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Valkyrie

Expeditionary Force, Book 9
Written by: Craig Alanson
Narrated by: R.C. Bray
Series: Expeditionary Force, Book 9
Length: 19 hrs and 45 mins
4.8 out of 5 stars (481 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

After saving the world many times, the Merry Band of Pirates have accepted the inevitable: Earth is doomed.

All they can do is try to bring a few thousand people to safety, before vicious aliens arrive to destroy humanity's home world. 

No. 

There is one other thing they can do: hit the enemy so hard that the aliens will regret they ever heard of humans.

©2019 Craig Alanson (P)2020 Podium Publishing

What listeners say about Valkyrie

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Canadians do not say or use "EH like that.

As always amazing job RC Bray. the only problem is with the way the Canadian character uses Eh that's it Also, the blooper reel was amazing.

15 people found this helpful

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Time to write a review, eh?

Story follows the same formula Craig's been using for all his book, eh? Craig uses the same jokes we've been hearing since the beginning, eh? I heard a ton of hype surrounding this book for the /r/exfor subreddit, eh? so I decided to pick it up and see what all the hype was about, eh? Sorry, I'm Canadian and this is how Craig decided to write out the only Canadian character. Seems like kind if a nitpicky thing to be annoyed with, but it is such an awkward stereotype for him to shoehorn into dialogue as many times as he does. Story: If you liked the other installments of this series you're going to still like this one, because it's following the same exact formula as every other books in the series. MBoP has an "impossible" task and everyone is depressed about it. They have to run some sort of errand before tackling the main plot. Then Joe comes up with some brilliant idea and saves the day. Skippy makes a monkey joke, called someone a dumb-dumb, and proclaims how much he hates his life. Then Craig throws a cliffhanger into the end so he can still sell his next book. Unfortunately, I dont think I'll be getting the next one since I already feel ridiculous for buying essentially the same book 8 times already. Performance: Bray is still an amazing performer and his acting alone has been carrying the story for me. The characters all have unique voices and he does a very good job at making them feel like real people with real emotions. Overall: Enjoyed the series early on, won't be continuing support Craig. People give George R.R. Martin a bad wrap for never finishing his main story; but I think pumping out the same book over and over a rapid pace should be just as appalling and Craig should take longer periods between books and deviate from the formula.

6 people found this helpful

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Ending Disappointing

Great series. Great book. Lousy ending. I hate it when authors use cliffhangers to get people to build interest in the next book in a series. This one is particularly upsetting cause it leaves a major conflict and plot point up in the air. I love this series but this was so unworthy of the author. I will continue with the series but if the cliffhangers continue it will be my last.

5 people found this helpful

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Craig how could you!? amazing book! must listen!!

A heads up for anyone that absolutely loves this series, and hates cliff hangers: DO BUY, but wait till the next book comes out to listen. Craig Alanson leaves the book off on the craziest most nail biting cliff hanger I have ever seen him leave us hang on T-T I WANT THE NEXT BOOK NOW!! Like, right now!

5 people found this helpful

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Five stars but screw you Mr Craig

Hmmm where oh where shall I start. Well im now 100% positive skippy is Craigs alter ego, yup thats right!!! Besides Craig being a jackass with a cliff hanger ending like that, well more like a Grand Canyon cliff hanger, this addition to the series is top notch, great plot progression blah blah haha. The only thing that stopped me from becoming one of those social media trolls was the blooper real past the ending, lucky RC Bray saved ur ass Craig lol. All joking aside this is an amazing addition to the series, if I could rate it 6 stars I would then I would promptly rate it back to 5 stars with that cliff hand ending. Well played Craig.....

4 people found this helpful

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WHAT IN THE BLEEPITY BLEEP WAS THAT!!!!

Craig Alanson. There had better be more to this! Do not leave us hanging like that!

3 people found this helpful

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holy shit

best book yet tho that ending. you will know when you finish it. 10 stars cause fuck yea

3 people found this helpful

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awesome

first of all. DAMN YOU CRAIG ALANSON! CLIFFHANGER OF THE YEAR AND ITS ONLY FEBRUARY!! I love this universe and I hope you continue writing amazing books.

2 people found this helpful

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  • JCW
  • 2020-02-09

Worst book of the series.

Really disappointed on multiple levels. Adds literally nothing new to the series aside from “big reveals” about Skippy’s past near the very end of the book. Another cheesy cliffhanger ending too, which is becoming a trend. Also, why does Frey now punctuate every sentence with “eh”? Traumatic brain injury sustained between conclusion of the last book and this turd?

2 people found this helpful

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Left me hanging...

I have listened to this entire series, wow this one was by far the most unexpected at the end... Hurry up for the next one..

1 person found this helpful

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  • Kevin
  • 2020-02-04

A chore to read. A disappointment and repetitive.

My first review was removed. I'm not sure why? It was ranked the number 1 review of the book as most helpful.... I'm pretty upset. I'm not going to lie. I download and binge the books as they are released. Pulling all nighters... I've been patient. I've been calm. I've defended the series from justified criticism... but I'm so disappointed with this book. Half the book was nothing but filler that didn't need to be there. The first half of the book had me fist pumping the air. The second half made me tired, annoyed, upset, and honestly it was a chore to finish the book. I've never felt so bored and annoyed by an author's choice to create a problem that doesn't need to exist, ONLY TO THEN SHOEHORN the advertised revealing of everything. It felt unnatural. And it was as if he simply got tired of writing the filler and just wedged in the reveals. It made me mad that the MBOP also never seem to actually show appreciation of Skippy. They are jerks to him. Yes he's a jerk at times, but look at some of the statements towards him.... I cannot recall a genuine thank you or anything. It's unnatural and a poor attempt at foreshadowing. The ending.. I'm glad we know, but I'm certifiably mad that Craig decided to waste the second half of the book on some mission that did not need to be in the book at all. There's literally no reason for that problem to exist. I'm so tired of the filler dragging the books out. Honestly, I'm seriously debating giving up on my second favorite book series. I'm a diehard fan and have read each book at minimum 4 times each. The cliffhanger wasn't clever or exciting, it was annoying. We deserved better after waiting so long for answers. I'm genuinely disappointed that after everything, our heros have yet again waste their time, nothing matters, no one respects Joe for some darn reason, and he still might not get the girl. It's been 9 books, do your thing or get off the pot with the relationships. The repetitiveness of the story arches and the repetitiveness of the books plot points is unnecessary and filler. We get it, the earth is doomed. Okay. You told us that 7 times in the last 20 pages. We.get.it.

365 people found this helpful

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  • Carl Haynes
  • 2020-02-06

You stupid monkeys! Why would anyone read a review for book 9

It’s book freeking 9. If you ate 8 bananas from a bunch would you think the 9th banana would be so different that you would have to consult other monkeys on the tasty deliciousness of their 9th banana. Nnoooooo stupid monkeys love bananas and when they have loved their previous 8 bananas form this bunch, said stupid monkey should already know that they will love their 9th banana. Or similarly they will love the continuing adventures of the worlds most magnificent and awesome elder AI Skippy the Magnificent and his stupid side kick Joe “stupid smelly monkey” Bishop on their newly assembled BATTLECRUISER Valkyrie

244 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 2020-02-05

Cliffhangers suck

I completely hate Cliffhangers. The ending is the worst I have ever heard. or could imagine.

155 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2020-02-05

Talk about beating the dead horse.

I was huge fan of this book series. But it feels like I'm reading the same book over and over again. I have relationship fatigue. Sick of hearing the unnatural Way the relationships all exist. This series should have ended three books ago. I think Skippy says it best when he sums up everything blah blah blah

150 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2020-02-06

Feel sorry for RC Bray having to read this

Loved the first book. Sadly the quality have declined steadily as the series have progressed. Seems the author has run out of fresh ideas and is just rehashing old material without being able to develop the plot further. As the story gets more and more confusing, it ends in a cliffhanger. A waste of time and a waste of money. It is obvious that Alanson has decided to milk this series for all it is worth by publishing books faster and faster at the expense of ever declining quality.

140 people found this helpful

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  • Ryan
  • 2020-02-05

Terrible book

You keep hoping the story is going to progress it doesn’t. The narrator is awesome. If it wasn’t for him I would not even bother with the story.

121 people found this helpful

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  • LaSwaggy
  • 2020-02-09

I made it this far, but I can't take any more.

First review ever because enough is enough. I'm done. I've been waiting for the plot to advance. And it did to an extent as they went on the offensive and the dynamic of the Universe totally changed. I really enjoyed it. But then do something incredibly dumb based on Bishop's jealousy over an Adams non-issue (For the love of God retire the "I can't date Adams because the Army would be mad at me." trope. It's not even casual mentions this time either, Bishop vomits on and on about it and even the other characters are tired of it. Like Bishop hasn't commited Mutiny before? More insultingly, Bishop casually dismisses Army regulations in a single sentence later in the book (Chinese General). Furthermore, Bishop has not developed as character. He's been in command for years, but still struggles to act like an adult, both in terms of maturity and intelligence (he's almost proud of his ignorance). When people tell him obvious truths his feelings get easily hurt, and then he mopes. Skippy has to lock Mario Kart until he finishes his readings. He thinks "fortuitous" is a fancy word. The list goes on and on. Would Piccard or say Jack Ryan act like this? And then the plot goes to die. An entire section of the book should have been cut. It killed the plot momentum for a mission that made no sense. What made me the most mad about the situation is that it heavily referenced book 3.5 about the Mavericks; I didn't listen to that one as these books don't work without Skippy/Bishop dialogs. Same thing he did in book 8 with Daytona (book 7.5). I was confused about my first read of book 8 that reference Daytona. So I tried to listen to Daytona, but I couldn't finish. Just terrible. Upside however: I learned how to exchnage Audible books. These plot references feel cheap and simple quick cash grabs. I'm disappointed in the author. He has plenty of plot ideas to work with and we've proven we'll pay for strong content. New and usual faults aside, the cliffhanger at the end is intriguing. But it's a development that didn't require 11 books to introduce. Narration was great, but I'm still done with the series.

113 people found this helpful

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  • Dan Walton
  • 2020-02-04

Don't stop now!

I have experienced all nine books and all I can say is please don't stop now even if you have to make up something... hehe. This author and narrator combination make these books very fun to hear. If you wrote 90 books I would listen to them all!

77 people found this helpful

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  • Steve
  • 2020-02-10

Wait for book 10 before you bother reading this on

I like these books because of the humor and complex problems, but I agree with the other reviewers that have noted that all the books follow exactly the same pattern: the team gets a mission, Skippy figures out they are screwed, and Joe comes up with a solution because he eats a bagel. I can live with the standard story line because the writing has been pretty good and RC Bray is awesome. However, this book sucked. To start with, Joe blaming himself for everything drives me nuts. "It's all my fault Gunny." "It sure you is you moron, so suck it up.... sir" Now write that about 500 times and you have this book nailed for the most part. If Joe were real, no one would follow him to the toilet, much less into space. The teams stupid devotion to military rules that are completely meaningless does not help either. For example, Simms gives Joe crap because someone needs to sign for equipment list by someone that died in the previous book. Seriously? Humanity is doomed, and these so called heroes are worried about who is going to pay for a list utility belt? Plain stupid, IMHO. This book was more than painful to listen to.... It just made me mad. First, Joe's relationship with Adams is painful. The human species is in danger of being extinct... just tell her you love her Joe. Second, the story made no sense... If you just listen to the first and last chapters, you see what I mean... They are not connected at all. And the cliffhanger was just lazy and infuriating. In the last 7 minutes if the book, Skippy completely changes, calls Joe "human" and the book ends with him betraying the whole human species because they are too lonely for his newfound sense if Godlike authority. I will give the author this: I was surprised. But not in a good way. I actually might punch him if he were here right now. I am sure I will feel different tomorrow, but I am pissed right now. Don't bother buying this book unless you are a masochist and like to be beat to hell. At this point, I don't care how the story ends and will not buy anything else Craig writes. He is on my permanent "never again" list. And if you think this review is harsh, thrn buy the book and listen to it. Then read this review again. You will see what I mean.

76 people found this helpful

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  • shannon Pitman
  • 2020-02-05

wow hours I cant get back

I have over 100 books 1st review.. loved the books till now got the preorder. 1st time not worth it on this one. sorry 1st bad reviews

65 people found this helpful