Healthy relationships don’t always sound dramatic. Often, they sound like quiet understanding in the kitchen, like a pause in the middle of conflict, or like a gentle “That makes sense.” In this follow-up to his previous episode on relationship language, Daniel Dashnaw shares seven more phrases emotionally secure people say, and what they reveal about trust, connection, and repair.

From “I don’t need you to fix it” to “How can I love you better right now?” each phrase is rooted in attachment science, co-regulation, and the ethics of care. Daniel explores how these everyday words aren’t just nice, they’re neuroscience-backed signals of real emotional safety and partnership.

💬 if you’re a therapist, in a relationship, or just trying to love better, this episode offers real-world language that fosters deeper intimacy and secure functioning.

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In this monologue episode, Daniel Dashnaw shares seven phrases that reveal the heart of a healthy relationship, not just in words, but in how they shape the nervous system, build trust, and support lasting connection.

From “I don’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells with you” to “Let’s figure out how this fits into both of our lives,” Daniel explores what these statements really mean, and why they matter. Drawing on clinical insight and attachment science, he explains how language can reflect deep safety, co-regulation, and secure functioning in partnerships.

are you building a new relationship or strengthening a long-term one? These seven statements can become guideposts for emotional attunement and resilient love.

Want to support Daniel’s work?

You can now buy him a coffee via the link in the footer of his website. Every micro-contribution helps keep this podcast ad-free and deeply researched.

In this episode of Better Relationships Through Research, Daniel sits down with renowned educator, author, and therapist Dr. Linda Metcalf, PhD. With decades of experience in both clinical settings and public education, Linda brings a refreshing, compassionate lens to therapy and school systems alike.

Together, they explore:

✅ The origin and power of Solution-Focused Narrative Therapy

✅ How to engage neurodivergent clients and couples using postmodern approaches

✅ The essential role of language, curiosity, and emotional safety in school settings

✅ Why teacher burnout affects students—and how to rehumanize classrooms

✅ Her work training entire schools to shift from punishment to curiosity and connection

✅ What we can learn from the “throwaway kids” who thrive when given a voice

✅ Her belief that resistance doesn’t exist—only the need for more flexible therapists

Whether you're a clinician, educator, parent, or simply someone curious about reshaping systems for better connection, this conversation is rich with heart, strategy, and hope.

In this Monologue episode, marriage and family therapist Daniel Dashnaw explores one of the most emotionally charged topics in modern relationships: the invisible mental load.

From meal planning and remembering birthdays to managing household logistics and emotional weather, many partners—often women—carry an unspoken weight that goes unacknowledged until it explodes. Daniel walks listeners through why this conversation so often triggers defensiveness and how to have it differently: with vulnerability, clarity, and a shared desire to rebalance the partnership.

You’ll learn:

• Why the phrase “Why didn’t you just ask?” can be so triggering
• How cultural patterns and relational dynamics shape the mental load
• A 5-step framework for talking about shared responsibility without blame
• What true mental co-ownership looks like—and how to invite it

Whether you’re feeling burned out, unseen, or just ready for deeper teamwork, this episode offers a compassionate guide to preserving love before resentment takes root.

Visit www.danielcouplestherapy.com for more writing, or connect with Daniel on Instagram.

You may have seen the headline: Divorced and unmarried people have less cognitive decline than those who are married. Surprising? Yes. But is it true?

In this solo monologue, therapist Daniel Dashnaw unpacks a widely circulated study from Florida State University that claims being single may protect your brain. Daniel takes a critical look at the methodology behind the research—highlighting its failure to distinguish marital status from marital quality—and explains why the nuance really matters.

Through clinical insight and common sense, Daniel offers a more grounded perspective on how intimate relationships affect cognitive health, memory, and well-being over time. He explores how loving partnerships can serve as emotional anchors and cognitive mirrors, helping us track changes, reduce stress, and live longer, fuller lives.

This is a must-listen for anyone curious about the real science behind relationships and longevity—without the media spin.

📝 Read more about Daniels views on relationships on his blog at danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com

🎧 Better Relationships Through Research is available wherever you get your podcasts.

In this episode of Better Relationships Through Research, Daniel sits down with internationally recognized psychotherapist Rick Miller, LICSW. Known for his pioneering work with gay men and experiential therapy, Rick brings his decades of clinical experience to an honest and deeply insightful conversation about emotional connection, sexuality, intimacy, and the evolving dynamics of open relationships.

Together, they explore:

• How mindfulness and body awareness can enhance relationship work
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• Why some gay couples succeed in navigating open relationships—and what straight couples can learn from them
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• The emotional labor behind non-monogamy
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• Why therapists need to be trained in sexual health
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• Rick’s new workbook, Opening Up: A Communication Workbook for Male Couples (Available April 17 at https://www.rickmiller.biz/opening-up)
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• The importance of being honest about professional limitations—and why some therapists should refer clients elsewhere when it comes to sexual complexity
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Whether you’re a therapist, a couple navigating modern intimacy, or simply curious about the edges of relational growth, this conversation is full of wisdom, compassion, and refreshing honesty.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to Rick Miller and his clinical background

01:22 – Rick’s upcoming workbook: Opening Up for Male Couples

02:07 – Experiential therapy, mindfulness, and emotional attunement

03:27 – QR code meditations & integrating tech in therapy

04:34 – Keynote talk preview: “Learning from Gay Male Couples”

05:21 – Therapist missteps in handling open relationships

06:18 – Building frameworks from clinical intuition vs. research

08:03 – Sliding door analogy for non-monogamy

09:31 – Emotional labor and open relationships

11:03 – Real-world examples of navigating polyamory and openness

14:10 – Historical context of gay male sexuality

16:01 – Esther Perel, Michel Weiner-Davis, and evolving views on infidelity

18:13 – The tension between honesty, mystery, and disclosure

19:28 – Monogamy, culture, and shifting generational values

20:48 – Rick's evolution in couples therapy and LGBTQ+ dynamics

22:15 – Stories of real couples navigating love, loss, and renewal

25:09 – Restoring intimacy and communication in long-term relationships

26:16 – Encounter with Michele Weiner-Davis & challenging therapist stereotypes

27:53 – Surveillance culture and privacy in relationships

28:47 – Sexual disconnection in long-term partnerships

30:11 – Realistic expectations for sexual intimacy over time

31:09 – Rick’s reflections on writing the new workbook

33:00 – Visibility and support for gay male couples in literature

36:14 – Outsourcing open relationship work to specialists

37:06 – Merging sexuality and psychotherapy: a growing movement

39:16 – Resources for therapists seeking training in sexual health

40:23 – The rise of modern, inclusive therapists

41:07 – The need for more authentic dialogue about sex

42:21 – Rick’s nonprofit Gay Sons & Mothers and upcoming film

43:18 – Closing thoughts and gratitude

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If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to visit Daniel’s blog and website for more articles, interviews, and insights exploring the intersections of research, intimacy, and therapeutic growth.

Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone you know navigating the evolving landscape of modern relationships.

In this episode, host Daniel Dashnaw speaks with psychoanalyst, parent coach, and author Erica Komisar about the critical role of emotional presence in the early years of child development and the rising challenges of adolescent anxiety in today’s world. Erica shares practical, research-backed strategies for parents to foster healthy attachment, recognize anxiety, and build resilience in their children.

Key Takeaways:

Why the first three years of a child’s life are foundational for emotional and psychological well-being.

How societal pressures, technology, and changing cultural norms impact family dynamics.

The role of parental attunement and curiosity in supporting adolescent mental health.

Practical steps to nurture secure connections and navigate modern stressors.

Erica’s compassionate approach offers a roadmap for parents, therapists, and caregivers looking to strengthen family bonds amidst the challenges of our fast-paced, often disconnected culture.

Erica Komisar is the author of Being There and Chicken Little: The Sky Isn’t Falling and a seasoned expert in family mental health, featured in The Wall Street Journal and Thrive Global.

If you enjoyed this conversation, explore Daniel’s extensive library of blogs on relationship research and family therapy at https://danieldashnawcouplestherapy.com/

In this insightful episode of the Better Relationships Through Research podcast, host Daniel Dashnaw delves into the complex and often controversial topic of infidelity in American culture. Drawing from various examples in popular media, Daniel explores how cultural tropes around infidelity have evolved and their impact on societal attitudes and personal relationships.

Key topics discussed include:

- The portrayal of infidelity in movies and TV shows like Fatal Attraction and Mad Men.

- The dichotomy between infidelity as a moral failure and as a quest for personal fulfillment.

- Gender dynamics and how they shape narratives around cheating in relationships.

- The historical and social contexts that have influenced American views on fidelity and marriage.

Daniel challenges listeners to critically examine these cultural narratives and consider how they influence our personal values and relationship choices.

Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of how infidelity is depicted and its broader implications on relationships in society.

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