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello, gorgeous queen. You are looking beautiful today by the way. Just a side note. Alright, so we're going to talk about being selfish today. Okay? Have you ever been called selfish for walking away from your toxic situation? Whether it was a romantic situation, walking away from a family member or a lifelong friend, just someone at church, whatever it is, we're going to set the record straight. You are not selfish, okay? Protecting your peace after toxic anything is one of the most courageous and healing things you can do for yourself. So we'll dive in. Stay tuned. (00:41) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christy wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:39) One of the most common things I hear from women who have actually left the toxic relationship is they said, I'm selfish or I'm cold, right? So this could be your ex, maybe it's your own mom, maybe it's someone from your church community, someone in your workspace if you quit a job and it stings because deep down you've already given so much. But here's the truth, women who finally stand up and say, I cannot do this anymore, almost always get slapped with the label of selfish, cold, or even narcissistic themselves. Why? Well, because abusers and controlling people need to keep you in their system. And one of the easiest ways to guilt you back in is to make you question your goodness. So if you're a caring, empathetic woman, which you are, they know that calling you selfish will hit you right in the heart. They know that is your soft spot because that's actually your comfort, your pride in yourself is that you're not selfish. (02:53) You are an empath. You are giving and caring, and you do put people often before yourself. You're finally putting yourself first because you absolutely rock bottom, have to. And now they're going to twist it to call you selfish or a narcissist, right? Sometimes it's not even the abuser, usually it is, but it can also be outsiders. It can be mutual friends with the abuser. It can be family like other family members. If it's a family member, friends, people in religious circles who have been taught women should sacrifice endlessly no matter what. They don't get it. Or they've also bought into the idea that if you're not pouring yourself out 24 7, you're failing. And that's just a no. We're in 2025. People welcome. Okay? So let me tell you, being called selfish in those moments, it's not a sign you're doing something wrong. It's a sign you're finally doing something, right? (03:56) So you know what? From now on when someone says selfish, just say thank you in your head. Thanks. Because you know why they're saying it. It's for their own selfish reasons. It's not actually about you, okay? It's often just the word people...
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    14 min
  • A 5-Minute Practice to Quiet Self-Doubt After Narcissistic Abuse

    A 5-Minute Practice to Quiet Self-Doubt After Narcissistic Abuse
    Sep 4 2025
    When self-doubt creeps in—“Did I overreact? Am I being too much?”—it’s easy to spiral. In this mini-episode, I’ll guide you through a simple 5-minute somatic practice to calm your body, quiet the guilt loop, and anchor back into your truth. 👑 Resources & Links Mentioned in this Episode ✨ Freebie: Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💻 Coaching: Work with me 1:1 to reclaim your peace & power: Reclaiming You Session (90-min) → 00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen, this one's for you. Hey Queen, welcome to your Thrive in five, your quick reset to calm the chaos and reclaim your sparkle. Yes, it looks so good on you. Alright, if you caught Tuesday's episode, which was called Still Doubting Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse, here's how to break the cycle. Then we talked about why the narcissist trains you to question yourself and how to rebuild that self-trust. Well, today I've got a somatic practice you can use anytime that doubt creeps in, think of it as a five minute body reset to quiet that guilt loop and anchor back into your truth. Alright, so step one, name the doubt. Start by simply naming the thought or question running in your head. (01:07) Maybe it's, did I overreact or am I being too much? Say it out loud or whisper it if you must or scream it on the top of a hill. Naming it gives it less power. It stops being this swirl that's on loop in your head and becomes something you can actually observe. And we do a lot of this in somatic healing. If you've done sessions with me, we can beat the observer of things, which helps heal them. It puts a light on them, helps heal them, helps us move in a different direction, have a different perspective. So even just naming it is a step in the right direction. So number two, you can do a body. You can place one hand on your chest or stomach and take a slow grounding breath in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. This is a halo breath. And ask yourself, what is my body feeling right now? Is it tightness? Is it fear? Is it calm? What's going on in there? This pulls you into the present moment instead of letting your mind spin in the past, right? So it's that present moment, body check-in. Step three, the truth anchor. Okay, so here's where we shift the energy. Repeat after me or you can make it your own. If I set this boundary, it's because I needed peace. (02:43) Peace is not wrong, right? Let's say that last part again. Peace is not wrong, it's right, okay? And you keep breathing slowly as you repeat it. Letting nervous system soak in its truth. You can swap in your own phrase like protecting myself is love, or my feelings are valid. That's a huge one that we really need to reiterate to ourselves after going through abuse. Alright, then step four, a visual reset. So look around the room and find one comforting thing to rest your eyes on. It could be a candle, a favorite mug, a photo that makes you smile. I have a palm tree in my bedroom and that is my favorite place to focus when I'm trying to do a visual reset. I love palm trees, I love the beach. It just brings me to that happy space. So find whatever happy, comforting object you can and let your gaze stay in there. (03:54) Stay there until your body softens. So just keep staring. Might feel weird at first, but just let your gaze stare and eventually your body will soften, you will relax more. Your nervous system is focusing on this comforting thing, this comforting feeling. And it's starting to say, I'm safe. I'm safe in this moment. I'm safe with my palm tree. So look, the narcissist may have trained you to doubt yourself. Yeah, they did. But every time you pause, you breathe, you anchor in your truth, not their narrative. You're retraining your body to trust you again. So you can practice this anytime that your self-doubt sneaks in and save this episode. These little thrive in fives are great to just play. Any time you're having spinning out in your head or your body feels tense, any mind, body, spirit, deflation is a great time to just come back to one of your saved episodes. (05:14) That's why I try to make them nice and quick, but effective. So if you Miss Tuesday's full episode, definitely you want to go back and listen to that because pairing these insights with the somatic support is how you really break the cycle. I talk about the mindset and the somatic side. So we do a lot of the mindset and discussing the why's and how's and more logistical stuff on those Tuesday episodes. And then Thursday it's all about the body because the body remembers. So we want to rewire, reset and just chill the hell out and sparkle. Alright, so you guys, you're not broken. You're not damaged. You're that solid gold block that just got a bunch of shit poured all over you, a bunch of dirt and mud, and...
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    9 min
  • Still Doubting Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse? Here’s How to Break the Cycle

    Still Doubting Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse? Here’s How to Break the Cycle
    Sep 2 2025
    🎙️ Still Doubting Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse? Here’s How to Break the Cycle Are you stuck second-guessing yourself, even after leaving the narcissist? In this episode, I’ll show you how to break the guilt loop and start trusting yourself again. 👑 Resources & Links Mentioned in this Episode ✨ Freebie: Grab your Boundaries Pocket Guide here → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💻 1:1 Coaching: Ready to go deeper? Work with me privately: Reclaiming You Session (90-min deep dive) → 00:00): Ever catch yourself replaying arguments in your head, wondering if you overreacted or feeling guilty for protecting your peace. That's not because you're broken. It's because narcissistic abuse trains you to doubt yourself. So today I'm going to help you break that cycle, rebuild that self-trust and step into the peace you deserve. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. (01:07) So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. Alright, queen, let's get real. One of the biggest wounds after narcissistic abuse is the constant questioning of yourself. You say no to someone and then you lie awake at night thinking, was that too harsh? Should I have said yes? You might block their number and then feel a rush of guilt. Just this overwhelmingly off feeling in your body. You're not alone. Here's why. Narcissists actually condition you to doubt yourself through their gaslighting. If you don't know what gaslighting is, it's when they make you question your own memory, your own feelings, or even your sanity. So this is a real thing, and over time you start second guessing everything, even after you've left them. (02:19) The echo of that doubt, it still lingers, but let me remind you that echo, it's not true. This is not your truth. It's programming that we can undo and we can rewrite. So let's talk about the guilt aspect. A lot of you in my community and my Facebook group, whatever, if you're not in that, by the way, go to the show notes and totally click the link and join us. Said guilt is what holds you back. You're finally setting a boundary or you go no contact and that wave of guilt hits. Here's the truth though, guilt doesn't always mean you're wrong. I'm going to say that again. Guilt does not always mean you're wrong. Sometimes it's just an old alarm system going off because you did something new and different than the old you would've done to stay safe, right? This new you is feeling weird doing something different even though it's the right thing to do and it's okay to do and you shouldn't feel guilty. (03:31) That old self did it to feel safe. So you are comfortable in that feeling, right? In the saying yes, in the people pleasing and the walking on eggshells, and now you're like, I got to stop doing this. So we're not doing it. And your body's just taking a little time to catch up. Okay? So think about it. If you were raised or conditioned to believe your worth was in pleasing others or this specific person, then standing up for yourself will feel unnatural at first, right? That makes sense. But that guilt is a sign that you are breaking these maybe even generational patterns. That's some bad ass shit, queen. Okay? You are rewriting your story. That guilt shows you are changing for the better. So the next time guilt shows up, instead of asking, am I a bad person? Try asking yourself this. Am I protecting my peace? Am I acting in alignment with my healing? And that's okay to do. Absolutely. It's not wrong. It's actually right. It's the right thing to do is to have peace and love and be peace and love and heal these wounds we have, right? Flip that script. (05:00) So here's where we start breaking the cycle for good, rebuilding yourself. Trust this. A lot of you have this issue I did too, right? Rebuilding after you've gone through abuse and been betrayed. Okay? So there's three key steps you can do. There may be more, but these are some good starters. Okay? Number one, a daily check-in. So one of the tools I swear by, and you may have heard it already, I talk about it a lot, I love it. It's simple, but really, really successful is a hell yes, hell no list. So you can write down what feels good in your body and life and what drains ...
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    17 min
  • How to Protect Your Peace from a Narcissist in 5 Minutes

    How to Protect Your Peace from a Narcissist in 5 Minutes
    Aug 28 2025
    Narcissists hate your peace—because when you’re calm, their control slips away. That’s why they poke and prod the moment you start to feel steady. In this Thrive in Five, I’ll share: ✨ Why your calm threatens their power ✨ A quick somatic reset you can do in minutes ✨ How to guard your peace like the crown jewel it is 👑 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Welcome to your Thrive in five. This is your five minute pause from the chaos, the guilt trips, and the narcissist, endless drama bombs. All right, so take a breath queen. This one is for you all tied up in a little bow just for you. Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to Take a breath Queen. This one's for you. Today. We are going to talk about why the narcissists hate your piece a little bit, but more importantly, how to guard it quickly. We're going to do a little somatic tooling today. If you want to go deeper in, if you did not already listen to Tuesday's episode, please go listen to that as well. And you could save this and come back to it. Maybe listen to that first, or if you just have a few minutes, definitely try out this tool and save the other podcast because they go hand in hand every Tuesday, Thursday. (01:04) We've got two little buddy episodes. Okay, so here's the thing. When you're calm and you're at peace, right? And you might be getting there right now, you might be feeling it, but when you're truly there, you are untouchable. You're unshakeable. Your nervous system stops reacting to their chaos and their power then slips through their fingers. So if you're starting to feel emboldened, you're starting to feel independent, you're starting to feel like you are getting out or are out of their web. Finally, they will show up. That's why they poke, they prod, they stir up the conflict because you're finding peace and they don't like it. Again, I touched on that a lot more deeply in Tuesday's episode, but here's what they don't know. Peace can be practiced and it can be guarded. So this is something you can absolutely get, even if you're not totally there yet, you can practice it and then you can guard it and maintain it. (02:19) And obviously working with me one-on-one is the best way to do that. I'll always put my how to work with me one-on-one options in my show notes. That is going to be your best way to get the transformation. I mean, hey, I'm going to pat myself on my back. These episodes, these podcasts, they are great. They got some good tools. I really try to give a lot of free information, but I cannot talk to each one of you in a customized way through this podcast, which I would love to do, but I can't do it. So that's where the one-on-one real true, deep, long lasting transformation works where we do somatic healing, mindset work, everything, right? So today's tool, we'll do a quick nervous system reset right now. So step one, you're going to place both feet firmly on the floor, right? You get grounded, baby, you look good, grounded as you inhale, imagine breathing in the calm. (03:20) And you could put a color. I love to make a golden light. Anything calm for me? You could make it light blue. You could make a no color as long as you're feeling calm when you're breathing it in. So the inhales, you're going to do ...
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    9 min
  • Why Narcissists Hate Your Peace (And How to Guard It Anyway)

    Why Narcissists Hate Your Peace (And How to Guard It Anyway)
    Aug 26 2025
    💬 Episode Description (Show Notes): Why do narcissists hate your peace so much? In this episode, Christy breaks down why your calm threatens their control, the sneaky ways they try to shake it, and simple tools to guard your peace like the crown jewel it is. ✨ 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ TRANSCRIPT Why does it feel like every time you finally get calm, the narcissist in your life stirs up that drama? Today I'm sharing why your piece is such a threat to them and the exact tools you can use to guard it like the crown jewel. It is. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice and how to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so why do these narcissists hate our peace so much? First of all, they survive on control, drama, and emotional chaos. So your piece means they are losing their influence on you, right? They want to shake you up. They want to keep you chaotic in your brain. So think of it like this. Your piece is evidence that you know longer need them. Again, your piece is evidence that you no longer need them and that terrifies them. Their ego, you know how big their egos are, okay? Their ego feeds on reaction. So that could be angers, tears defending yourself, but silence and calm. That starves them. It starves their ego, it starves that needing to be fed that they have, right? So how did they attack your piece? You probably know, but we'll go through a few little examples. First, there's the drama bombs, right? The sudden emergencies, which we talked about last week. Even with the texting, they exaggerate things, say they're emergencies. Things are important when you're finally relaxing. Of course the text barrages, right? So they're endless messages when you've gone no contact or gray rock. So if you haven't blocked 'em and you can still see you just aren't responding or writing to them at all, you could definitely end up with a lot of messages. They get very compulsive about it. Basically desperate to get a response from you, right? The guilt trips, this could be you've changed or you don't care about family or you don't care about whatever anymore, right? These guilt trips, when they see a change to make you feel bad about that change, by the way, don't feel bad about that change, right? And the lovely smear campaigns. So this is stirring others up against you when you won't react to them directly. So this is designed to pull you out of calm because in peace you can think clearly. They don't like that because clear thinking means their mask can slip, you can outsmart them. We have a podcast on how to outsmart narcissists. It can be done not when ...
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    16 min
  • How to Handle Narcissist Texts in Minutes (Without Losing Your Peace)

    How to Handle Narcissist Texts in Minutes (Without Losing Your Peace)
    Aug 21 2025
    Narcissists love sending ‘urgent’ texts to hijack your peace. In this episode, Christy explains why they do it and how to shut it down fast—so you can stay calm, confident, and in control 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath Queen. This one's for you. All right, queen, let's talk about that moment. Your phone dings and suddenly your peace is gone. It's the narcissist and the message is urgent. Or at least they say it is. Maybe it's call me now or it's an emergency, or it's important answer or even as low as the kids need. You sound familiar? Well, here's what you need to know. Those out of nowhere or urgent type texts are rarely about real emergencies. They're about control. A narcs favorite word. Alright? So a narcissist wants you to yank out of your calm, especially if you're doing well, you're moving on. Ooh, that irks them, right? They want to spike your anxiety and test if they still have access to you, if you're still going to take the bait, if you're still going to respond. (01:22) I always say, don't take the bait, keep it very simple. Gray rock method. We talked about that on Tuesday's episode, speaking of which, this episode is related to Tuesday's episode, which was all about these texts, and today is just a quick tool to handle them, basically handling those fake emergency texts. So step one, pause. Do not reply instantly. And we mentioned this in Tuesdays, but that's a quick note, right? Just pause. The pause puts you back in the driver's seat. So when you feel like stressed out, when you read it, take a breath and pause. Two, check the facts. Is it truly urgent? If it's not about your kid's safety or something, life or death, it can wait. Step three, respond and don't react. Keep it short, neutral and business-like that. Gray rock method. So an example, and I go over this all more in depth than Tuesday's episode if you didn't listen, so that will be in the show notes. (02:37) Example is noted. I'll handle it when I'm able to, period. Okay? No overexplaining anything. No getting emotional. Keep it to the basics. To the facts. Okay? So the next time your phone lights up with a fake emergency from your least favorite narc, remember, you are not at their beck and call, okay? Your piece is what's important. Your piece is what's urgent, and you decide when and how you engage. Girl, you got your damn power back, right? That's what we're doing here. Shining our crowns, getting our power right? So if you want more scripts or strategies, how to navigate all this stuff, grab my free Boundaries pocket guide as a start, and then if you want to work one-on-one and do customize scripts, customize strategies, that's where the real transformations happen. I always have the ways to work with me one-on-one in my show notes, so check it out. (03:46) And you can also join my free Facebook community with other ladies like you. I drop some truth bombs out there and I always put the podcast episodes. Sometimes I'll do some videos. So definitely go join that community. What else? I guess that's it. That's it. It's pretty, this might be my shortest episode ever. How crazy. Wow. Under four minutes. All right, give me a high five through the screen. Give yourself a little queen hug and I'll see you in the next episode. Don't forget to follow this podcast too, and help me help more people. Love.
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    5 min
  • Why Narcissists Text You Out of Nowhere (And How to Shut It Down)

    Why Narcissists Text You Out of Nowhere (And How to Shut It Down)
    Aug 19 2025
    Your phone dings. It’s the narcissist. “Emergency.” “Call me now.” “Why are you ignoring me?” These out-of-nowhere texts aren’t random — they’re tactics to pull you back into chaos. In this episode, Christy shares: 🔥 Why narcissists drop “urgent” messages 📱 The most common manipulations (fake emergencies, guilt trips, drama bombs) 🚪 How to shut it down without losing your peace ✨ Resources + Ways to Work With Me 👑 Free Boundaries Pocket Guide Grab your quick-start guide to boundaries that actually stick → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ Monthly Package → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3-Month Transformational Coaching → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ Email me with questions: fiercemamac@gmail.com 🎧 Free Private Support Facebook Group Come join the community and connect with other women who get it → https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💻 Self-Paced Empowered Boundaries Course 10 modules, scripts, meditations + lifetime access → https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Grey Rock Method Episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 TRANSCRIP Speaker 1 (00:02): Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christy wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:01) Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. I'm Christie. This is your guide to reclaiming peace, protecting your sex ass power and thriving, not just surviving after narcissistic abuse. And today we're going to talk about one of the sneakiest and most triggering tactics. Narcissists love to use. I've been through it myself. The random out of nowhere texts, if you're co-parenting, you've lived this probably a hundred times. If you're not, you may still deal with it. Pretty sure you have the Hoover text. These little attempts are sometimes big to reel you back in. But either way, the goal for them is the same, to control you, to control your focus and hijack your emotions. So why do they do this? Why? It's mind blowing Because we don't think like them. So it's very hard for us to understand why would someone do this? The lengths they will go and the things they will do, it's not cool. (02:10) So let's break down the psychology first. Narcissists crave what? Control. That's our biggest thing I talk about all the time, right? I should drink every time I hear myself say the word control on this podcast and supply. So they want control and they want supply, right? Feeding their ego, feeding, grabbing your energy, whatever. So when you've created this distance, that loss of control burns them. So they're burning up the fact that you've created a distance in the first place. We kind of know that the random texting is a way to test. Can I still get her attention? Even if it's bad attention, can I still spark that reaction? Right? So it's never about the communication. It's not really about whatever they're asking you or egging you to respond to. It's about power and intrusion, intrusion on your mind, intrusion on your soul in whatever way they can. (03:21) Okay? So think about it. Healthy people don't send a three word emergency text at 9:00 PM at 10:00 PM, 11, whatever. That's manipulation. It's not communication. A healthy person would say, Hey, I'm at the hospital with Mindy. Such and such happened. You may want to get over here, or whatever the thing is, right? Looks a little different than the narcissist who dangles what we call a carrot. So you are forced them to react and respond, okay? So that's why. What are the tactics they use? So here are the classics I see over and over. Number one, fake emergencies. Good example. Call me now. Something's wrong with the kids. They'll even pull them into it. But even just call me now by itself. Call me now. I need you to talk. I need you to answer or pick up the phone. I need you to pick up the phone. (04:26) It's important. It's an emergency. This urgent, urgent way of speaking. And nine times out of 10, it's something minor. So they could say something, it has to do with the kids. And then you...
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    19 min
  • Quick Trauma Bond DISCONNECTION

    Quick Trauma Bond DISCONNECTION
    Aug 14 2025
    💬 Episode Description (Show Notes): Feeling the urge to text, check their social, or replay old memories? That’s not love, Queen—that’s the trauma bond talking. In this quick Thrive in 5, Christy shares a 3-minute reset you can use any time those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your power. 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Are you feeling the urge to text, check their social or replay old memories of yours? That's not love queen. That is trauma bonding. It is that trauma bond talking to you in this quick Thrive in five. It's going to be very quick today. I share a three minute reset. You can use anytime those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your sexy ass power. Alright? So this is going to be a short, powerful pause in your week to reset your nervous system, protect that peace bubble. It's looking good on you, by the way, and keep you moving forward in this healing journey. So if you've ever felt that pull to check their social or just one more time, read an old text. That's not love, right? It's not that aeration and good feelings. It can feel desperate, it can feel sad. (00:59) All these icky feelings because that's not really love. That's the trauma bond. And Tuesday, I talked all about it. If you have not listened to Tuesday's episode, it is all about this. So definitely listen to this and then I will go back. Or maybe you want to go back and listen to that first. Either way, make sure you find that episode. And the truth about it is your brain is hooked on those little tiny dopamine hits. Again, I talk all about the dopamine on Tuesday's episode, but it can be love bombing and relief after the chaos. It is an up and down cycle, right? So the trick is to break that loop before your brain convinces you to go back. (01:44) So we're going to do a three minute reset for when the urge hits. Okay? So first we're going to name it out. Say this, right? When you get that urge, you go, this is a trauma bond. Not love, not my soulmate. This is just a bond I'm breaking. So naming it takes away some of its power, especially if you say it out loud. I am so big on saying shit out loud Queens. Number two, ground your body feet flat on the floor. Okay? You look around, this is kind of an orientation thing. You look around, name three blue things. Pick any color that you see. You could take it a step further depending how long you want it to be with sense or textures, feeling whatever you need to do. But you can quickly do three blue things, right? It brings your body back to the present where you are safe. (02:50) You need a bubble. Number three, breathe to reset your nervous system. So you could do a halo breath in through the nose for four seconds, hold it for four, exhale for six. You're adding on an extra two seconds to really release to get everything out and all that nasty, gross opposite of dopamine. Crusty ass drama, bonding. We're going to release it in that exhale, right? You do this three times. Inhale four, hold for four, exhale six. If you want to pick five for all three to make it easier, it's fine. There's no right or wrong in this. Okay? So you could do inhale five, hold for five. Exhale for five, okay? Feel your shoulders drop, your chest loosen, and your mind clear. By the time you finish, that craving will feel smaller and you feel like the strong ass queen that you are. And if you want it to get even better, do it twice. (03:51) Name the thing again. Ground your body. Do the breath ...
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    6 min