Get a free audiobook

Boundaries

When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
Written by: John Townsend, Henry Cloud
Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (38 ratings)
Price: CDN$ 35.73
CDN$ 14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Publisher's Summary

Boundaries is the book that's helped more than 2 million people learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of their lives.

Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above.

In the New York Times best seller, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you learn when to say yes and know how to say no in order to take control of your life and set healthy, biblical boundaries with your spouse, children, friends, parents, co-workers, and even yourself.

Now updated and expanded for the digital age, this book continues to help millions of people around the world answer these tough questions:

  • Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
  • What are legitimate boundaries?
  • How do I effectively manage my digital life so that it doesn't control me?
  • What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
  • How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
  • Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
  • How do boundaries relate to mutual submission within marriage?
  • Aren’t boundaries selfish?

You don’t have to let your life spiral out of control. Discover how boundaries make life better today!

Plus, check out the Boundaries family collection of books dedicated to key areas of life - dating, marriage, raising kids, parenting teens, and leadership. Workbooks and Spanish editions are also available.

©2008 Henry Cloud (P)2017 Zondervan

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    28
  • 4 Stars
    3
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    3

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    17
  • 4 Stars
    5
  • 3 Stars
    3
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    1

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    17
  • 4 Stars
    5
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    2
Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A necessary lesson

This was a good book on why boundaries are essential to any success in life. I liked the specific examples and a description of a person with no boundaries vs one with well defined boundaries.
We all are like a city without walls waiting to be invaded when boundaries are missing.
Personally, I was a child in a verbally abusive home where drug abuse was also present. There were fights and screams for which I had zero context. The lack of clear boundaries had a profound impact on me. Only now, in my 30s am I coming to grips with the damage done and that I will need to work on myself a lot to experience better relationships. Setting boundaries is very diff but so vital!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Too religious

I couldn't get through the content because they made references to Bible verses every few lines. I'm not opposed to Bible verses, but not when it upsets the flow of the novel.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Al
  • 2018-07-08

A life changing must-read!

Likely the most comprehensive book on boundaries available. I hadn't a clue boundaries could be so all-encompassing.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Too religious

The sheer volume of scripture and references to The Bible made me fantasize about inventing an app that could go through the book and delete all bible references. I imagine the book would be 1/3 the size after deleting scripture passages. It was judgmental and non-inclusive in some parts, even abit victim-blamey (as most fundamentally Christian-based things are) I can handle religious references but man was this book full on bible immersion school. The information on boundaries was good but if you’re not steeped in Christianity you’re probably better off buying another of the plethora of good boundary books out there.

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

Sort by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Victoria Robben
  • La Jolla, CA, United States
  • 2018-06-06

Wonderful but should probably mention religion or the Bible in title

This is a great book. All the information, examples, and strategies related to boundaries was wonderful! I wish I learned this earlier! It’s helped me so much already, and will continue to help me be more responsible and healthier in my relationships, work, home life, and health. Psychologically sound, with lots of insight and practical wisdom. I’m not religious and at first was a little turned off by all the biblical references, but they were presented very well and from a rational and helpful perspective. No shaming, blaming, guilt, or judgment. I enjoyed learning about the Bible from this positive perspective.

46 of 47 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Vikki
  • 2018-07-20

LIFE CHANGING

I would recommend this book to all Christians and non-Christians alike. This book details concrete examples of boundaries and why they are so important. By the end it gives you the steps you will need to implement boundaries and live a healthy non-destructive lifestyle. This book will help you identify what might be holding you back. I never expected to feel so great about a book. I have since gifted this book to 5 people 😀

19 of 20 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Amazon Customer
  • 2019-01-07

A bit Christian heavy but helpful none the less

as with anything they'll be some words you take with you in some words you leave behind

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • PRINCESS
  • ARLINGTON, TX
  • 2018-05-15

Life changing

There was nothing in this book that I didn’t like. It has opened my eyes and giving me insight and understanding of why my life is such a mess. I’ve been incorporating boundaries in my life and it is amazing how much better my life is becoming. Still a work in progress but this gives me so much hope for a better life.

7 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Christina Gelder
  • Seattle, WA
  • 2019-03-21

Lots of biblical references

LOTS of biblical references which may be a deal breaker for some and often would be for me but in this case it was fine which just goes to show what a well written book it was and what a great message!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Archelena McDonald
  • 2018-03-13

PHENOMENAL!!!!!

TRULY! THIS BOOK IS A MUST READ/LISTEN. I PURCHASED THE HARD COPY BUT HAD TO THEN BUY THE AUDIBLE DUE TO MY HECTIC SCHEDULE. NEVERTHELESS, IT WAS WORTH EVERY PENNY! I THANK GOD FOR TEACHING US HOW TO LOVE OURSELVES AS WE SIMULTANEOUSLY LOVE OTHERS THROUGH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. THANKS BE TO GOD FOR USING THESE AUTHORS AS VESSELS FOR SHARING HIS WORD! 🙏

8 of 10 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2019-03-18

Very helpful but heavily Christian

I found this book incredibly helpful, as one who struggles with setting boundaries. However, as a non-Christian I did find the overwhelming amount of Christian references a little distracting. If you are Christian, this book will be perfect for you though.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Nicole Luchaco
  • 2019-03-04

Legitimately changed my life

I read the first 7 chapters 6 years ago, and it radically changed the way that I did life. 7 years later I came back and listened to the whole thing, and had the same experience. This book gave me the courage to say no. And to know when to say yes. I have shared this book with more people than I can count. And whenever they follow through with reading it, I hear the same thing “This book changed my life.”

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Timothy J Grzybowski
  • DETROIT LAKES, MN, US
  • 2018-07-17

Absolutely Amazing! This book changed my life!

this book was amazing! It changed my whole understanding of life! I grew up in a textbook perfect family...parents stayed together, siblings and I were all close, and dad was a pastor in a Lutheran Church. but yet I knew something had to be missing because I'd already been divorced once and was having issues with my kids and my siblings and my parents and another personal relationship as an adult, and I just always felt like I wasn't a good enough Christian to top all that!. after reading this book I have conviction in my No! in order to set boundaries and I'm confident that I'm following God's will as I better myself and help myself to create good relationships with God fearing people that will support my own quest in life life and give me overall happiness! I recommend this book to everyone out there who is wondering if what you're giving is not enough even though you're exhausted everyday of your life!

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Thomas Wells
  • 2018-03-20

Good book, but the reader...

What do you think the narrator could have done better?

The narrator seemed to run on. It felt like he did not give enough time between sentences and thoughts in the book. Like maybe he was rushing through it.

Any additional comments?

I do wish the book had a few more examples that are based on what the people actually did. There were a few but, I felt the book could use a few more to show the reader/ listener how and why the person came to the boundary. A little more explanation on understanding how to set appropriate boundaries too. I really enjoyed the biblical context showing that if you can parse it, The Bible is an instruction manual to life. I will definitely be listing to this book several more times!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

Sort by:
  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 2019-03-20

too much religion

the book has interesting views, but the continuous references to the bible make it a strenuous read