In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin and Andrew Luber discuss Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), exploring its definition, subtypes, and the lived experiences of those affected. Andrew shares his personal journey with ARFID, highlighting the challenges and coping strategies he has developed. The conversation emphasizes the importance of understanding, support, and humor in navigating the complexities of ARFID, while also providing practical tips for managing the disorder. Listeners are encouraged to embrace their experiences and seek help when needed, reinforcing the message that they are not alone in their struggles with food aversion.

ARFID is a serious eating disorder that affects many people.
It is distinct from other eating disorders, focusing on food aversion rather than body image.
There are three main subtypes of ARFID: avoidant, aversive, and restrictive.
Lived experiences, like Andrew's, provide valuable insights into managing ARFID.
Practical tips, such as gradual exposure and using humor, can help cope with ARFID.
Support from friends and family is crucial for those with ARFID.
Creating a comfortable environment can ease the challenges of eating.
Understanding ARFID can reduce stigma and promote awareness.
It's important to be patient with oneself when dealing with ARFID.
Seeking professional help is a brave step towards recovery.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Time Blindness, Executive Function and ADHD Strategies

In this episode of "Real Over Ideal," Vanessa delves into the concept of time blindness and its impact on our daily lives. This one is not just for people with ADHD-- but for anyone who can relate to overwhelm and anxiety from all of the juggling our daily lives demand.

Discover six practical strategies to work with your brain, not against it, in managing time effectively.

From externalizing clocks to gamifying tasks, Vanessa offers insights and tools to help you navigate time management challenges with compassion and understanding.

Tune in to learn how to create rhythms and rituals that truly work for you. #TimeManagement #ADHD #RealOverIdeal

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin and guest expert, Jessica Cook delve into the complexities of relationships, focusing on boundaries, conflict resolution, and the impact of social media.

They discuss the importance of vulnerability and emotional awareness in navigating interpersonal dynamics, as well as the concept of the rupture-repair cycle, which emphasizes the potential for growth and deeper connection following conflicts.

The conversation also touches on the challenges posed by social media in shaping perceptions of relationships and the necessity of honest communication to maintain meaningful connections.

Jessica can be found on her Instagram- @jessicagcoook

Takeaways

Conflict resolution is a crucial skill in relationships.
Boundaries vary depending on the relationship context.
Recognizing emotional triggers can prevent conflict escalation.
Vulnerability is essential for repairing relationships.
The rupture-repair cycle can strengthen connections.
Social media can distort perceptions of relationships.
Conversations should aim for understanding, not winning.
It's important to trust oneself in difficult conversations.
Every relationship has the potential to be saved.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

It's "Back to School" time-- and even if you're not a student and don't have one in your life right now: this time of year can bring up a lot of "feels."

Late diagnosis of ADHD is a real thing, and people express a lot of sadness and grief-- but also relief about the diagnosis.

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin discusses the often overlooked issue of late ADHD diagnosis, particularly among women. She highlights the emotional struggles that accompany this late diagnosis, including feelings of shame and burnout.

The conversation also addresses how to respond to dismissive comments about ADHD and emphasizes the importance of compassion and understanding for oneself and others.

The episode concludes with a call to embrace one's real experiences rather than striving for an unattainable ideal.

Takeaways

Late ADHD diagnosis often affects women more than men.
Burnout is a common experience for adults with ADHD.
Emotional overwhelm is a significant symptom in women with ADHD.
ADHD is not about laziness; it's a neurodevelopmental difference.
Compassion is crucial for those navigating ADHD challenges.
Dismissive comments about ADHD can be hurtful and invalidating.
Understanding ADHD can lead to clarity and self-acceptance.
Supportive tools like visual timers can help manage ADHD.
It's important to validate your own experiences without seeking approval from others.
Creating a life that fits your needs is essential for well-being.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this companion episode to "Intuitive Eating and Living with Pam Moore," Vanessa Gorelkin walks the listener through a simple but powerful mindful eating exercise.

If you'd like to participate, all you need do is get a raisin, another piece of dried fruit or a small bit of chocolate-- and find a quiet space to listen.

We would love to hear from you about your experiences with mindful eating and this exercise. You can email us at the address in the show notes.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend.

And if you can spare a moment: leave us a 5 star review wherever you hear these episodes-- it's helps others find the show.

Until next time--

Keep it Real over Ideal, listeners. Thank you for joining us for this episode.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin speaks with Pam Moore, an occupational therapist turned health and fitness journalist and comedian.

Here's everything you need to know about Pam Moore:

Pam Moore is an occupational therapist-turned-award-winning health and fitness freelance journalist, intuitive eating coach, and standup comic.

As an intuitive eating coach, her mission is to help women break up with the scale and move their bodies because it feels good — not as punishment. As a writer, she’s covered everything from diet culture to deadlifts for outlets including The Washington Post, Runner's World, and SELF.

Despite, or more likely because of being picked last for every team as a kid, Pam is an avid gravel cyclist, a long-time indoor cycling teacher, certified personal trainer, six-time marathoner, and two-time Ironman finisher.

She lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband and two daughters.

Socials/website:
Website: https://pam-moore.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pammoorewriter/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pammoore303/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/PamMoore303

This episode dives into the importance of intuitive eating, the impact of ADHD on personal journeys, and the concept of reinvention.

It gets meta, as we like to do on Real Over Ideal when Vanessa and Pam talk about the time Vanessa was on Pam's podcast on her 10/5/2021 Episode of Real Fit. Check that appearance out here:

https://www.pam-moore.com/realfit/2021/10/05/how-to-stop-obsessing-about-food-and-weight

Pam shares her experiences with mental health, movement, and the significance of finding joy in activities rather than viewing them as punishments. The conversation emphasizes the need for self-acceptance and the journey towards understanding one's body and needs.

The companion episode promised at the end of the show will be publishing on 8/21/25 in which you'll be guided through the Mindful Eating Exercise mentioned at the end of the show, it will be coming out on 8/21/25.

Takeaways

Being functional is more important than being impressive.
Intuitive eating helps women reconnect with their bodies.
ADHD can be both a hindrance and a motivator.
Reinvention is a continuous journey, not a destination.
Flow state enhances mental health and creativity.
Intuitive eating is about listening to your body's signals.
Indulgence should be redefined as self-care.
Self-acceptance is crucial for emotional well-being.
Satisfaction in meals is key to preventing emotional eating.
Trusting oneself is a process that requires practice.

Content note: brief mentions of eating disorders and disordered eating behaviors are mentioned in the discussion

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Not every therapist is the right fit, and that's OK.

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explains how to tell if your therapist is not serving your needs anymore.

Vanessa discusses the the most common red flags in therapy, how to trust your instincts and what to do if you end the relationship. The power dynamics at play in therapeutic relationships is discussed.

This episode describes how therapy is a service meant to benefit the client, and clients have the right to terminate therapy without guilt or obligation, while providing practical tips to handle the termination process.

Vanessa encourages listeners to prioritize their own needs and well-being in their therapeutic journey, while also engaging with your own support systems and trusted people in your life who might be able to help you determine the best way for you to proceed.

Takeaways

Therapy is not magic; it requires active participation.
You have the right to fire your therapist if needed.
Therapists can also need to be fired by clients.
Therapy should be client-centered, focusing on your needs.
You don't owe your therapist closure or explanations.
It's okay to stop therapy if it's not helping you.
Therapy costs money; don't waste it on unwanted sessions.
You can terminate therapy without guilt or shame.
Your mental health is your responsibility.
You can communicate your decision to leave clearly and kindly.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com

Dear Listeners,

It's bonus episode time-- a gift of an early episode drop, from us to you, because we are so grateful that you are out there listening.

It's amazing to know that this little but mighty podcast has been downloaded on every continent and in 268 cities so far!

We owe many thanks to you that our audience is growing.

Whether you've shared the podcast on your social media, with people in your daily life, or recommended it in some other way-- with your help-- we are growing. We have a dedicated audience of listeners who value reliable, approachable, evidence based advice related to mental health and wellness.

So, Real Ones-- Please keep on listening, enjoying and sharing-- and if you can take the time: please give us a 5 star review so that other listeners can find "Real Over Ideal." And we would love to hear from you with your questions for "Untangle This," any episode requests or your feedback.

On to the episode:

Summer is painted as a golden season of ease and joy, but it can feel heavy in a unique way for some.

In this episode, the emotional challenges many face during the summer months are surfaced.

Low mood in the summer is often referred to as the 'summer blues.'

This episode is an exploration of the concept of seasonal affective disorder, particularly how it can (surprisingly) manifest in warmer months. You'll hear some practical coping strategies for managing stress, guilt, and body image issues.

The episode emphasizes the importance of self-permission and maintaining a flexible routine to navigate the complexities of summer life.

Takeaways

Summer is marketed as a season of bliss, but many struggle.
Seasonal affective disorder can occur in summer, not just winter.
Guilt often stems from internalized expectations about summer.
Redefining fun can help alleviate summer pressure.
Self-permission is crucial for mental well-being in summer.
Body image issues can be exacerbated during summer months.
Maintaining a flexible routine can provide stability.
Hydration and rest are key to managing summer stress.
Social media can distort perceptions of summer experiences.
It's okay to not enjoy summer like everyone else.

Vanessa Gorelkin, MA, OTR/L is a licensed Occupational Therapist with 30 years of experience. She is in private telehealth practice-- providing therapy and coaching services nationally and internationally.

To get in touch -- email us at realoveridealpod@gmail.com