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Counting the Cost cover art

Counting the Cost

Written by: Jill Duggar,Derick Dillard - contributor,Craig Borlase - contributor
Narrated by: Jill Duggar
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Publisher's Summary

For the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC’s hit show 19 Kids and Counting. Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans.

Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn’t protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.

But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore.

For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members—they weren’t willing to rock the boat. But now they’re raising a family of their own, and they’re done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through honesty.

©2023 Jill Duggar (P)2023 Simon & Schuster Audio

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Honest and respectful

This is a well written book. It’s raw, honest yet tactful and respectful. It is her story on her terms from her perspective and it’s easy to see how she has developed herself into an intelligent, strong woman

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I cried several times

We may not see eye to eye on some things, but I am proud of Jill for writing this book. I’ve been following her family since the first specials, and I loved hearing her perspective and the truth about what was actually going on behind the scenes. I hope she continues her journey of deconstruction and I hope her family can learn to love her even though she is forging her own path.

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Start to finish in 1 day

There are some things I’d heard about… but some shocking revelations. As someone who watched since the beginning… I was fooled by the show. I thought this was the perfect family with sweet kids. While many of the kids are sweet… this is far from a perfect family. There needs to be laws in place that protect child reality tv stars, their finances and their emotional needs.

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A Must-Read Book!

Finished this book in 1 day! Absolutely fantastic storytelling by Jill and Derick. I grew up watching the Duggars on TV and I am so proud of Jill for her strength and openness to share her story. If you watched the Duggar family or have heard of them over the years, this is a must-read to truly understand Jill's experience growing up as a child in a "Filming Family" and how she has come into her own.
So incredibly proud of Jill and feel privileged to have read her story.

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Counting the Courage

A touching real account of a family in a fish bowl for so long. Speaking your truth gives you your power back and it is very evident how much courage it took for Jill to find her voice.

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Loved hearing her side!

Amazing job! Loved hearing her side, wishing her and her family all the best! Congratulations

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engaging and authentic

I couldn't stop listening to this book. I have watched the Duggars on TV for years and years and I am a voracious consumer of Duggar content. I have watched their youtube channels, followed social media accounts, watched youtube commentary and deep dives and followed them in the news. I also watched the Shiny Happy People docu series. I even read an academic book about the quiverfull movement and part of a master's thesis about the Duggars because the religion and family is fascinating to me. I still learned soooo much from this book. Jill is kind but truthful in her assessment of her family and their situation and her strength is really inspiring.

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Enjoyed this

I really enjoyed hearing Jill’s side of growing up Duggar, her reflections, and ability to see both sides, and ultimately the deconstruction of her faith as she knew it. Her growth from being a people pleaser to a compassionate woman with boundaries was honest and raw.

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Wow

Very insightful and gave a very in depth look into the Jill and Derek’s story.

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Incredible strength

Families can be complicated but throughout the storms ..there is always love. Jill, a strong woman despite all the pain ..took the right journey for herself and her little family. She’s my hero 💕

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  • Save the Bees
  • 2023-09-13

Engaging, informative & incredibly honest… yet full of grace.

Found Jill’s story to inspire empathy for the costs of patriarchal fundamentalism / the IBLP. Jill not only draws attention to its impact on her own family, but for all those impacted by religious cults. Jill doesn’t shy away from condemning the egregious abuse that is so often overlooked in these circles. Yet she continues to demonstrate tact, support and love for her family and faith without offering any excuses/justifications.
In conclusion, I found this very informative and interesting. Even as a casual watcher without any religious background. 10/10. Excellent read. Highly recommends

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15 people found this helpful

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  • Leah Strejcek
  • 2023-09-13

Trying to be kind

I think there’s a lot more deconstruction that needs to happen before she can fully come to terms with her upbringing. Wishing her the best in that journey

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13 people found this helpful

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  • Emylee Scheideman
  • 2023-09-13

Raw and Honest

Jill reads this story like a girlfriend you’re having coffee with telling you about her life. She is raw, real and honest even when it hurts. It’s amazing how she’s able to reminisce on the beauties of her childhood while opening painful wounds and uncovering lies, deception and betrayal that were buried beneath. I started and finished listening to this book all in one day, I simply could not go to sleep until I finished it. Rather you’re a longtime follower of the Duggars, have only read the tabloids or just enjoy a good memoir this is the book for you.

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9 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2023-09-16

Couldntve done it better myself

as someone who grew up involved with IBLP and a somewhat close acquaintance of the Duggar family, this book filled in all the gaps of missing information I've been curious about for years. Jill did an incredible job telling the truth all while doing it with grace and love. I'll definitely be reading again soon.

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  • stayhomemom22
  • 2023-09-16

Excellent!

This book was excellent. She told everything everyone's been wondering and talking about for so long, only now we have the truth instead of absurd speculations. It was hard for me to listen to because I also grew up in Bill Gothard's ATIA/IBLP cult, but what she said about them was truth. Everything was perfect on the outside in that group, but it was filled with really dysfunctional families. That's why you're finally hearing from the grown children of some of those families. They're fed up of being fake, controlled, and miserable. I love that Jill is taking control of her life yet still trying to make amends with her family. Read this book. You won't regret it. I loved the audio because Jill read it herself and you could hear her emotion in her voice. I found myself crying as I remembered my own experience in the IBLP/IFB cult.

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  • laurar
  • 2023-09-15

I'm glad she got to tell her truth.

I share zero common interests with her. I don't even share most of her views on religion. I found this book very interesting from a child-raising perspective. The controlling house she lived in and how it shaped her early adulthood was eye-opening. Overall, I thought it was a good listen and I'm glad she found her voice.

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  • Corine O'Neill
  • 2023-09-15

Raw, brutally honest, and heartbreaking.

After reading reviews of the book Jinger released this year, I was a little skeptical. However, I’ve always thought Jill stood monolith in the shadow of the Duggar machine, and I’m glad I gave this book a shot.
Jill’s conviction in being “real” resulted in a poignant and candid introspection. This is less of a “tell all,” and more of a catharsis, and she deserves that.
As someone processing a similarly toxic relationship with my family (though not for religious reasons; I have been an atheist for a long time), I found myself relating deeply to the confusion and pain she expresses. As much as she tries to maintain a neutral tone in her delivery, you can hear pangs of hurt sneak into her voice.
Between that and her continuing recovery from the trauma related to the IBLP teachings, her resilience is inspiring. The book is definitely worth a read/listen, and hearing it directly from her made it that much more impactful.

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  • Mattie
  • 2023-09-23

Beautifully written!

I LOVED reading her book. She did a great job of writing about her childhood, abuse, relationships with her parents and unnamed friends, family, and her faith.

When watching the Duggars on their various shows, I always wondered what the girls went through, as I was able to pick up on the tension between Josh and his siblings. Hearing her side of things really solidified my suspicions about the emotional and mental abuse she endured for years.

I am happy for her to escape from the trauma, and controlling behaviors of her father.

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  • Shannon
  • 2023-09-13

5 stars

Jill tells her story very frankly all the while staying respectful and ultimately loving toward her parents and family.

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  • William J Gates
  • 2023-09-22

Much more deconditioning ahead

I wanted to like this book. It fell short for me as I was overwhelmed by the amount of indoctrination and programming that are still running the thought processes of the abused individuals. I am happy that Mrs. Dillard has shared her truth. I respect that and hope she continues as her emergence from indoctrination progresses. I wish healing for her and her family.

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2 people found this helpful